Category: Motherhood

She did it!

 

DSC_9584 My mom graduated from BYU this week.

DSC_9590It was such a happy occasion.

DSC_9599This is the family who came to cheer for her.

DSC_9604The Sanchez girls are all BYU graduates now.DSC_9611 DSC_9618Here are a few of the grandchildren. I asked Matthew to move his hair so at least one eye was visible for the photo. Anna thought that I was talking to everyone, so she’s doing her best to just show only one eye. Oh, that girl makes me smile.DSC_9622 DSC_9623 We drove down to Spring Lake and had a big party. Susan decorated the yard with flags and the interior with all things BYU. It was so festive!

DSC_9628 As Richard drove the cake from the bakery, Sparky decided to jump on top of the plastic cover, destroying the decorations. The bakery was kind enough to redecorate it.

DSC_9630I am so thankful for my mom’s example of sacrifice and unselfishness, her persistence and flexibility. I have seen that her decision to focus on her family before her own college dreams has blessed our lives. She always said with confidence that she made the decision to leave school because it was the right thing for her to do. She didn’t complain about it to us. I always felt that she chose me and the other children and she was happy about it. She embraced being a mother and helped my dad to build his business. She shared herself. She was present. She was involved in our education. She prepared our meals and volunteered at the schools. She read to us. She disciplined us. She was always reading and she filled our home with books. Her consistent presence at home was an anchor and a shield against trouble in my life.

She went back to school in 2006 and set plans for a graduation date. She and my dad were called to be missionaries from 2007-2010, and her college books went back on the shelf during those years. She learned Spanish on her mission and when she came back she worked hard to receive college credit for her language skills. The things that she has learned in literature, cooking, family relations and child development courses will continue to be a blessing to our family. The narrative biography she wrote about her parents for a family history course is a treasure.

I am so happy for her because she completed her degree. She is the best woman that I know. Her choices have blessed our family and hundreds of youth, missionaries, investigators, teachers, and neighbors. It was good to celebrate her life.

Variations on a Theme

 

DSC_9580 We have had many methods of listing jobs at our house. Most of the time I’ve written out the lists on bits of paper, but I am not very consistent. I decided it was time to do something new with our job lists.

My new job chart system had to

  • indicate levels of importance to help the kids prioritize,
  • incorporate large and small tasks, as well as daily and weekly tasks,
  • provide an incentive,
  • look pretty enough to keep in a prominent place in the kitchen.

I made about 50 magnets. The green magnets indicate personal scripture study. The white magnets indicate making beds and doing homework. Yellow and red are for music and dance. These colors remain constant each day and are placed in order of importance.

The dark blue and light blue tasks rotate. The dark blue tasks are “big jobs” and the light blue tasks are “little jobs”. Most days each child has one big job to do and one small job. The big jobs are things such as changing sheets or weeding. Little jobs are things such as emptying a rack of the dishwasher or picking up toys in a common area or putting away laundry. I don’t have personal hygiene items listed on the job chart. The kids seem to do pretty well with this without incentives or cute reminders.

When a job is completed, the kid turns the magnet upside down. This saves time. As for the incentive, each job completed is one point. Each night I add the points to a running total. When the kids collectively earn 100 points, I take them out to eat. The system is forgiving; I understand that some days are busier than others, so I put up fewer jobs. Also, if a child is swamped with school work, they know what jobs are most important and they work from left to right. If they don’t get one of the last jobs completed, no big deal. They know that they have done the most important things.

If there is a job that I don’t have a magnet for, I just put up the magnet that reads “Help Mom” and they ask me what to do.

So far, the kids and I really like this system.

If you are interested, here are the details of how I made it: The letters are stickers from the scrapbook aisle. The square magnet/dry erase board and easel are from Walmart. I made a list of the jobs that need to be done and ranked them according to importance, frequency, and size. I assigned colors for each category. I typed the jobs on bright circles of color and printed them on glossy photo paper. I cut out the circles, glued them to round magnets and then glued the glass stones on top. I used round magnets and epoxy.

DSC_9581The job chart came about because we had so much success with our family home evening chart which I made in September. Making crafty wall hangings is not my thing, but stretching myself to do this has really helped our family. There is accountability, fairness, and I LOVE the lessons that my children prepare. This chart has made our family home evenings a success. The jobs which rotate are Prayer, Song, Lesson, “Helper”, Conduct, & Treats.

I made the family home evening chart with vinyl rub-on letters which were not very forgiving. Stickers are definitely a better method for a beginner like me. The metal board with the frame was on clearance at Hobby Lobby.

These charts fulfilled personal progress goals that I am working on as a leader and a mother in Young Women.

Life Scout

DSC_9579 My good friend in Sahuarita introduced me to this ribbon to keep a mother’s Scouting pins. I think it is a great idea and I enjoy the memories when I see the little Bobcat pin, his Arrow of Light, and others. (I’m missing the First Class pin.) There is only one rank left for Daniel: Eagle. He’s considering several ideas for his project and he’s working on the BIG 3 required merit badges that take 3 months to complete.

DSC_9566Here is Daniel receiving his Life rank last week. I love the looks on the leaders’ faces. I’m grateful for what Scouting teaches Daniel. I am thankful for men who take so much time to be with the boys and for their families who faithfully send them off to camp each month.

Richard and I find that a common theme in our conversation lately is milestones completed. Soon Daniel won’t be going on campouts each month. Timothy completed his final Pinewood Derby. Paige is driving. College, high school, and big decisions are coming. I hope that they have enjoyed childhood. I love watching them grow, even though it means that they don’t need me as much anymore. The process of the children gaining independence doesn’t allow me to be a constant spectator, but I am here, perhaps less involved on a physical level, but more involved on a spiritual level. I’m praying for them all day long.

Reading and eating

I’ve been reading all weekend. I’m most happy when I’m in the middle of three or four books. This weekend, my selections were For Times of Trouble by Jeffrey R. Holland (for reflection); C.S. Lewis: A Biography by Roger Lancelyn Green and Walter Hooper (for more reflection); Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli (because I loved the author’s book, Stargirl); and Oddfellow’s Orphanage by Emily Winfield Martin (for its illustrations).

While I have been reading, the kids have been skiing, eating, resting in bed because they are sick, eating, reading, practicing music, eating, sledding down the driveway, eating, building snowmen, and (apparently) eating.

There is one orange, an apple, one piece of ham, and a couple of pieces of leftover lasagna in the refrigerator. The milk is nearly gone and the snacks in the pantry have been swept clean. You would never know that I went grocery shopping on Friday.

It’s been a little while since Timothy was mentioned

DSC_9092

Our Timothy is TEN, goes to Webelos, skiis, reads all of the time, plays piano smashingly, and continues to melt my heart every day.

Perhaps my favorite thing about Timothy these days is the way he greets me when I pick him up at school. No matter what, he’ll give me the biggest smile and hug, right in front of his friends, even if they are talking to him.

Without words, he says, “Excuse me, but I see my mom and I always give her a hug. Your story will just have to wait until tomorrow.” He gives me a hug and all of his attention shifts from his friends to me and Mark as we walk down the hill together.

I am incredibly proud of Timothy. He has made all of the transitions of the past  6 months with courage and smiles and unabashed hugs.

Thank you, Caroline Ingalls and Marilla Cuthbert

Practicing different songs at the same time!

I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but I have never read the Little House books. I have read a few of them, but I missed the overall experience along the way. I’m trying to read them straight through.

These books inspire me to cook things with gravy and cornmeal. They also remind me to be a better housekeeper. Caroline Ingalls and Mrs. Wilder belong in the same category as Marilla Cuthbert for excellent housekeeping. This is what I needed for January reading, since the house has collected a little clutter over the past month. I’ve completed all kinds of extra little jobs, inspired by these stories.

The kids are also getting whipped into shape after Christmas time sloth. They’re coming home to job lists because the best kind of people know how to work. I never give my kids chores. I give them jobs. The choice of names conveys an important message.

They all approach their jobs differently, but an incentive is important for my boys. Our incentives always involve screen time: computer, t.v., or Wii. They must really want to watch something today, because I just found Daniel and Timothy practicing different songs on two different instruments in the same room. I’ll let them get away with it today because they are sharing so nicely.

A little hike

Little Cottonwood Canyon is about 4 minutes from our house. I decided to take the kids on an introductory hike to see how things looked from higher up on the mountain.

The locals said it was easy and only a half a mile. Baloney. It was hard.

But like any good hike, there is a reward when you can’t go another step.

I let the kids walk around the reservoir while I curled up in the shade and cooled off.

It was a gorgeous place to rest.

I love going on adventures with my kids.

This weekend was such a gift. The kids had some days off from school and the weather was gorgeous. We saw cousins on two different days; Richard and I spoke in church; Paige played a piano solo in sacrament meeting. These have been really good days.

Innocence on September 11th

photo taken just days before September 11, 2001

Somehow it’s therapeutic to retell where we were when terrible events happened. I was home in Austin, Texas with little Paige and Daniel and a neighbor baby on the morning of September 11, 2001. As the news spread, another neighbor left her babies with me as she ran to the school to pick up her daughter. I gathered the five innocents on the little toddler bed in our school room and turned off the television that replayed events too terrible for them to see. I was grateful that our home was a safe haven for the children who were in my care that day. That evening I put on my Cub Scout uniform and spent time with the Cub Scouts, talking and listening, numb and sad, but feeling the pride of that American flag on the uniform. I have always felt grateful that I was surrounded by innocent children on that day.

 

Details vs. Vision

When people ask me, “So what are you going to do with all of that time now that you’re not home schooling?” I can’t agree that I have “all of that time.” In a related conversation, a mother of 6 in my ward, introducing herself, said, “I just stay at home.”

In my opinion, there is no “JUST” staying at home.

School, public or home, requires a lot from a parent. Raising children means doing most things with a lack of sleep, even when the baby years are over. It requires a lot of shopping. It involves renting instruments and buying music; there are trips to Scouts, ballet, and piano lessons. It’s getting up early to take them to seminary and staying up late waiting for them to come home from the dance. Good parenting is seeing that appropriate jobs are assigned and completed and that the family is exercising and eating healthy foods. It’s enforcing reading time and bedtime and limiting computer use. It’s saying no to sleepovers and inappropriate movies. Those are the details of parenting.

And then there is the vision part of parenting. It’s being aware of emotional, intellectual, social, spiritual, and physical needs. As children grow older, this becomes more complex. My best parenting takes place when I have a refrigerator full of food, a well-planned menu, and I have been reading my scriptures and saying my prayers. It’s at these times that I have the clearest vision of what my children need.

I prefer vision over details. I always have. So, with my extra hours in the morning, I will see that there is food in the refrigerator and that I’m maintaining my relationship with the Lord so I can have better understanding of His plan for us.

Someone suggested that when kids go to school it allows mothers to prepare themselves so they can be more present when their kids are home. I can’t completely agree because nothing comes automatically in family life. Just because I have time doesn’t mean I will use it well. Also, when I was home schooling, the Lord provided a way for me to do it all. I cooked our meals, cleaned our house, and at various times served as a Relief Society President, a primary teacher, a Cub Scout den leader, Cub Committee Chair, a member of a RS and Primary presidency, and a Young Women president… all while providing an education for my children.

During those home schooling years, Heavenly Father handled the vision and the details. And as I move forward, sometimes with teary eyes and heartache, I am trusting that this pattern will continue because I need just as much help as I did then.