Fitted to their talents

President Emily Freeman quoted Churchill last night in a devotional for youth, leaders, and parents about education.

I think the Lord taps us on the shoulder many times throughout our lives to help others based on our gifts and preparation. President Freeman’s words caused me to reflect on the times I needed to step up to do something special, unique to me, and fitted to my talents. Here are some of the things that came to my mind.

Mothering Paige, Daniel, Timothy, and Mark

Teaching homeschool

Speaking to congregations as a sister leader

Leading church and community groups

Writing family stories

Using my gift of listening

What positive things does this quote bring to your mind about your own unique contribution to the world?

Structuring home life with children

Over a year ago, someone asked me to write my advice for someone who was a new homeschooler. I haven’t talked about homeschool on this blog in many years, but I had an interesting moment this morning where I not only remembered this email, but felt a strong urge to post it here.

I think most of these points apply to anyone trying to structure home life with children, especially during the summer, so take what you need, and forget the rest.


1. Pray first thing as a family every day. Establish routines for start time, subjects, breaks, and lunch. Consider scripture time a daily subject.

2. Do things regularly with other families. It is good that kids play with children of all ages.

3. Choose a curriculum strong in language arts and math. Have a plan for the year, each month, week, and every day.

4. Steel yourself to criticism from those who don’t understand what you are accomplishing.

5. Go on dates with your husband without the kids.

6. Fill your house with books of all kinds and read, read, read together and independently.

7. Find a friend with whom you can share your experiences so school and children aren’t the only things you talk about with your husband.

8. Plan unstructured time for kids to explore their own interests. Their interests can propel their desire to read, write, and learn how to be proactive learners.

9. Celebrate achievements with certificates or stickers or whatever makes your kids happy. Don’t feel like you have to mirror a public school classroom with big charts, etc. You can do simple, meaningful things to track progress.

10. Go outside together or do crafts when things get too intense in the house.

11. Explore nature, go to museums, run and play, visit the elderly, take art classes, make collections together. Some of the best advice I received was to play with playdough with my children. Your children will need to help around the house, too. You can’t do everything yourself.

12. Look at every subject as a means to increase reading and writing skills.

13. Take pictures and cherish the time together. Don’t broadcast everything on social media. Honor your children’s privacy in learning and development.

14. Listen for and expect the Lord to lead you in small things and big things. Heavenly Father is even more interested in helping your children progress than you are, so be willing to accept answers that aren’t part of your original plan.

15. You can contact me if you want to talk. I was a homeschool mom for 14 years.


Art by Paige, around 2010

Monsters in the Margins

Mark had some great moments as a homeschool student. He said funny and clever things all the time. He also drew a lot of good pictures. These monsters and action scenes were drawn about 7 years ago in the margins of his math notebooks, but I am just getting around to displaying them. I cut them out, scanned them, and arranged them into a collage with my computer.

My favorite word lately is “curate,” as I am being mindful of what I keep and display. Now I think it would be cute to create a similar collage of artwork from each child. The art box is one of the last holdouts in my purge of homeschool papers.

Letting go

Our kids are well beyond the kindergarten stage, so why have I kept their school papers all these years?

Denial that they are grown and gone

Nostalgia for those sweet days with our kids

Avoiding emotions

These papers are proof that I accomplished something as a home educator.

NO MORE. This week I got rid of nearly all my children’s home school papers, saving just a few things that make my heart flip. I have emptied several shelves this week, yet somehow the bookcases are still full. My random piles of books are finding homes on the empty shelves, and I am gaining momentum in my ability to part with things.

Educating my children was a big part of my life, so this process of parting with papers is emotional. I have learned that most children are not sentimental about their school projects, so there is no need to save much. I know now that whatever I save is mainly for me. Understanding this has made the process much easier. I remind myself that I don’t need every writing sample, but I would like a few pages of each child’s writing and some special projects and art. This script made it possible for me to part with several armloads of paper and workbooks, which I lowered into the garbage can, carefully, as I would into a grave.

It occurs to me that keeping a small, curated collection is a greater tribute to these years than a bunch of binders bursting with paper.

After each session of cleaning, I comfort myself by reading or cross stitching. All these realizations and diversions help me to face the task of letting go.

I’m almost finished with this one. Do you recognize it? It is based on a Klimt painting called The Kiss. I love the colors.

Contrast

Art like this brings back memories of hearing these stories for the first time in the 1970’s from records and my mom reading from the illustrated Children’s Bible.

The story of Gideon is my favorite in the book of Judges. When I taught seminary, I remember shocking my early morning students by smashing a clay pot in my living room where we met, just like Gideon’s army smashed their pitchers. With trumpets, shattering pottery, lights, and voices, Gideon’s 300-man army surprised the host of sleeping enemies, “The sword of the Lord and of Gideon!” and their enemy was destroyed. This might have been the only day my students left seminary more awake than when they arrived, except maybe the day we cast “stones” at a life-sized mural of Goliath.

This week as I studied Gideon’s story, I focused on two contrasting verses during the exchange between the angel of the Lord and Gideon about his call to deliver Israel, verses 12 and 15.

The Lord sees Gideon as a mighty man of valor, while Gideon sees himself as poor and unimportant. Pretty much my only takeaway this week from Bible study is enough: God knows who we truly are, who we were before we came to earth, and who we can become. He sends messengers to remind us that He is with us.

I have had a few messengers in my life who have helped me live with courage. One was a friend named Jody who told me that I had the capacity to homeschool my kids. Bishops and stake presidencies have also been messengers of the Lord’s confidence in me, and reminded me that the Lord would be with me. Perhaps the most common messengers are the people who trust me to listen to them and help them. When a friend opens her heart to me, I see this is as a call to valor. Today, we help rescue Israel one by one

Memoir Project: Books!

The words I read to our children are part of our collective memory, and helped forge our identity as a family. Can you name the books that inspired the style of writing in this piece?

Austin, TX; Sahuarita, AZ; Sandy, UT 1997-2017

Books!

Four little children went for a walk in a wide, wide world. Through the house they clambered, down the hall, to the bookshelf, and to the couch. When they got to the couch, they counted themselves: one, two, three, four. There were no poky little children when it was time to read aloud at the Ross house.

In the great tan family room there was a television and a red broom. There were picture books about dog parties, kittens with mittens, a toy house, and Chrysanthemum the mouse. There was a brush (often unused) and bowl full of goldfish.

The kids took their places

With giggles, motions, and kicks,

And with hops and big thumps,

The kids chose their picks.

And I thought,

I love how they come near

To hear these old stories

Whispered softly in their ears.

If my mother could see this,

She would give a great cheer.

“Oh, you are not my mother…You are a Snort!” My thoughts are interrupted by laughter. And later, “Fire, fire!” The big trucks scream from the firehouse. Years go by, as we chant, “Oh, Mother dear, see here, see here, our mittens we have found!” and learn about the “no-no fruit.” What does the owl say? “Whooo. Whooo.”

One year, two years, fun years, short years pass. “Do you like my hat?” is replaced with, “Fifteen men on the Dead Man’s Chest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!” and Hobbit riddles in the dark with Gollum.

Then suddenly it was quiet. Slowly, dust settled on the picture books on the shelves. The smoke and steam cleared away, and there were four children all grown. Four children, neat and tall; four sets of legs, long and strong. And Mom and her books were left in the house. Hooray! Shouted the people! Hooray! Just look at the children grown! The time she spent reading to them felt like a very short day. Perhaps her girl and boys will have another good idea, “Why don’t we read just like this to our children someday?” So, it was decided, and everybody was happy. Now when you go to the Ross house, be sure to go down in the basement. There they’ll be, Mom and the books, she, sitting in her chair, with her books right beside her to welcome you back.

That’s the kind of house we lived in. And I hope you remember when you leave it.

 

 

 

(Creative license and/or quotes taken from The Poky Little Puppy, Goodnight Moon, Dr. Seuss, Are You My Mother?, Fire! Fire!, Three Little Kittens, My Baby and Me Story Bible, My First Book of Sounds, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, Go Dog. Go! Treasure Island, The Hobbit, Mike Mulligan and His Steamshovel, and There’s a Wocket in my Pocket.)

You get a car… and you get a car!

We learned very quickly that having four drivers, three jobs, and three schools was a real challenge in logistics for our family, so we bought another car. It’s like an episode of Oprah here. Not that I really watched that, but you know what I mean.

Richard finished work on our PUP trailer (notice my lingo) this weekend.

I re-shelved the school books on Friday through teary eyes. I will face the clean-out of elementary school books someday.

Daniel and Timothy have a penchant for finding funny YouTube videos to show our family, especially at bedtime when we all need to be doing other things.

Paige, the sous chef, is back and I love the company in the kitchen. Mark still excels at muffins and other breads. Timothy, growing tall rapidly, lingers at the stove each night, watching things simmer, pitifully hungry, asking when dinner will be served.

Timothy pines for a smart phone and refuses to carry his dumb/non-smart phone. No problem; every other human has one he can use to call home. Slight problem: we can’t get a hold of him. Timothy has always been very smart and determined. He will probably win soon. Don’t tell him that.

I am in the middle of reading 5 books again. I find this is the magic number of what I can’t handle. I look at the stack, can’t decide what to read, throw my hands in the air, and take a nap instead.

Memorial Day weekend was simply the most beautiful and perfect I have ever enjoyed. The weather, the neighbors’ yards, the flags at every house in sight, the memories, the neighbors’ children and grandchildren playing in the cul-de-sac, and good food made it wonderful. I spent an afternoon reading and napping beneath our trees. I love how our neighborhood comes alive this time of year.

Things I loved about last week:

  • going out for pizza with Mark and Paige
  • watching BBC’s War and Peace
  • discovering the Great British Baking show master classes
  • giving some time for a stranger and making a new friend
  • driving in a clean car
  • having a clean mud room and school room
  • helping my boys assemble furniture
  • planning adventures this summer

 

Our Aquarium

Mark and I have been studying ocean life, especially coral reefs in biology lately, so we made a trip to the aquarium down the street from our house.

Mark doesn’t believe anybody loves this kind of stuff more than the two of us. We take our time and watch the animals and read the signs. As we walked to our favorite part of the museum, he slipped his hand into mine and held it for a few seconds.

He loved the South American exhibit because they play drums over a speaker system as part of the tropical rainforest atmosphere. The rope bridge and the enormous fish and poison dart frogs are also big attractions there.

We love the penguins (hint: learn their names), rays, sharks, birds, leopards, and turtles. The snakes, tarantulas, and smelly Bearcats from Asia are lower on the list.

Today we get back to the books, but this day of field study will keep us smiling for a while.

Chocolate therapy

During the past week

  • We began the process for Mark to return to public school in the fall. It involved me dropping him off at the middle school for a tour and not being allowed to walk him to the cafeteria where it was to begin. I cry often about this transition. Do not talk to me about it, though. This is not something I will want to discuss with anyone. It’s a special kind of ignominy to place a child in public school after home school, even if it was always in the plan and we are not failing.
  • We picked up registration papers for Tim to begin high school in the fall.
  • Harvard contacted Daniel.
  • Mark and I made his last batch of Valentines. Elementary school is nearly over for us.
  • Mark thinks he wants to play the trumpet next year.