Motherhood – Page 44 – Letters from Home

Smile first.

Recently I watched a young child inch his way from the back of the room to the front to get closer to his mother during a meeting. He picked a spot on one of the front rows and gazed up at her, anticipating her return. As she walked to her seat, the child, obviously so anxious to be with his mother uttered a little, “Mama,” hoping for a hug and a joyful reunion. She was embarrassed and upset with him. As she picked him up, he read all of her signs and began to cry. She wasn’t happy to see him waiting for her on the front row, after all.

This person did something that is easy for us to do: we forget to smile first.

I’m feeling a bit forlorn today because I have to leave my boys for a few days. It makes me wish that I’d had more time to love them before I have to leave. I’ve spent the day folding their newly washed clothes and helping them plan a menu and shop for goodies. What I wish I could do is spend the day playing games with them. Circumstances have made that impossible. But maybe you could think of this mom today and remember to accept your children and not worry about things that don’t matter… especially what “other people might think” of your parenting if you decide to smile at them first and correct them later.

A letter to my Kindergarten boy

Dear Mark,

I am so proud of you. You have had a great Kindergarten year! Sometimes people can’t remember Kindergarten very well. Here are some things that I remember about this special year in your life.

Here's how you look when you're happy in the woods.

You came with us on all of our hikes and you were filled with wonder.

I like how you always help out when we make things in the kitchen.

Remember how we helped you learn your math facts? You learned them so well!

You had good times outside with the dog.

You painted a lot of sunsets. You are good at that!

You worked hard to learn how to write your letters well.

You learned a scary lesson when you got lost: "Stay with the pack!"

You saw the Hoover Dam from the bridge that shook with each passing car.

We didn't think you cared, but months later when we were talking about Geronimo, you said, "I saw his rifle!"

You did a good job in art class. Here is the day you made a mosaic with tiles.

Here is your mosaic. It's a sunset, of course!

T-ball was an important milestone for you.

You have a nifty red helmet and bat and you played really well!

Some mornings you did school in your pajamas, and that's kind of fun, isn't it?

You worked hard each Saturday to earn some time on the Wii.

You made a goal to read the Boxcar Children and you did it!

You have been such a smart, dedicated, and happy student. I love you!

I know you are looking forward to adding history and spelling to your subjects next year. You will be a great first grader! I love you, I love you, XOXOXOX -Mom

Happy Mothers Day from the Kids

Piano: Paige. Vocals: Daniel (harmony), Timothy, and Mark

Frontier

Each of us lives to forge a path through a frontier, a place no one has traveled. I don’t count myself as unique in my feelings, but it feels a bit lonely in my frontier today. Motherhood has always felt like parting curtain after curtain over vistas I could barely imagine. Paige has been the little pioneer who has borne the task of living the results of my reactions to each new vista.

I realized this week that my vision for my children during the past few years hasn’t stretched much past the age of 15. We’ve passed that ridge and now I feel more than a little suspended. I don’t want Paige to feel as suspended as I do. To whom can I talk? I worked for years to build a community among home educators here, but as the years have passed, Paige and Daniel’s age group has dwindled. In our church congregation I am one of the oldest mothers. Paige has no one her age who attends church. She never complains. I just keep telling her that Heavenly Father knows where she lives and that it will all work out. My question, through my certain knowledge of God’s hand in our lives is, “What do we do now?”

I feel a little jump of excitement inside for whatever is next. We’ll figure it out like we always do, remembering that Heavenly Father knows where we are.

Celebrate

Do you keep a treasure box of precious notes? I have a box in my closet filled with sweet gifts and cards from my children. My favorite are the spontaneous, misspelled notes which they obviously created themselves with no editor overstepping the bounds of their devotion.

It seems that only children have the courage to try to put their love into poetry. Should it be this way? Shouldn’t we be braver as we age, matching our growing appreciation with a little bit of sentiment? I believe that mothers’ acts of love help give us the capacity to love others because they are the best messengers to carry a portion of God’s love for us.

Let’s celebrate that, and be courageous in our gestures of gratitude.

What to do?

It’s Sunday, and that usually means extra church meetings for Richard and me. But today is special because it’s a rare, unscheduled 5th Sunday.

What to do?

I think I’ll take some time and reflect about the week. It was a big week.

The mornings brought seminary, school, visitors, and a trip to Tucson for some scriptures.

The afternoons involved more school, violin teaching, a bike ride with friends, grocery shopping, cleaning, playing with friends, a birthday party, and Piano Guild Auditions.

In the evenings, we had 4 baseball games, 2 practices, 3 ballet classes, one night working with the missionaries, Scout meetings, a Young Women activity, and one night out to dinner to celebrate the end of Piano Guild auditions. We had a youth temple trip all day on Saturday.

What do all of these activities have in common?

They produced a lot of laundry, my magnum opus.

I’ve learned that doing laundry provides a special key to knowledge about my family. As I empty pockets, I discover what is important to my little people. I see who played outside on the grass enough (I don’t hate grass stains. I encourage them.) and who needs to shower more often. I see evidence of baseball feats of skill, ballet workouts, weight training, bicycling (Love those mud stains up the back of the shirts…), and dirt play (which I also encourage). I can’t say that I love doing laundry, but I take pride in doing it and caring for our clothing.

We wear many clothes and play many roles, and it was a happy family reunion on Friday when our schedules eventually collided and we all met at the restaurant to celebrate a year of piano effort. The kids were dressed up in their Sunday best. Mark’s face was probably a bit sticky from birthday party food, I looked a bit bedraggled, and Richard was clad in his work outfit.

After a Saturday evening laundry marathon, the piles of laundry are neatly folded in their baskets and they smell fresh. It was a good week and now I get to enjoy this day of rest.

I’ll choose these memories

Last week I had sad news from extended family and weird challenges sprang up around me. I felt heavy and sorrowful. On the other hand, I had good news, too, and there were opportunities for me to serve and feel needed and this made me happy.

Someday when I look back at this time in my life it will be a smudged, incoherent image because of all of the activity, but I will work to see that the good memories will rise up and be more prominent than the bad.

I will remember how Mark’s little drawings cheer me. I will remember the love I feel for the people around me, of the fun times with the Young Women playing black light volleyball and hearing them sing.

I’ll remember how I much I enjoy Richard’s dinners from the grill and chats with him during a baseball game. I’ll think of the way Timothy twirls his hair when he reads to me and how Daniel looks when he’s acting grown up and unselfish. I will remember the way the little ballerinas watch Paige sweep into the dance studio and how she smiles when Richard teases her.

I’ll remember the good people who serve my family in the community, sports, and church.

I will be grateful for a husband who lets me sleep in and remembers to kiss me goodbye every morning.

The difficult things will just serve as a counterpoint, essential in emphasizing the good and forming character, but they won’t take a prominent place on the mantel.

Now I’m going to get back to work.

A supplement idea for a boy’s curriculum

Years ago a home school friend told me how amazing the Cub Scout and Boy Scout programs are as an educational tool. I never thought much about it until a few months ago when Timothy came up to me and told me that he wanted to earn his Bear Cub Scout rank faster than he had earned his Wolf. He had a plan for when he would work on it. He figured that since he was only required to write 3 journal entries a week, he could use the other 2 days normally dedicated to journal time to focus on Cub Scout requirements.

I love the initiative he showed here. We’ve been following his plan to work twice a week on Cub Scouts outside his normal Cub Scout meetings. Timothy is not my first Cub Scout, but I have discovered that my hesitant writer and artist will tackle all kinds of projects for scouts that he wouldn’t want to tackle if it were just for school.

I discovered that the requirements for our English program mirror some of the Cub Scout requirements to write a report and compose letters. The historical characters and locations tie in to our history studies. It’s a good supplement and Timothy likes the little badges and belt loops.

I have discovered that the Scouting program for older boys is also very good because it teaches Daniel to take the initiative and I like that a mentor (a merit badge counselor) helps him through each merit badge. Writing, leadership, reading, and research are great supplemental activities to what I try to teach at school, and you can’t beat the incentive of merit badges.

Which reminds me, I am very behind in attaching all of those merit badges. Scouting keeps me on my toes, too, which is why I fully deserve those mother’s pins they give out when a boy achieves a rank.

Ideas and objects, spirit and body

This may not resonate with anyone but me, but this is what I have observed: when I’m faced with a big idea or task, the tiny actions of the day can take on more meaning. Menial tasks somehow create a focus to help me face the bigger dilemma. My unhurried mind, taking a break during the task, more easily comes up with solutions.

I recently reread a book about feminine psychology as it is expressed in mythology. One of the lessons from the myth of Psyche was that sorting objects is one of the best strategies that women can employ when they are faced with a challenge.

Maybe there is a link between sorting objects and sorting ideas. One can’t find meaning for either if they are done independently. Our minds must work, but so must our bodies because we are dual beings, spirit and body.

I’m focusing on my homemaking tasks and grading papers. I am taking moments here and there to study and pray. It’s a good process for me and I count it as one of my greatest blessings that I have the freedom to do it. I am grateful to Richard for providing me with a lifestyle that allows for my creativity, education, personal advancement and fulfillment. My life includes long days of sorting socks, organizing closets, and building machines for my children to experience physics while I think about things.

I hope your sorting of ideas and objects helps you find meaning today.

The Diner

Last night we ate dinner in 5 shifts. Although I prepared a hearty white chicken chili and cornbread, this is what the family ate between trips to ballet and the ball park:

5:00:

Daniel: ham and cheese sandwich

5:30:

Angie: chili, cornbread, strawberries
Richard: warm fudge bars from a friend

6:15:

Tim: tortilla with cheese, milk
Mark: two cornbread muffins with honey butter, milk

7:30:

Paige: chili, cornbread, strawberries, brownie
Mark: brownie; bowl of Cheerios

9:30:

Richard: chili, cornbread, brownie
Daniel: strawberry yogurt, granola

We do a little better in the nutrition department when we eat together.