Bells, piano keys, hymns, Relief Society, symphony, art, and black socks

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It was a week of music for our family. We watched Daniel play in his first bell choir concert. His current bell assignment is to play some of the big bass bells. He says playing these bells is like pouring out a full gallon of milk with each note, your wrist and forearms carefully managing the weight. In other words, they are heavy. I felt Christmas drift through the air as they played, even though these weren’t Christmas pieces. December will be a busy month for bells and they will be playing at Temple Square. I am really looking forward to that.

The boys had a piano recital. Daniel played Preludium in E minor by Felix Mendelssohn. Timothy played Little Story by Sergei Prokofieff. Mark played Etude in A minor by Dmitri Kabalevsky. (Like those names mean anything…) I know the pieces just by the tunes. I rarely learn the names and composers, but I sing along in my head to every piece, well-learned by echoes moving through the house at all hours.

I did Relief Society things. Lots of that, but the specific lessons I am learning and the heartache and loneliness that I am exposed to is part of a private journey that I am taking with some sisters. We can all be more aware of, prayerful, and helpful to others.

In general, I spoke at a Relief Society meeting, participated in a ward council meeting, and presented specific ways to involve women in decisions and discussions and how to improve in ministering to others; I also counseled with the Bishop in a private meeting. I wrote, helped set up tables, washed linens, baked, and cooked. I texted, wrote letters, and talked on the phone. I hugged people who were crying and received counsel about how to do things better. I visited a sister late one night. I listened and admired. I thought hard and made plans. I used my calligraphy skills. I drew strength from scripture study and prayer and hugs from Richard. Please don’t think I am bragging. I am painting a picture of our life. I am not unique in what I do.

On Saturday Richard and I joined my sister Sarah and her husband Bryan for dinner at Lamb’s and the symphony.

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Daniel played the organ in church on Sunday. A sister on our row in church lifted her infant son dressed in a flannel shirt and I remembered Daniel at that age wearing a flannel shirt. I looked at the contrast between this infant and Daniel at the organ and marveled at the time that has passed without effort. I held that tall young man in my arms not so long ago.

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We visited Paige for a few minutes on Sunday night and as always I asked to see some of her art. This was one of her doodles-in-progress, not for an art class. She is critical of it, but there is LIFE in this drawing. I had to share it.

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Also, even her scrap pieces of paper with color gradations and paint mixes could be hung on the wall. I smile every time I visit the dorms because the windows and walls are more decorated each time. Twinkle lights, banners, flags representing mission calls to other countries, and little touches of homemaking are creeping into each unit.

And finally, there is Timothy, who goes to school in the dark early hours for jazz band practice. I bought him some new black shoes and black socks to wear with shorts because that’s what you wear now, at least in middle school. It looked strange at first, like they forgot to change out of their dress socks, but I’m good with it now.

Oh, and Halloween is this Saturday and Mark and I have not made any progress on his costume. Aaack!

This post might be TMI but I don’t feel like editing out pieces of our story today like I usually do.

I made cookies

 

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I made these cookies yesterday because I wanted to. I took pictures because it’s a rare treat for me to sit down and decorate fancy cookies. The temple cookies are decorated with royal icing but the autumn cookies have buttercream frosting which isn’t pretty but tastes so much better.

My faithful companion

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I felt sluggish today so I hitched a ride on Mark’s enthusiasm for getting things done. I cleaned when he cleaned. I practiced the violin when he practiced the piano. I studied and wrote while he worked on school. He’s a great companion and help to me. I’m so grateful for him. In this picture he’s tied himself to the chair to keep from getting up and playing with the Legos on the floor by his desk. Now that’s self discipline!

Goblin Valley

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The boys were mountain goats. I don’t know how they had the energy to climb all day long. We loved the hike through Little Wild Horse Canyon which had slot canyons one after another, each with its own look and colors.

My floppy hat has flopped through its last trip. It’s time for a new one. I’ve said this before, though. This trip was not the same without Paige. Someone said you never stop missing them; you just get used to it. I’m not there yet. Regardless, the boys were super fun and Richard gave his all to make the trip a success, as usual. It’s good to be in this family.

Anything but…

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I am working on getting rid of a bad habit. Whenever I am tempted to run to that familiar pattern, I try to do something else. “Do anything but [my bad habit],” I tell myself. This means that I give myself permission to do any wonderful thing that I want.

This weekend I stitched this doll to keep me from falling back to my bad habit. I did other things, too, but it’s nice to have something positive to show for my battle.

No regrets

I finished a book this week about the impact that different women have made on the world. One of the women in the book was Mother Theresa. It wasn’t the many deeds of service that she did that made the biggest impression on me. It was her words about sometimes feeling distant from God as she did good works. I have felt that way this week and other times.

In my life I expect that service and scripture study will make me feel light and happy, but that doesn’t always happen. I have learned that if we want to become like the Savior, it means that we will have days where we become acquainted with grief, a little like the Savior, who was also a “man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.” And that feeling of distance from God may not always be a feeling of distance. Perhaps at times it’s a closeness to what He feels for his children, and sometimes that is grief. Of course there is always a distance between me and God, and this leads me to see how much I need the gift of grace.

I have no regrets for my time spent in the scriptures and service, even if I don’t always feel warm and fuzzy about it. I DO have regrets about my time spent doing frivolous things. 24 hours really is a lot of time each day to get things done. How much time I waste, worrying what other people think of me and following news that isn’t important!

Show and Tell

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We’ve given our hearts to many projects this week. Mark and Richard spent every evening and all day one day working on a pinewood derby car. I once went to a fireside by Noelle Picus-Pace where she talked about coming in 4th place a the Olympics and how you almost want any place but 4th. That’s the situation that Richard and Mark faced last night. Mark didn’t understand how the race was decided, and knowing that he had won all of his races, he thought he had won first place. We tried to explain that it was all about time, but in his mind, he was going to win the grand prize. He was brave, but I watched his heart break when his name wasn’t read. I watched his heart break over and over as he tried to understand what had happened. I know it’s good for kids to learn to cope with disappointment, but it hurts to watch it.

On a lighter note, Timothy played some great baseball this week and he and a partner made a model of an atom. I have never seen students take the electron cloud so literally, but I like it.

And I made quilt squares. I haven’t perfected the art of sewing a “scant” 1/4 inch seam, so 7 of my 9 squares are too small. Surprisingly, I am not too flummoxed about this. I am leaning toward just starting over rather than reworking seven more squares. It’s a good project for me, because the seams are just a few inches and I can step away and come back. Instead of long stretches of time, I have many 15-minute intervals of time in my days. I have a sewing room, so I can walk in and out of my project without having to clean up.

The project room for the rest of the family is the kitchen, and it’s a big mess. Someday I will miss the projects strewn all over the hearth, island, table, and computer desk, but today I am just getting up the courage to face it.

My Daisy

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We salvaged many tiles. In this picture, they hadn’t been cleaned yet, but my daisy tile is to the right of center.

Last year we stopped at my parents’ round cabin in Spring Lake to say goodbye to it before it was torn down. It was late afternoon, cool and overcast. The house, no longer locked, was just a frame and some windows. All of the drywall and wiring had been taken out and demolition of the shell would begin the next week.

The only light in the house came through the windows and we could see pieces of the original construction, long hidden by carpets, drywall, and paint. I spied some tile, probably from the 1920’s arranged in a circle on the floor around the central post of the house. An intricate fish bone pattern of wood surrounded the circular pattern of tiles. I leaned down and studied the designs on the floor, which had been covered by industrial carpeting all these years. Mixed into the tile pattern were some 2×2-inch navy blue tiles with a raised daisy in each center. Daisies had been in the floor beneath our feet! I knew right away that I wanted one of those daisy tiles as a souvenir.

I found a hammer and began to chisel around a tile, only to see it crumble with my efforts to pull it up. I saw that others had had tried to harvest daisy tiles, too, because many were chipped and broken.

I really wanted to salvage some of these tiles before the cabin was destroyed. But I needed to work carefully, slowly, and patiently to extract them from their long-held positions in the cement. Large force was the worst thing I could apply, and I learned that I wouldn’t be able to salvage many in the time I had. Finally, with careful effort, I was able to pull one tile from the pretty floor, mostly intact. It is special to me.

I keep my daisy tile in a frame to remind me of the cabin, but also to be patient with myself and others. It reminds me that love must accompany any kind of rescue, or patience will fail, harming the one being rescued. It’s a reminder to focus on the beauty of people, not the deep-seated habits or ideas which hold them down. And it reminds me that each person is precious and worth the effort.

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