Category: Life according to Angela

Let’s learn something from the “selfie” generation

Soon after my call to be a Relief Society president, I felt the need to compile a photo directory for the women in my congregation. Many sisters don’t know one another. I didn’t know many of them! We began taking photos in August during activities. I asked Tiffany, who is fearless and has a nice camera, to lead out. I had no idea what a challenge this project would be. In the end, Tiffany, my presidency (Charlene, Cindy, and Kristy), and I had to really extend ourselves to make this happen.

Most women in my congregation, bless their hearts, love every one, are not of the selfie generation. Every photo in this directory, minus a small handful and those I stole from Facebook, seemed to invoke real pain in the person being photographed.

“Can you wait until I lose 20 pounds?” asked more than one sister.

“Let’s just not do this. No, I don’t take photographs.”

“No, please don’t take my picture. And no, I don’t have any photos of myself in my phone that I can send you.”

“I hate that photo of myself.”

“You will NOT use that photo of me. I’m sending you a different one.”

“<silence>” when I begged via email, text, and in person.

To confess, I didn’t love looking at my photo in the directory either. But with each text or email I received with a photo attached I felt celebration well up within me. As I compiled the document on my computer, I had a powerful experience. These women are beautiful! They are each so unique and talented. How I admire each of them. Looking at their pictures all together I felt swept away by how much strength I saw.

Yesterday when we handed out the directories at church, all I heard was how the sisters hated their individual photographs. As disappointing as this is, I still feel a surge of power and love when I look into their faces in the directory. I think they will, too, once the shock of seeing their individual photographs goes away.

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What can we learn from the “selfie” generation? We can learn to not take ourselves so seriously. When we smile for a photograph, we are sharing light. You can see it, can’t you?

Christmas cheer

I don’t have much to say about last week, which included a death in the family, a basement flood, a canceled vacation to visit family, a funeral, and blizzards to drive through, except that we are still smiling. The role of the Savior in our lives has everything to do with it.

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I shopped for religious, non-photo Christmas cards in many places this year. Most were too expensive for my budget. I read recently that we should reevaluate how we use our family pictures as Christmas cards. Sometimes a person in mourning doesn’t want to see a smiling, complete family in a Christmas card. And if we are celebrating Christmas, where is the Savior in such a card? I have decided that the Savior is in our smiles. He is in the growth that we have accomplished during the year. He is in the beauty of the surroundings, and the source of joy in our lives. Truly, we smile because of Him.

Merry Christmas, dear readers. Smile, give cheer, and rejoice. The Savior lives.

Grandpa

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I was blessed to have 41 years of time with my Grandpa Stewart. I will miss my grandpa’s deep blue eyes, funny stories, requests for violin music, boots, and the way he always talked about his wife JoAnn. On the night that he died, I lay in bed awake, remembering his voice speaking her name, again and again over the years. Oh, how he loved her! That’s my favorite part of who he was…and is.

Life Hacks

Our Relief Society is doing an activity later in 2016 entitled, “Life Hacks.” The sisters will be invited to share things that they do to make their lives better.

I can’t stop thinking about this concept. I definitely have some life hacks that work for me. And that’s the thing to remember: strategies that work for me won’t work for others. Here is a list of some of my favorite life hacks:

have a plan and make lists, but try to remain flexible with expectations.

try to always be creating something, whether it is a piece of writing, art, craft, sewing project, violin program, or food.

watch almost no television and have a carefully curated collection of movies to watch.

keep a record in a journal and other places.

get dressed every day even if I am not going out.

try to always be reading something.

don’t weigh myself on a bathroom scale and do try to listen to my body for clues about what to eat and how much to eat. If I feel like eating for emotional reasons, I try to chew gum instead.

give gifts to strangers sometimes.

listen to Christmas music in January. I need it most then.

remember my ancestors often and wear jewelry or clothing almost daily that belonged to them.

avoid using my smartphone when I am with Richard.

keep a 3-ring binder full of page protectors for each child in the kitchen. When they bring home important papers, certificates, cards, etc. I put them in their binders. I also keep a binder labeled by the year to collect family papers for the scrapbook.

plan things with the family that aren’t child-centered. Not everything we do has to be about the kids.

 

Aquarium

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The jellyfish were my favorites

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Mark and I had another Friday of wonder together. I love aquariums, so I can’t believe it took us this long to see the aquarium down the street. I found myself on the floor in my dress, trying to spy new creatures and I also inadvertently dipped my coat sleeve in the water in an attempt to touch a ray as it swam past me. How childish to forget my coat for such an opportunity. How fun.

Mark and I have been working on having adventures this year as part of our study of Utah. I never went to 4th grade, so I missed out on Utah studies. I’ve felt this loss of a proper Utah education every time someone mentions a county in Utah and I have no idea where it is. Well, we are fixing this, one field trip at a time. The past two weeks we have focused on things closer to home. However, we have traveled to some interesting places this year. Mark has a map that we populate with photos in the shapes of the counties he has visited in 4th grade. We have more pictures to put on the map, but you get the idea.

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To the Children of my Relief Society sisters over the years

Child,

Do you know that your parents’ concern

Is ever about you?

On the sickbed, unable to stand, a mother signals,

“Find that poem about my child and share it with Angela.”

The poem is printed on her child’s funeral program.

It sits near her mother’s bedside.

Another sits on her father’s desk, accessible with the right hand.

 

Child,

Your mother’s heart breaks for you.

Even gestures from close friends are too painful for her to bear.

You don’t see it, nor can you:

Her house is closed,

A mirror to your lonely place.

 

Child,

You left and she didn’t know she could go on.

You were her reason for living for so long.

She is finding strength on her own now, and she is radiant.

Moving forward, she keeps pace with you, hundreds of miles away.

And oh, time goes so slowly!

 

Child,

With love your mother allows you to come back home.

You are wounded, not healing, and raw.

You don’t tell her how you really feel;

Somehow all the words you can say are hurtful.

She knows her love is not enough to heal you;

And prays that you will find your true Savior.

 

Child,

We gave your mother a quilt today

To help her to know that we remember you, too.

She places it on her lap

And tells us of a tree planted in your honor:

The soldier who didn’t come home.

She will remember you long after the tree is gone,

The infant face, the boyish tricks, and songs from a teen–

Woven together in every contour of her heart.

 

Child,

You left today on an errand for the Lord,

I came to your mother

And she was crying, but she will be fine.

You are doing the thing that will make her happiest.

I will watch over her until you come home again

And can hug her yourself.

 

Child,

You are beautiful in your wedding clothes.

Your mother, tired from preparations, looks radiant.

She will put her feet up tonight, cry a few tears, and smile.

And as ever,

You will be the instrument drawing her thoughts to the future.

For mothers of faith, the future always includes you, Child.

No matter what.

 

Wow!

 

Constable landscape

I saw my first Monet painting with Richard and Mark. We visited the British Landscapes exhibit at the Utah Museum of Fine Art. (All images are from their website.) At one point during the exhibit, Mark asked if he should stop saying, “Wow!” all of the time. “No,” I replied. “This is why I brought you to the museum with me.”