Letters from Home – Page 145 – A blog by Angela Ross

20 Activity Pins and a Bridge

Timothy is a “Webelos Super Achiever” because he earned every activity pin. We are pretty proud of him! We attended his last Cub Scout Pack Meeting last week.

He walked across the bridge to Boy Scouts…

and got to sign his name on the bridge.

I enjoy seeing the older version of Timothy’s personality emerging through his work in scouting, piano, school, and among friends. He LOVES to ski. He would go every weekend if he could. He plows through the books. His bedroom is decorated with Hobbit-themed Lego sets. We like him quite a bit.

Stymied

Can’t… come… up… with… content. Sorry, family and friends. I have nothing palatable to write this week. I’ve been trying to write a thoughtful post for days, but I feel stymied.

Is it because I have been reading Tolstoy and feel my lack more deeply than usual?

Is it because I am trying to wrap my head around the new year?

Is it because I am so busy trying to get physical things in order at the house that I can’t write?

Is it because what I feel like writing about is too personal?

Is it because my internet has been wonky this week? (If wonky isn’t a word, it should be. It describes our internet service perfectly.)

It’s all of those things and probably more.

Here are some photos of what I have been doing this week. Hey, my life is boring, but it’s mine and I love it.

IMG_20140116_145814 — One day I went through all of the boys’ clothing and placed size labels on each hand-me-down. Apparently I do NOT need any more size 8 pants for boys. I feel defeated by clothing. Daniel’s current rate of growth means he wears something for only a few weeks and then it’s too short. Keeping him in adequate Sunday pants is too much for me, apparently.

IMG_20140116_145925 — Our current filing system just wasn’t working for us, (stashed beneath our bed on a box top which we would slide out when necessary) so this week I fixed that.

IMG_20140116_150041 — This may seem trivial, but I have gained a testimony of labeled photos, having worked on two significant family history projects this year. I labeled our photos this week and felt old doing it. Where have my babies gone?

IMG_20140116_150136 — I updated the photos on the refrigerator and put smiles on my children’s faces by doing it. I now have all of the new family members represented on the refrigerator and some highlights from 2013 to cheer us. I love my photo-laden refrigerator. It keeps me company.

IMG_20140116_150111 — I decorated the mantel and shelves in my kitchen. Oh, the clean, fresh start that January gives to us! I love how uncluttered things feel at this moment. Of course I loved every Christmas card and decoration that we had on these spaces a month ago, but the change is good.

IMG_20140116_150216 — Have I ever posted a picture of my food storage room? It’s one of my favorite corners of the house. Having food is comforting and it takes work. I shop often so I can keep these shelves full. This week I bought oodles of cereal, sugar, and crackers. I have one can of Spam, but I can’t bring myself to serve it. I bought it in 2008.

IMG_20140116_150444 — I went to IKEA with my sisters and mom the other day and bought some textiles. This is Mark’s new rug. I like it so much.

IMG_20140116_150508 — I have been working on the 2013 scrapbook. I’m terribly proud of it.

IMG_20140116_150522 — I had forgotten that we went to San Francisco. How does someone forget San Francisco? It’s good to revisit those memories. That was a good day.

Well, I feel better for the sharing. Not sure if you’ll benefit from any of this, but it was good therapy for me.

Mark’s quotes of the week

Overheard as he played a computer game:

“With friends like that, who needs enemies?”

When I picked him up from piano lessons, he asked me this important question:

“Mom, what would you have done with me if I had been a mutant?”

I replied, “I would have kept you, of course.”

“I was hoping you would have given me to the X-Men.”

Inheritance

When my Aunt Susan passed away last spring without a real goodbye or memorial service, I had thoughts and feelings that felt like orphans. I was confused and sad and there was no place for me to share those feelings. Then I was invited to her apartment and given almost all of her clothing.

We feel guilty when we do things that make it seem like we are moving on. Suddenly I was assuming her fabulous wardrobe and trying to make it my own. My Uncle Dwight said that it was so difficult for him to see all of her things leaving her apartment, but he knew that she would want her things to go to family. For me, this trip to her apartment was a chance to say goodbye to this much adored aunt.

It took me a while to feel comfortable wearing her clothes. Her perfume or a business card in a pocket would make me sad.

I’ve shared that I love her clothes, but it’s not just because the jackets are beautiful. It’s also because they remind me of her. My aunt brightened every room she visited. She got excited about people and accomplishments and loved to commemorate special events. I think of her when I put on one of her jackets and I wonder how she would face my day.

As a tribute to her, I thought that I would list some of the special events in the past year in which thoughts of her have accompanied me as I have worn her clothing.

Susan was there to celebrate many big occasions in my life. I’ve celebrated many things wearing her clothes this year. Timothy pinned a mothers pin to one of her jackets when he earned his Arrow of Light. Her clothes have been to concerts, an honor society induction ceremony, and baseball games.

Susan did work for a foundation to benefit schools. I have worn her jackets, blouses, pants, and jewelry to visit classrooms twice a week at our local elementary school. I think she would be happy to know that.

It’s fun to wear some of her more whimsical things when I teach the Young Women.

A special sweater has come along to a girls’ lunch with my sisters and a good visit with my parents in the fall. She loved family gatherings.

For my birthday, I dressed in her red ruffled plaid blouse and a red jacket when I went on a date with my two favorite men, Richard and my dad. Susan loved to go to restaurants and celebrate life.

She was with me when I went Christmas shopping. Wearing her gray jacket and carrying one of her purses, I remembered how she loved giving gifts.

Whenever I think of parties, her’s are the standard. I wore her velvet jacket when I hosted our big Christmas party.

This year, as memories of her have accompanied me everywhere, I have been reminded to be more courageous in my writing, speech, and music; more generous in my praise of others, and more willing to enjoy life. It’s a beautiful inheritance.

Siblings

My brothers say that I was a domineering big sister. I guess if hugs are any indication, I probably was. Look at that grip on Paul’s neck! Look at him struggling for breath while trying to smile with his thumb up for the camera! I don’t think I am domineering anymore. In fact, most of my siblings have made huge changes in their personalities as they have gotten older.

Joe was always the center of attention. Now he is quiet and intense. Paul lived in Joe’s shadow, but now he is more outgoing. My brother Matt hated school and we wondered if he would graduate. He now has a PhD. One of my sisters believed that she was a dog for a few years. She is way over that now. 😉

I think about sibling dynamics all of the time. The oldest child, or oldest child of each gender often feels more responsibility toward siblings. Richard is not the oldest, but he has many characteristics of an oldest child because he is the oldest brother. When we have family gatherings, sibling dynamics continue to be in play and influence behavior.

When I think back to my childhood, I see that my brothers and sisters were so influential in the formation of my sense of responsibility. Through relationships with them, I learned what it means to love faithfully. I would quarrel with my brothers, but avoided speaking negatively about them with others.

I recently watched some old home movies from 30 years ago. I was trying to play the piano, but my brothers were banging on the keys and making faces, one covering his ears in agony. I put up with a lot. Perhaps if the camera hadn’t been rolling, I would have shouted at them.

In one of the early home videos that Richard and I made, I discovered that Daniel did the SAME THING to Paige as she played piano as my brothers did to me. Too funny.

I study the relationships among my own children and smile at their steadiness, but also their evolution. Paige and Daniel have always been good to each other. Timothy and Mark like to clash, but they have become best friends over the past year or so. As a parent, it’s difficult not to allow sibling order to influence the way I treat them. I work hard to not ignore the middle children in my family, but I’m doing a lousy job not spoiling my baby. All well. What can you do? It seems that sibling dynamics are greater than any one person can overcome.

Angels We Have Heard

I keep a copy of this photo close by. My great-grandmother is on the far right. My great-great grandmother is on the far left. My grandmother is the little girl.

I keep this photo for several reasons.

It’s a gathering of the powerful Howard women.
The hats
My great-grandmother (far right) looks so superior, and she WAS.

I wrote the following post a few weeks ago, but I have been afraid to post it for a few reasons.

I don’t want you to see how self-centered and insecure I can be.
I don’t want you to read too much into the angels thing. I believe in angels and they have a work to accomplish, but I’m not obsessed with the doctrine.
It’s *another* post about how scared I am to play the violin at church.

You can read it or skip it. If you don’t like it, that’s ok because I’m pretty sure all of these women in the photo have my back and they think that I am darling.

The Post I Was Hesitant to Publish goes like this:

We attended a party one day before the big church Christmas program in which I was to play the violin. As the entertainment for the party a violin professor with a PhD in violin performance played for us.

It’s not logical and it’s immature, but my confidence plummeted after hearing this violinist.

The next day I was moody and I had a bad rehearsal. How was I going to get my head back together so I could play that evening?

Then came the angels. They were people in my church congregation who stopped me in different settings throughout the day.

“What have you read lately?” one person asked, initiating a discussion that we began earlier this year. Our conversation turned to talents and gifts versus faith as we serve God. He said something like, “God uses people because of their faith, not necessarily their gifts.” This was something I needed to hear. He was the angel sent to remind me to have the faith to be an instrument, and not focus on proficiency alone.

All day people from the choir for whom I was playing the accompaniment were so kind and encouraging.These were the angels who lifted me over my insecurities.

Just before the performance, I ran into my friend who played Tevye in the production of Fiddler on the Roof earlier this year when I got to be the fiddler. We laughed over the adventures of that show. Here was the angel who got my mind off my troubles.

I asked Richard to sit near me while I played, just off to the side. His presence was angelic and helpful. My mom and Paige sat in the congregation and gave me another reason to play my best. Daniel, who was singing in the choir, always gives me a private encouragement before I play. It’s a tender gesture that always goes to my heart.

There were also probably unseen angels who helped me to play without shaking.

I cringe at this fear and weakness that I show when I have to play, but I have learned about faith, true friends, and angels through these experiences of working through it. Someday I’ll be able to get over myself.

The performance came and went. I played and it was just fine… not perfect, but sufficient. Looking back, how could it have been otherwise with such a team rooting for me?

Wrapping Up

IMG_1144-001 Hello, it’s been a while. We’ve been busy wrapping up projects and goals, reading fat books, and being a complete family again.

During the final weeks of the year Richard and I spend a lot of time wrapping up the lessons and events of the year into a video to send to the grandparents. The kids perform their piano pieces and we make a music video where we lip sync a funny song. My favorite part of the video is the slideshow. We choose music to accompany the images from the year. I watch these videos again and again. I love the memories. My Stewart grandparents say that it is part of their Christmas Eve tradition to watch our video each year. It’s a way that we try to reach out to family far away, but I know that I watch these videos more than anyone.

We threw 3 parties. One was a pizza and game party for Daniel and his friends. Next was Timothy’s birthday.

Timothy turned 11 just before Christmas and we threw him the traditional gingerbread house making party and ate red velvet cake. He finished all of the activity pins for Webelos (Scouts) just before his birthday. He earned every one.

The big family party to celebrate my parents’ anniversary was next. Daniel received an autographed cast picture of Studio C from his uncle that evening. Timothy is being a clown. Aside from the slideshow that we presented of my parents’ marriage, I was most proud of the decorations upstairs and lights we hung across the ceiling in the basement to make our stage magical.

With the kids home I have felt so happy because we haven’t had to go anywhere. Someone asked what we did for Christmas. After I said that we had thrown a big family party, they wondered what ELSE we had done. I couldn’t come up with anything big that we had done, but my mind wandered to what was accomplished without leaving the neighborhood.

I played my violin in church. That’s always an epoch in my life.

We made 20 pints of salsa and delivered them to the neighbors since the thought of baking was making me grumpy.

The kids played in a Christmas piano recital.

We were invited to celebrate Joseph Smith’s birthday on December 23rd with two other families up the street for Family Home Evening. This was super fun. We ate stew and cornbread, sang, had a lesson about the Prophet Joseph, and listened to the kids play the piano.

We took the kids to see Frozen in the theater on Christmas Eve afternoon.

We watched Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concerts on video and opened simple gifts. On Christmas morning, the kids were surprised by Legos and technology. My favorite gifts were the exercise balls that the little boys received. They bounce around on them all of the time. It makes me happy to see kids playing like that. We never have great pictures of Christmas celebrations, but you can probably picture us on our sofa in the basement, Christmas lights everywhere and the fire place warming the room. Small gifts inspire hugs and smiles and in the simplicity is the magic.

We rested and watched Christmas movies such as It’s A Wonderful Life and Mr Kruger’s Christmas. Oh, we needed this. The boys went skiing, but I didn’t do much away from home. Shopping was minimal. Daniel and Richard rebuilt the kids’ computer.

Richard and I went out to dinner one evening. We’re still on the search for a good local Mexican restaurant. We have very discriminating tastes, having lived in Texas, Arizona, and Provo, Utah where good Mexican food (or Tex-Mex) is everywhere.

December 31st was the day Paige got her driver license and I tried to finish reading both The Book of Mormon and War and Peace. I only finished The Book of Mormon in time to ring in the new year. Timothy and Mark stayed up until midnight for the first time in their lives, but Timothy was the only one to truly celebrate. He jumped up and went to everyone’s rooms to wish them Happy New Year!

I dressed in layers and loved the bright sunshine reflected from the snow through my windows. I have twirled in place this week because this life makes me so happy.

As January arrived, I was slow to put away the Christmas decorations, but once they were away, I enjoyed the empty shelves and clean slate that appeared in our home.

Things are getting a little busier each day.

Richard’s parents visited and we went to Gladys’s place to wish her a happy birthday.

We went to the airport to welcome Richard’s niece home from her mission. Richard was very clear that he wanted each of us to hold a letter of her name to greet her at the airport. This attention to a decorative detail was a new side of him that I haven’t seen before. He truly wanted to make his niece’s homecoming a special time.

This morning I finished reading War and Peace. When I introduce myself for the next while, I will say, “My name is Angela and I have read War and Peace.” 😉

Part of the end of the year wrap up is the writing of thank you notes and Christmas cards. This brings to mind so many people who have influenced our lives for good throughout the year. On that note, I will end this post. Thank you, Readers, for sharing your time to read about us.

Happy New Year. There will be many more posts to come. Life is precious and worth writing about.

Merry Christmas Party Pictures

Here is a big batch of photos of the family party that we hosted in our home. I love everything about hosting a party. I love the company and the decorating and the cooking; I love how everyone looked their best and how the cousins got to sit together and the adults got to sit at their own table. I loved the costumes for the Nativity and the talent show with all of the piano music. I loved the slideshow that Richard helped me make of my parents’ 40 years of marriage.

Merry Christmas!

A Six Word Post

Celebrating!

Good kids

Legal

Illness

Home!

Winter sunrise

It’s so dark when the older kids leave for school. This week it was my turn to drive to early morning jazz band. To validate my super human efforts for the musical education of our youth, I took a photo at a red light after I dropped them off. I can’t love winter mornings, but that promise of light making the sky turn blue in the east is a grand thing.

One benefit to not washing your car is the Milky Way effect from the flecks of dry salt on the windshield which reflect light. Stunning!

When it’s cold like this (I mean January-type cold) I just keep spinning it to be a good thing and voila! It is!