Letters from Home – Page 146 – A blog by Angela Ross

Winter sunrise

It’s so dark when the older kids leave for school. This week it was my turn to drive to early morning jazz band. To validate my super human efforts for the musical education of our youth, I took a photo at a red light after I dropped them off. I can’t love winter mornings, but that promise of light making the sky turn blue in the east is a grand thing.

One benefit to not washing your car is the Milky Way effect from the flecks of dry salt on the windshield which reflect light. Stunning!

When it’s cold like this (I mean January-type cold) I just keep spinning it to be a good thing and voila! It is!

Kind friends

A neighbor shoveled my walk yesterday sometime between 4:30 and 6:30 a.m.. I am not sure who did it, but I have an idea. My relief at finding this when it was 4 degrees outside can’t be measured. I could see that all of the walks in the cul-de-sac had been shoveled to so it wasn’t obvious who the good neighbor had been. Nice work! That was my happy face from yesterday in the picture above. You’re welcome. (for the laugh)

The past few weeks have brought a new friend in my life through one of Timothy’s friends at school. I learned that we grew up within a mile or two of one another. She and I graduated from the same high school several years apart and we admired the same teachers. Last night we learned that their family and ours had each worked at Los Alamos National Laboratory in the early days of our marriages. I love finding people with whom it’s so comfortable to to talk.

I asked… “Have you see this [obscure film]?” and of course she had. It is nice to be understood based on where I came from without her having to know me during those flawed years of my life. She has been a good friend during these days without Richard. She is a recent widow, yet she still showed sympathy to me about this time without him. I admire her for that selflessness. My favorite people are those who can look at someone’s situation and appreciate the importance of it and show empathy, despite their own pain or experiences.

I haven’t made close friends very often in my life, and that’s the way I prefer things to be. Some people are just easier for me to share things with. I appreciate friendships on many levels. I need many different kinds of friends

I have my “Role Model” friends with whom I tag along and try to learn their ways, never feeling that they let me in too close.

I have my “Parents of my Children’s Friends” group and that’s a fun relationship because I learn about them through their children so I think of them as friends even though we rarely talk. I know what they are doing and when they eat dinner and other things about their schedules. These are the friends I can text at 6:30 in the morning with a question about carpool and I know they will be up. These are the friends whom I can call when there is a school dilemma, and honey, I have a lot of those now.

There are the “Friends because we are Working Together at Church” friends. Sometimes these relationships last beyond the assignment, but there is a beautiful bond that lasts from shared experiences even if we have nothing else in common.

I will call anyone a Friend who loves my children.

Yesterday was a happy friend day.

Music

I can’t remember a time in many years that I haven’t played the violin for church or a fireside for Christmas. What a nice tradition this is that I never set out to establish, but one that has humbled me and helped me to feel the sweet message of the season every year. I’m playing two pieces this Christmas and the arrangements are beautiful and the people with whom I play are some of the best musicians I have ever met. Where would I be without music and these friendships that come from it?

In high school I was surrounded by really talented violinists that made me see that I lacked in my ability. After 10th grade I no longer had a private teacher and I felt like an amateur among what I now realize was a remarkable and uncommon batch of gifted kids. It wasn’t until I moved to Texas in 1997 that I began to see that there aren’t many adult violinists. I began to appreciate that I could play well enough and not be ashamed of what I knew I still lacked. I am so grateful that I didn’t give up on my talent because of the greater talents of others. I have learned that my talent is enough. I’m the person in the parable who was given two talents, not five, but I have been diligent.

I drove to an elementary school a few weeks ago to introduce the violin to the student body along with other members of a quartet. I stood in front of hundreds of kids and played samples of many styles of music. I remembered my public school orchestra teacher and dedicated the effort to him. What a gift he gave to me with his teaching.

Last Sunday a grandfather approached me to ask if I would teach his granddaughter to play the violin. “She’s a great girl,” he said. I told him that I would consider it. I’m trying to decide if this elementary school performance and this conversation with this grandfather are the signs that I have been waiting for indicating that it’s time to begin teaching someone, even one person to play.

For now, I am being diligent about practice and trying not to get the shakes when I stand up in front of people to play. Richard says that he finds it odd that my confidence has not increased over the years after so many pieces in so many meetings. My confidence hasn’t improved because I think too much and my goal is to transport somebody in the congregation beyond their troubles. The result is the shakes and fear of fainting. But I haven’t fainted yet, so it would be reasonable for me to get over it. My nerves remain immune to reason and I predict that I’ll be a bit of a wreck for the next two Sundays and then feel great about the whole thing when it’s all over.

Teacher and Carpool Christmas Gifts

This is one of the most useful ideas I have seen. We made these (from potholders and plastic bags) in a Relief Society activity two years ago in Arizona and I have used mine several times a week ever since. They fit nicely into a purse or a glove box in the car. They hold first aid items, tooth picks, medicine, or whatever. The kids and I made a bunch of these for teacher and carpool gifts this year.

You stack and alternate 8 or 10 plastic bags on a pot holder and sew them down the middle using a ribbon and thread. You cut off the bottoms of each bag after you sew them down the middle. In order to keep all the bags and ribbon from slipping, I use 3 flat push pins or to hold them in place as I sew.

The outside looks like this after it’s sewn and you attach a button.

A list of items I like to keep in mine:

first aid: bandages, alcohol swabs, q-tips, cotton balls, rubber gloves, Ibuprofen, antacids, throat lozenges
beauty: bobby pins, lip balm, hair elastics, nail clippers, tweezers, soap leaves, 1 or 2 tissues, gum or mints, dental flossers
emergencies: $1 bill, a quarter, safety pins, thread and a needle, a printed list of important phone numbers, tiny flashlight
organization: tape rolled around a craft stick, post it notes, a sharpie and a pen

I like to be prepared, and this little thing has saved me so many times. Having 10 little compartments helps me to see when I run out of something. I hope the people enjoy them as much as I have.

Finish vs. Enjoy

Once in a while I hear people announce that they are “finished” with their Christmas shopping and gift preparations so now they can enjoy the holidays. There are lots of issues playing out here such as trying to focus on the spiritual rather than commercial, completing a big task, and relief that it’s no longer necessary to fight the crowds at the stores. (Have you seen crowds this year at stores? I have not.)

The other day I was working in my “Christmas shop” down in the basement. Candy jars, blankets, and other homemade Christmas gifts surrounded me. For a minute I felt a little overwhelmed when I realized that I was running out of time to finish everything. Then I remembered how much I really enjoy making gifts; I remembered that I had chosen simpler gifts this year on purpose so I could enjoy the making of them in spare minutes. Most gifts I can complete in 15 minutes or less.

I have decided that it’s most important to enjoy the process. If I don’t get it all “done” by December 10th, all well. And good job to those who do “finish” Christmas early. I mean to enjoy every minute of the season, “finished” or not.

I decided that the baking is what is stressing me out this year. I may not bake cookies for all of the neighbors. A friend of mine in Arizona assembled beautiful plates of Christmas goodies using an assortment of store-bought cookies and candies. Perhaps I’ll do that. But I am NOT going to get stressed out over something like a plate of cookies. Amen.

Our Christmas Village

Tonight after doing some snow shoveling I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. Snow was falling and the icing on the houses and trees made my neighborhood look like a little Christmas village on someone’s mantel. I took pictures so Richard could see what he is missing in Phoenix where it’s 65 degrees today. One neighbor caught me taking photos and I was a little embarrassed. All well. It’s best that he learns my odd ways.

The neighbors have really done a beautiful job with their Christmas lights this year.

I love how this house has icicles along with beautiful white lights everywhere.

Our house doesn’t have Christmas lights yet, but it has a little Charlie Brown tree. In fact, I shall name our house the Charlie Brown House of the cul-de-sac. One of these days we’ll get those lights up. But that’s just on the outside. On the inside, we are NOT a Charlie Brown house.

We have a Christmas tree upstairs and two downstairs. Our candy dishes are brimming, Christmas music is playing, nativities are on every shelf in the family room, and red berries and ornaments are everywhere!!

Freedom

Tonight as I put together a Christmas craft activity for the kids I kept thinking that I could pull out the camera and make a “tutorial” for the little pocketed pouches we were sewing. A contrasting thought reminded me that my grandmothers and mother never felt internal pressure to publish home project tutorials. How did I arrive at this mindset?

I understand that my value has nothing to do with what I publish online, but I like to see that people are reading. And people don’t like stale, day-old stuff. I feel pressure to keep moving so you will come back… because we never outgrow the thrill of reading something new, especially when it’s a note from a friend. I write with you readers resting someplace my thoughts, but I also write because I escape as I craft and whittle away at ideas and sentences. If I decide to post a crafty tutorial, it will be because I am proud of it, not because I feel pressure to produce something.

It would be difficult for me to be a serial cartoon artist, always having to come up with something funny. It would be very difficult for me to be a craft or lifestyle blogger, always trying to come up with the next new thing.

Is there anything I can produce online day after day that I can consistently be proud of?

I don’t think so.

It feels like freedom to say no to this production sometimes. Peaks and valleys, green light, red light. Thoughts take time to distill and life must be lived before it can be written.

Thanksgiving in Pine Valley

We spent Thanksgiving with Richard’s family in Pine Valley. My memories of the weekend are accompanied by music from the piano and Christmas carols sung by all. I have never seen so many pies. I took a few candid shots to help me remember the time together. The family’s discomfort at being photographed is so obvious in a few of these pictures. All well. I love these dear people.

Christmas candy jars

I made these from a couple of items from the dollar store, epoxy, and spray paint. They’re a cheery addition to the mantel and they’re not high on the crafting skill index. Apothecary jars filled with candies are so pretty, but you need about 17 pounds of candy inside of them. These are easier to fill and they cost about $2.50 to make.

You’ll need candlesticks,

small jars of different heights,and some wooden knobs from the craft store to affix to the lids. Soak the jars in hot water to remove the labels and glue. Spray paint the candlesticks and knobs. Glue them together with epoxy or E6000. Easy.

These would be cute for Halloween with black bases and lids or pink and red for Valentines Day. I am still trying to figure out how to get the pickle smell out of the lids. They were going to be Christmas gifts, but I don’t want the candy to taste like asparagus or sweet peppers. For now I’m calling them decorations, and I don’t mind the funny flavor in my candy. Mark has noticed my weakness for candy and says that I must have more than one sweet tooth.

Little Women

Paige and I watched this movie late into the night last weekend. I always watch this movie with my girl. The first time I watched it was in a theater with my mom and two sisters in December 1994, just a few days before I got engaged. That’s a sweet memory.

It was a weekend to celebrate women. My mom spoke at the Missionary Training Center to all of the sister missionaries on Sunday morning and she invited me and my sisters to attend.

We were told that 39% of the missionaries at the MTC this weekend are sisters. That’s a lot of women. There was real power in that enormous arena. There were other sisters assembled at the “west campus” and we waved via satellite. When they all sang I cried.

They took lots of notes and told me they were excited to go to Taiwan or Scottsdale, Arizona and all over the world. My mom’s words were beautiful and reminded us that The Gospel Blesses Families. It’s quite something to be invited to speak to such a unique and historic audience. It might have been the largest gathering of sister missionaries ever. It was a special thing to see my mother speak with confidence and power to that audience.

I went home to my Young Women at church and told them that they look like the sisters at the MTC. They are nearly the same age and they have the same countenance. Do they understand that they have power through their obedience to covenants? I hope so. Do they understand that they are respected and valuable in their roles at church? I hope so. Do they know that it’s a blessing to be a woman? Oh, because it is!