I am learning that Motherhood isn’t a narrow, restrictive road, and even more important, this path is full of vantage points to my own talents and interests. Overall, my experiences in raising my children have allowed me a greater outlet for my “self” than I ever imagined.
It’s all about making my Own Brand of Motherhood, and trusting that my particular talents and interests were taken into consideration when God sent these children to me. And trusting that He will guide me, often minute by minute, in this journey.
Minerva Teichert ran a ranch and raised children. As a painter, she almost always had a mural in progress, hanging on her living room wall. She’d paint in her free minutes, many of which I am sure she had to sacrifice to find. As she studied the scriptures and church history, which were the topics of her paintings, she became a scripture scholar. She used this knowledge as she taught her children and grandchildren. Her paintings provided income, but also a larger legacy. Her paintings still help define Mormonism to the world.
In this stage of my life I am most fulfilled as I work in my own home. As a wise friend commented this week, it’s not about finding fulfillment doing “grown-up” things away from home. It’s being centered at home that makes life most fulfilling. So, these days, I am defined almost always as a mother, but find adventure in incorporating my other interests into my day. These personal interests can actually enhance my ability to mother my children and be a good community member.
It bothers me that EVERY TIME I go to one of my doctors she asks in a very concerned tone, “So, are you still homeschooling?” and then seems amazed to hear that I play the violin (away from home!), pursue other interests, and I don’t feel wasted by my lifestyle, raising four children.
Mothering and Personal Happiness are not Mutually Exclusive, Dr. W.
This week, I have studied Shakespeare, read some Jane Austen, worked on food storage, laundry, and countless other things. I haven’t done my nails, whitened my teeth (the kit’s in the bathroom), or finished my book (which I began in June).
It occurred to me this week as I finished up some laundry and dishes that I am living the fairy tale backwards, becoming Cinderella after I met my prince. Studies show that women work more after they are married than before. You may be thinking I’m moving in a negative direction with these thoughts, but no, rest assured. I believe in the backwards fairy tale. Long live the Backwards Fairy Tale Life!
I believe in work, and the absolute necessity of it because it combats my selfishness. Of all the traits that I work hard to tame, vanity and selfishness are at the core. Being a wife and mother and loving it is so helpful as I try to improve my character and talents.
It also helps that Mark, Timothy, Daniel, and Paige are so absolutely cute and good. And these small people will do great things.
Post-Edit Addition:
I sweat bullets over this post, and I still don’t have it right. For instance, I didn’t fully express my innate fulfillment motherhood brings… even without the extra curriculars. Kids are so fascinating and enlivening. They make me want to be a better person. In my case, this means a person who doesn’t seek accolades or affirmation from anybody but my Heavenly Father.
Because He sees what I do and how I try.