Category: Life according to Angela

Hello Halloween

I realized the following:

  1. We haven’t carved pumpkins.
  2. I haven’t bought Halloween candy.
  3. Only one boy is dressing up this year. I think.
  4. I am ready to put up my Thanksgiving decor as soon as we stop seeing trick or treaters.
  5. I might like to dress up this year. I am thinking Rosie the Riveter.
  6. Paige is having fun being an illustrator and got her first commissioned project. Her Instagram feed this month has been whimsical and cute.
  7. Mark decorated his room with spiders and 6-inch plastic skeletons. Hanging just inside the door is a spider with a full human skeleton in its grasp. It’s so morbid that I can’t bring myself to take a picture.
  8. I have been sick and Richard took good care of me. Now that I am feeling better I will need to start cooking again.

A few things I am thinking about

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I just bought a gallon of milk that has an expiration date AFTER election day. We have almost made it! On social media, I got carrried away one day and temporarily blocked many friends who posted something political, so now my news feed is missing, oh, most people. My social media consists of Minion memes, recipes, weddings of people I have never seen before, and a lot of Chicago Cubs stuff. And there is that one friend who posts obscure quotes about classic literature and meditation. I figure many of my social media friends have blocked me for all the links I post to LDS.org. So much for social media being a way to communicate.

Richard and the boys pumped the attic full of insulation over fall break. I have been so warm at night ever since, but I am not sure if it’s because I have convinced myself that I will be warm or if there is a real difference.

Richard has always been conservative with energy use at the house. He is driven to see our kilowatt hours go lower and lower. Our power company gives us a graphic showing how we rank among our neighbors in energy usage. The coveted lowest tier is not yet ours, but I think Richard knows we can get there someday. Is your house full of LED lightbulbs? They are expensive and flicker, but the quality of their light is so much gentler than compact fluorescent bulbs.

Our refrigerator died on Friday night the minute after the appliance repair shops closed for the weekend. It is an 18 year old refrigerator, and it has kept our family alive for a long time. I feel some nostalgia as it begins to falter. Richard looked up another You Tube video about how to fix a refrigerator and got things running again. (He fixed our washer earlier this year after studying a You Tube video.) Better energy efficiency in a new refrigerator may put us in the running for the elite tier of energy savers in the neighborhood, so maybe we should buy a new one. We go round and round endlessly wondering what to do. I keep a thermometer in the refrigerator to make sure it’s staying cold as we enter day 4 of deliberation and negotiation. And I may have to cross over to stainless steel, a sure indicator that styles will change abruptly and stainless will be outdated.

One difficult part of my job at church is when someone asks a tricky question in class and the teacher asks me for a definitive answer. Women older and wiser than me hold their breath. “Will she be able to answer it?” they wonder. Kind and sympathetic women turn and give me encouraging looks. I got a tricky question on Sunday. For the first time in a year and a half, I came home from church not second-guessing my wording of an answer. It must have been important for me to have the answer on Sunday, because I hardly even blushed as I spoke. Maybe I am getting used to being put on the spot.

I hope you didn’t waste too much time reading this nonsense.

Sometimes visiting teaching looks like this

I have a church assignment to visit one of the women in this photo each month to share a gospel message and be her friend. I have a great partner who comes with me who could not be with us when this picture was taken. One thing I have learned about visiting teaching over the years is that sometimes a visit isn’t what a woman needs most. Sometimes it is a meal. Sometimes it is a phone call or a letter or text messages with funny or uplifting quotes. Always it is my prayers. Last night it was an impromptu birthday party at a restaurant. These are some of the busiest women I know but it was so good to take some time and be happy together.

The haircut

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Post-haircut on the good side

Riding out of town with my groom after our wedding reception in a snowstorm felt adventurous. Unconcerned about realities, we snacked on wedding sandwiches and cake as we drove to Los Alamos, New Mexico, where we would spend the summer for Richard’s internship. We drove into a blizzard in Colorado and nearly ran out of gas at a mountain summit, but all this became part of the happy legend of our beginnings.

Were we ready for this life of independence, fending for ourselves far from home? I relied pretty heavily on Richard’s life experience; his mission years and his 4 years seniority meant that his points of reference no longer included high school experiences, as mine embarrassingly still did. Most of our belongings we left in a storage shed behind the house we would rent from my parents in Provo when the summer was over. We had only packed the essentials for three months away: some clothes, a cooler, sleeping bags, a grill, a tent, and my violin. Everything was new, from our camping gear and Richard’s job, to our life together.

Los Alamos (White Rock) is where I made my first attempts at homemaking in a fully-furnished house. While Richard worked, I had many hours to learn how to iron his shirts, dampening them and re-ironing when the seams weren’t right. I learned to skin and de-bone chicken; I may have watched soap operas. These were long days. After I got a job, the days weren’t so slow; we cooked together in the evenings and I didn’t spend all day reading cookbooks and walking mile after mile through deserted neighborhoods.

After about six weeks, Richard’s hair was getting long and we decided to buy an electric clipper so I could give him a trim. I had watched my mom cut hair for years. Confidently, I turned on the clipper and applied it to the side of Richard’s head. One simple sweep upward from the ear exposed a neat, nearly bald track through his hair. I had forgotten to put a comb on the clipper! I was mortified; I didn’t dare try to fix the problem, so we abandoned the haircut and he wore a baseball cap for a few days.

My parents came to town around this time and my mom was able to even up his haircut. What I remember most from the experience is how selfless Richard was. He didn’t act self-conscious about his ruined hair. He wasn’t angry with me. In fact, he reassured me that it didn’t matter. He had very short hair for a while, but he was so noble about it that he lifted me out of my insecurities.

As a seal of his fidelity and kindness, a couple months later, he asked me to give him another haircut.

BYU Homecoming Spectacular

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I am thinking in lists these days. Paragraphs are too much work. Here is what I will remember about our weekend.

Apple harvest and preparation

A Poldark episode with a happy ending

Solar salesmen with long presentations

Gladys Knight, Vocal Point, And Lexie Walker at the BYU Homecoming Spectacular

Mark’s Primary program at church and his piano duet with Richard

Things that made me smile this week

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Things that made me smile this week:

A conversation with friends Monday night

Mark’s declaration that when he is president he will change the flavor of envelope glue.

Two afternoons in my sewing room

Finding some pictures of Timothy on the camera

Mark being home in the evenings because baseball is over.

My presidency: Charlene, Cindy, and Kristy

Being invited in to visit by someone I dropped by to see on a whim.

Texts from women in my church, including, “I found my phone!” “I’m doing well!” “I am happy to help.”

Learning a new skill from a friend

Richard hand-washing the dishes

My beginning violin student who can’t stop smiling when she realizes she is playing a song.

Plenty to read

Halloween bunting

Spending time in Mark’s room, looking at his collections and art

My tried and true recipe of chocolate chip oatmeal cookies

Teaching Mark about atoms and bonding while we mop the kitchen floor together

Mark and Richard’s piano duet

Daniel and Timothy’s good grades on tests this week

Parting with some of the clutter in my closet

Finding a pumpkin I didn’t know was growing in my front flower beds

 

I will.

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Image from Pinterest; unknown source

Morning sunlight peaks through the tiny crevices in the closed blinds on my eastern windows into the darkened room. I close my eyes and pull the blankets closer. Cold mornings, after most of the kids and Richard leave, are lonely and still, and tempt me to stay in my place in the living room, wrapped in a blanket. I have been healthy this October, but gravitate toward stillness during this month of the year more than any other. When I sense that my thoughts are becoming circuitous, or my fingers grow weary from scrolling through the news, it takes an effort to begin the day.

I pray silently, “I WILL get up and fulfill my obligations. I am weak; I know you are aware of my limitations and love me. Help me to move forward today.”

Prayers like this are incredibly helpful.

My inertia is brief and seasonal. I don’t pretend to understand the struggle with depression which is my situation amplified by a hundred. But I do know how good it feels to accomplish something after a morning with a slow start. Even if it is the satisfaction of mopping the kitchen floor or making some phone calls or visits.

In the stillness of my thoughts, I remember my familiar pattern. During October I need more sleep; In October I need to be warm; In October I can make use of my need for rest by reading the best books and making plans. In October I crave comfort and require more self-care. I remind myself that God knows this about me and can still make me useful through my limitations. I remember that God is very kind and patient and inspires me to cook healthy food, gather my family for dinners, enjoy the colors and flavors of the harvest, be aware of the beauty of my surroundings, and press forward each day, even if I get off to a slow start.

Homecoming 2016

Look at this young man and this young lady. A lot of effort went into this date. Daniel spent money he earned at work. His date’s dress was altered by a neighbor to add sleeves. Hair, flowers, a day activity, a dinner, and coordinating with other couples who joined them occupied a lot of their time. Cars were washed and vacuumed. Colors were matchy-matchy. One girl in the group provided her date’s shoes and belt. Other girls provided ties for their dates.

So much effort for a dance that was so dark, the music so loud, and the atmosphere so blaring that his date asked to leave early. Chaperones did not stay in the dance room, but were in the halls. Dancing, music, and attire were inappropriate. Daniel’s experiences at every school dance have been the same. He has stepped out every time.

When we lived in Arizona, there was a Mormon Prom, put on by parents and leaders in the Tucson area. Anyone could attend if they followed church standards. It was decorated beautifully, had amazing refreshments, and the lighting wasn’t too dark and the music was appropriate. It was a magnet for many, not just members of the church.

I didn’t think we would need a Mormon Prom in Salt Lake Valley, but here we are. I would be willing to help with an effort to do something beautiful for these kids, providing a more wholesome environment to enjoy the time they have with their dates. They deserve better than what is being offered.