Living Prophets

1-DSC_2781 — Timothy showed us his latest Lego design, bringing back the old tradition of “Show and Tell” during Family Home Evening.

Family Home Evening, April 13, 2015

Conducting: Timothy
Song (Hymn #22 We Listen to a Prophet’s Voice): Richard
Prayer: Mark
Lesson: Paige
Treats (brownies): Daniel
Helper: Angie

Paige’s lesson was about remembering the messages of General Conference. She told us that one or two days a week during the last several months she has been reading a General Conference talk for her scripture study and that it has blessed her life. She shared the following scripture:

And if my people will hearken unto my voice, and unto the voice of my servants whom I have appointed to lead my people, behold, verily I say unto you, they shall not be moved out of their place. -D&C 124:45

What does it mean to “not be moved out of their place?” she asked. Daniel brought up the talk given by Elder Pearson about Lehi’s vision. The righteous stayed by the tree of life. They didn’t leave it. If we follow the prophets, he said, this is what it means to stay by the tree.

Paige shared this quote:

“We have the Bible, the Book of Mormon and the Book of Doctrine and Covenants; but all these books, without the living oracles and a constant stream of revelation from the Lord, would not lead any people into the Celestial Kingdom of God. Of course, these records are all of infinite value. They cannot be too highly prized, nor can they be too closely studied. But in and of themselves, with all the light that they give, they are insufficient to guide the children of men and to lead them into the presence of God. To be thus led requires a living Priesthood and constant revelation from God to the people according to the circumstances in which they may be placed” (President George Q. Cannon 1827–1901), First Counselor in the First Presidency, Gospel Truth: Discourses and Writings of George Q. Cannon, comp. Jerreld L. Newquist (1987), 252.

Paige asked us to share our favorite messages from General Conference last week. Mark immediately told us the story from Elder Holland’s talk, full of details, about the two brothers who went rock climbing in Southern Utah, one brother saving the other from a fall. As the rest of us shared, Mark rolled on the floor and moaned. I thought he was just bored, but then he said, “The brownies are getting stone cold!” So, midway through sharing our notes on General Conference, Daniel served brownies to the group. Thankfully, they were still warm.

Richard: Shared Elder Perry’s talk about the importance of marriage and families
Angie: Shared President Uchtdorf’s talk about grace
Paige: Liked Elder Ringwood’s talk about being truly good and without guile
Daniel: Shared many quotes from many talks: President Uchtdorf, Elder Pearson, Elder Ballard,…
Timothy: Seemed to remember the Priesthood session best and shared some of the stories he heard there.

1-DSC_2782 — This was Mark’s Show and Tell. This is his own design.

Recovery

This plant that I nearly over-watered to death has been drying out and perking up in the light of my biggest window. I’ve left it alone for two weeks and it’s thriving.

I’m remembering this lesson as Daniel now holds a drivers permit. I must not be overly zealous in my nurturing that I don’t allow him to stretch and grow in responsibility. My efforts to “protect” can weaken my children.

“Let your children have some freedom to learn, to experience, and reach for the sun,” the little plant reminds me.

Fear phase

Have you ever talked yourself out of giving a gift? I’m at that phase of giving where I hope that my generosity doesn’t seem silly, misplaced, juvenile, or crazy. Have you ever read Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli? There are elements of Stargirl in me. I remember important dates in people’s lives. I don’t play the ukelele, but I serenaded almost every sister who joined our Relief Society in Texas with my guitar when I visited their homes. I try to figure out people’s tastes in food, music, literature, and color. I feel deeply for people in their struggles. I don’t know what to say most of the time, so I think of things to give people. But that doesn’t mean that it’s easy to give. What if my gift makes them feel uncomfortable?

You can do this, Angie. You can do this. It’s just a doll. And 99% of the time, it is worth it to show that you care.

Red

I am working on this beauty this week. The lighting is bad today (snow!) so I will wait to take a photo of her finished hair. I fall in love with each doll and of course, every recipient. I love to watch individual beauty emerge with each stitch. I feel a bit like a spectator to their creation, surprised by their “personalities.” She begins her journey, along with a piece of my heart, through the mail to her new home on Friday.

Earthly Father, Heavenly Father

Years ago, a good friend gave us a family home evening journal. Inside were pages to fill in the minutes of our family gatherings each Monday. There was space to list who conducted, which songs were sung, the lesson topic, and family business, but most fun was the place for family news. I go back to our family home evening journals from those early years and smile at the things we listed as accomplishments of the week.

We gave up the practice of keeping a family home evening journal, and the blog seemed to fill in for the “family news” part of our record. However, I have missed the record of what we did together each Monday evening. I’m going to try to give a small recap of what we do for our Monday family home evenings each Tuesday on the blog.

We went to dinner last night with a Christmas gift card. We enjoyed this family time. When we got home, I was in charge of the lesson. I showed this video and then we studied and discussed prayer, referring to the Bible Dictionary:

As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are his children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7-11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest blessings.

Daniel shared that prayer should be a real communication between child and the Father. He said that we need to avoid saying the same things without thinking (vain repetition) and pray often so we develop a relationship. Paige shared that we are children of God and that the video depicts how everything we have is a gift from Him. Richard shared that Heavenly Father doesn’t ask us to pray for his ego, but because everything He asks us to do is for our benefit. I told the kids that prayer is a little bit like playing catch. There are two participants. We show we are ready for answers (or a pitch) by turning to God and preparing ourselves for what he sends to us. If we don’t pray (turn toward the pitch), we aren’t prepared for answers and we aren’t in tune with what Heavenly Father wants for us.

Spring Lake Easter Egg Hunt

1-DSC_2731 — Timothy really loves games. Paige and Daniel took some time to play with him. Hello, vacuum!

1-DSC_2729 — Coloring eggs in Grandma’s craft room

1-DSC_2735 — Remember the tags that I embroidered? Here they are attached to their baskets.

Memories of General Conference, my parents’ mission reunion, and the Easter egg hunt at Spring Lake add some sparkle to my Monday morning thoughts. Mark told me that he wanted to give Easter gifts this year. He and I taught the cousins how to make their own wash cloth bunnies, complete with googly eyes and pom pom noses and tails. Oh, those crazy cousins. Mark didn’t want to to part with them after building forts and bunnies, playing in the Secret Garden, reading the funnies in the library, and having all the soda he could drink.

Easter stuff

1-DSC_2709 — Great-grandmother Violet’s tea set

1-DSC_2722 — I have lots of pink dishes from Richard’s mother. I rarely have a chance to use them, but I love the color.

1-DSC_2723 — It’s time to bring out the pastels. That plant in the lower left is another victim of my inability to keep any plant alive. It is only two weeks old. It is limp and lifeless after being over-watered (I think.)

1-DSC_2711 — Daniel gave me this rabbit many years ago. It looks right at home with the tea cups. I drink cocoa from a tea cup now. It’s a smaller serving and I feel so ladylike.

I realized very late this year that I’d forgotten to decorate for Easter. I had forgotten that I had an Easter wreath. I finally unpacked the pink plates. I have spent more time in the New Testament this week. Richard presented the annual Easter Family Home Evening lesson. We open eggs with objects related to the Savior’s sufferings, death, and resurrection inside. We read scriptures associated with each.

I saw the original of this painting last year and I have a print of it framed beside my desk. This images helps explain the times when my burdens have been lightened because I have relied on the Savior. It reminds me that the Savior understands grief and pain and sin and every little thing. It reminds me how precious Jesus is to the Father. It reminds me how precious he is to me. Perhaps it says something significant to you, too.

Clipboard01 — Agony in the Garden by Frans Schwartz

Mark updated our white board calendar yesterday. I was grateful for the image that he chose to draw on Easter Sunday. The empty tomb is my favorite symbol of hope.

General Women’s Meeting Year 7

The tradition continues…

This is Paige’s last General Women’s Meeting at home. I hope we can keep our tradition in the years to come. Congratulations, darling girl. We did it. I have loved going to these meetings each spring with you.

Loneliness

One of the requirements in the Personal Progress program for young women in my church is to interview a mother to discover qualities that are important in motherhood. Paige interviewed me and she took some notes. When we were finished, I asked her if anything I said was a surprise to her. She said that she was surprised by my answer that women need to be prepared to be lonely at times.

When is it lonely to be a mother? And is loneliness all bad?

I remember pushing Paige in the stroller on a walk through the frost-covered neighborhood when she was 2 or 3 months old. She was bundled up in a fuzzy pink body coat with white trim around the face. I was distraught and I berated myself, “What kind of mother are you, letting things go so far without calling a doctor?” She had a red blister that was oozing and sensitive. Somehow my worry didn’t translate into courage to call her doctor and have it looked at. I felt immature, scared, and alone that day, but my walk and harsh self-talk helped me to call the doctor when I got home. It all turned out just fine.

I was young. None of my closest friends were even married. I was teaching Primary on Sundays and this didn’t bring me any close friendships with other women. Richard was at school and work all day and into the night. I had to figure out what kind of mother I would be during those early months on my own. It was hard, but not bad. If I hadn’t been a little isolated, the shock of moving to a new state later that year would have been more difficult. Every new mom is going to feel alone in decisions sometimes, isolated physically from friends and family, and it’s an opportunity to grow.

I remember the week when Paige’s best friend went to Kindergarten. We had decided to keep Paige at home and begin home schooling. Our decision had been considered carefully, but when the reality hit that Paige wasn’t going to be in Kaitlyn’s class and have a sleep mat and a cute backpack and be in a sea of children on the playground, that felt lonely. I learned from this lonely time (before we found home school groups) that it takes courage to be different than everyone else in the neighborhood and church. I learned not to care so much about what other people did and to focus on what my children needed. Loneliness led to many great family memories and education adventures.

Years later in Arizona, I was one of the oldest mothers in our church congregation. There weren’t many girls Paige’s age at church, and just a few boys for Daniel to play with. The home school community was split down a religious divide and Mormons were excluded from the most dynamic and well-attended home school group. I was isolated by age and my beliefs from groups of women who loved one another at church and school.

There were many days where I felt lonely, but poured my energy into leading art and science lessons for 30 families at our community center. I became a community leader through my isolation. I didn’t have a lot of chit-chat at church with younger women. However, I had long, important talks with many of these young mothers, one by one, when they asked to visit our home to learn about parenting or home school. I became a mentor in my early thirties.

In retrospect, I don’t think the kids would agree that the years in Arizona were a lonely time. I made sure they were with other children every day. But it didn’t always follow that I had friends, too. I learned to be strong in my parenting during those years and I dedicated my energy to my family and my community. This helped me to avoid feeling sorry for myself. Loneliness and isolation worked to our benefit once again.

Here are some lessons that I learned from loneliness:

Some loneliness comes from the idea that we can only be friends with people our age, in similar circumstances, and neighborhood. Not finding friends in the immediate area, I became friends with people in a larger radius. I became friends with women who were old enough to be my mother and grandmother. I became friends with people of other faiths. I am so grateful for my diverse set of friends!

Loneliness is an attitude. Isolation is often a choice. I didn’t have to be lonely. I learned to go on walks, talk to people at parks, be assertive, and dream about ways to make the community stronger, then go out and do it.

Everyone wants kind neighbors. I have tried to be a good neighbor. A plate of cookies or a loaf of bread have been great ways to begin a relationship with people.

When you are lonely, this is an opportunity to grow in courage and ability. Because I was lonely, I learned to depend on my Heavenly Father more than myself. I learned to depend on my husband more than friends. I learned that I could do hard things. I learned new skills. I grew strong because I needed to be strong.

Loneliness is a sign we need to reach out. Loneliness can be a catalyst for great experiences and friendships. I am thankful for the experiences I sought because I was lonely.

The Irresistible Packing Peanut

When packages arrived at the house in the early 2000’s, merchandise was packed in S-shaped Styrofoam puffs. Some were pale green, others were pink, but most of them where white.

White like snow!

Or so the children imagined. A package would arrive and if there were packing peanuts, they would immediately shove their hands deep into the box, Styrofoam puffs up to their chests. The rustling sound when they moved their fingers through them and the squeaky, cracking sound when the puffs broke in their hands added to their delight.

A fresh box of packing peanuts had arrived earlier that day. (Who cares what the merchandise was! There was a big box to climb in and there were Styrofoam puffs!) Three-year-old Daniel and six-year-old Paige began some of their best plans for packing peanut play. Just this once, Mom decided to watch instead of divert them from the inevitable disaster.

“Let’s fill Mom’s big pot with them,” Daniel suggested to Paige, and hurried to the kitchen. Soon there was a stew of Styrofoam simmering in the pot. Daniel decided that the box of remaining packing peanuts would be a tub of bubbly, warm water. Splash! Peanuts scattered everywhere in the kitchen when he jumped in. Paige joined him in the box for about six seconds before Daniel hopped out, ready for something new.

Next, Daniel decided that he wanted to sit in the pot filled with Styrofoam. He threw the puffs in the air as he sat in the cozy space, knees up to his chest.

It was snowing!

They decided to make a blizzard. They moved their game into the living room on the carpet. Peanuts flew, squeaking and rustling before their flight, landing on every surface and crevice in the room. Thousands of puffs littered the carpet, but Daniel discovered he could multiply their number by breaking them into tinier and tinier pieces…pieces so small they clung to his sweatpants, arms, shirt, hair, and carpet. He was a magnet for puffs because of newly-generated static electricity.

The boy became a crazed snow-making machine and he made a worthy effort to break each. and. every. piece. of Styrofoam into tiny bits. It happened quickly. Paige looked on, enjoying the spectacle, but feeling some apprehension creeping in.

Continuing in a whirling frenzy of destruction, Daniel scattered his foamy missiles everywhere. Small bits of foam clung to Daniel’s lashes and he paused to look at the scene. Something awakened his sense of sanity. Was it frustration that he couldn’t seem to brush off all of these bits of foam from his clothes? Was it that his tub of Styrofoam was scattered everywhere and therefore not as fun? Or was it his big sister’s wide blue eyes, staring at the mess in disbelief?

Mom had been watching the storm, waiting to see how far the kids would take the game. With this pause, she decided ~~that if another piece of Styrofoam fell, she might go insane~~ that it was time to clean up. Dad plugged in the vacuum and handed Daniel the hose. They raked the big bits from the carpet and gathered the pieces with the vacuum. Cleaning up a snowstorm wasn’t nearly as fun as making one. Bits of foam disappeared into the box. And Mom went to a quiet place in the house to sort out why she couldn’t enjoy playing with packing peanuts like everyone else…

and maybe to snicker softly at the memory of the disaster.