Joyful Celebration

 

Most of us will never know what it is like to lead the class procession at graduation and give the valedictory speech, but I can say that being Daniel’s mother this evening felt pretty great. I felt distant among all the conversations and congratulations with friends, I think because I was busy finding dedicated places in my heart for all that this evening meant to me. Now, late at night, I am going through pictures, alternately smiling to myself and drying tears.

Tonight was one of the last nights it will be possible to have all of our children together for a few years. Paige left for New York tonight, accompanied by Richard, and she’ll come back just in time to say goodbye to Daniel before he leaves on his mission.

On my shelf in the kitchen, I just placed a sign that says “Gather,” but I keep thinking that the more fitting word for us this summer is “Fly.”

 

Superpowers Required

There was a big meeting scheduled this week for my calling. We were asked to “arrange our schedules” so we could attend. This phrase read in my mind, “It will be a sin to miss it.” The problem was, this meeting was at the same time as the Senior awards night. I felt the urgency of the message to fix my schedule, and wondered if God expected me to miss an important part of graduation. I mean, my ancestors left their countries and families to cross the plains and serve missions. Here it was again: the call of church and family, ringing in all parts of my mind, not in harmony, but dissonant and out of sync. This interpretation of events is no one’s fault but my own. No meeting is worth the angst I felt, but it illustrates the way I and many women face the world. We interpret invitations as commandments and feel regret when we can’t do everything. Compound this with the question, is there anything worse than a mother who doesn’t show up for her kids? Mothers are needed more than presidents, but I need to feel my choices are actually mine to make. I believe I usually choose the right option after some thought and talking it out. Of course I would choose my son, but in my mind, I was wrestling to know if it was God’s will or mine that made me think I should choose the meeting. In the end, I chose my son and was thankful that my Father in Heaven gave me counselors to cover meetings I can’t attend.

I don’t believe I need to do more things to be of worth. But independent of my worth, I want to be useful, and that means I need to do the right things. It feels like super powers are required sometimes. Sometimes I am torn in big ways, but other times I think it is funny what I am asked to do. This week included the following:

I was asked to help with an essay, but I was not allowed to read the rough draft.

I needed to visit a home full of dogs, but focus on the people, not the beloved dog biting my feet during the visit.

I was asked to demonstrate Timothy’s electric guitar since I am the only one in the house who plays the guitar. Never mind that I can’t play Metallica.

And of course, I needed to be in two places at once, or at least I felt that way until I let it go and delegated the responsibility to someone else. I think this is the freedom that I was looking for this week. My Father in Heaven has everything in place to make things work for busy moms at church.

When You Turned Twelve

The day you turned twelve, I saw you once in the morning, on your way to school. You opened your first present, a Lego Chewbacca and were happy about that. When you returned home, I was at a tournament and your dad took you camping. You and a friend decided you didn’t need your dads around, so you sent them home and camped out on your own.

I took you on a trip to the Lego store without your brothers and watched you shop very carefully, settling on a red vehicle. Then we met your dad and brothers for dinner at a buffet restaurant and you tried pot roast, got seconds on that, plus plenty of cinnamon butter and scones. There were many plates of food. You tried several desserts and made me a sundae because you are good at that and you are kind. You finished everything off with a mug of hot chocolate. Why not?

We waited a week for Solo to come out and all of us joined you for a matinee at the movie theater, Paige, too! After the movie, you asked your usual reporter questions, “Which was your favorite scene?” “Which character was the best?”

You were so nervous about church, being called up and presented to the congregation. Your nervousness showed itself in your frustration about not having the right skinny tie. Daniel helped you with that, and you wore a skinny coral tie from one of Daniel’s dances, which he tied for you. When you were called to the front of the congregation, I was proud of you for making a short smile to help everyone see the real you.

I know the Legos we bought you will not be played with as much as you believe they will.  I know that your hairstyle is becoming a more important concern and I notice how you are hungry all of the time. When you got angry about something recently, you asked what to do to get over it. I suggested you do something you loved. You baked a cake and all was well.

Your favorite subjects are world history and science. You are smart. Sometimes I hear you singing and humming to yourself in your room and wish things could just stay as they are, but we’re on a faster track now. In fact, next year, you will be very different than you are today. Overall, you can look forward to bigger achievements, adventures in nature, a deeper voice, longer math problems, and you may not feel like telling me you love me as often as you do now. It’s ok. I know you still do. And oh, how I love you!

Reward

This weekend I will put out my summer and patriotic decorations. I may be just a little obsessed about this addition to our decor this year. It is so unlike me to buy something like this, but I saw the band playing in the gazebo and the cute food stands and remembered my childhood summers in Provo. Plus, I did at least 17 really difficult things during the week, so I treated myself, 40% off at Michael’s.

Happy weekend!

Woods

Timothy has worked hard in woods this year. The electric guitar was his final project and it was fun to go to the wood shop at the school to see all the students’ projects on display. We are really impressed by his guitar! Now, if we just had a guitar amp, he could play it. Oh, my.

This is how he chose to style his cricket table he made in the fall. A round table for a round Millennium Falcon. Perfect.

 

 

Gratitude in May

I am able to keep windows open all day lately, and the sounds of the breeze swirling our great cottonwood trees and the fresh air somehow dispel the busy feelings and replace them with grateful feelings. Consistently, I feel grateful for trees and green and warmer air.

May 7-13

  • grilled hamburgers and a lovely salad
  • clean sheets and bathrooms
  • Elder Kearon’s devotional
  • time to read on Tuesday
  • my neighbor was able to come over and hear her daughter perform a violin piece
  • Taste of Home chicken pot pie
  • passport work finished
  • the quilting ladies
  • the trees we had to cut down: Thank you for the beauty.
  • productive days
  • a quilt for Morgan
  • our bishop’s miraculous recovery
  • piano duets played by our sons
  • Mother’s Day magnets from Daniel

May 14-20

  • Paige’s Mother’s Day card
  • open windows and fresh air
  • Charlene Kettle
  • Excedrin
  • Sunday evening walk with Richard
  • 2 days outdoors at a tournament
  • NYC tickets ready
  • Mediterranean salad at Wendy’s
  • Mark is twelve.
  • Sunday night gathering of my boys on the bed to talk to me
  • Mark singing in the choir
  • Mark playing Uptown Funk and Indiana Jones on the trumpet
  • Tim’s jazz band recordings from Richard
  • passport arrived
  • dinner from my counselors when I was sick

Weekend in the Sun

I just spent a glorious two days watching Timothy’s Ultimate Frisbee state tournament. I am proud of him for running constantly (there were only 8 players and 7 had to be on the field at a time) and for being a decent, respectful, kind human. The team did really well, but I find myself most happy about the way Timothy conducted himself.

Jazz, Art, Band, Choir, Twelve, AP

Richard and I had plans to go to Timothy’s jazz band dinner dance this week, but I was sick and had to miss it. Mark went in my place. I really missed out on a great evening! Timothy was able to play with some seasoned jazz musicians and play some of my favorite big band music. He is the trombone player on the second row in the video.

Today is Mark’s 12th birthday. I am happy for him, and a little sad for me. This week he displayed some work in an art show, played trumpet in a band concert, and sang in a choir concert. I couldn’t get a good photo of him in the back of the band. However, I bet you can spot him easily in the choir. He is ambivalent about the choir experience for many reasons, one being his section.

It’s the Fathers and Sons campout tonight, so we will celebrate Mark tomorrow night with all the good things.

Each day but one this week Daniel or Timothy took AP tests. I tried to warn them, but they took the classes and tests anyway. 😉