Payson temple

We decided to attend the temple as a family, all six of us at the same time. My parents came with us and we did ordinances for some particularly dear family members who are deceased. Some spent time in the baptistry. Mark had names he had discovered himself at the family history library plus one other special name we have been waiting for permission to do. Others spent time in a session. Daniel and Richard carried names Daniel found when he was twelve years old. It was an especially sweet day at the Payson temple. The name cards had been well-traveled, with some ordinances in Arizona, others in Draper, and now Payson. I was really affected by the experience and I was glad that I still had tissues in my pocket from a different day in the temple. I wish we had taken a picture, but we got separated and things were a little hectic getting there. My mom figured we had some challenges getting to the temple because it was the right thing to do. Amen.

New lenses

At 2:15 on Monday, I captured the kids doing these things and asked them to pretend I wasn’t taking pictures.

Richard dreads the idea of having to wear glasses, but I have worn them since I was nine or ten years old and know how great it is to have vision restored. Like Richard, though, I sometimes fight the different lenses I need to take on with time: the lens of experience in saying goodbye at college or a mission, the lens of what it’s like to sit with someone who is in pain, and the lens to look outward when my own troubles want to dominate my view. The lenses of experience with disappointment, repentance, and wisdom after stupidity are particularly difficult to assume sometimes.

I think the most difficult thing I ever did was say goodbye to my friends who went on missions. Three best friends left within a year and I was shaken emotionally and physically. For this reason, I worried what it would be like to send Daniel, who is more dear to me, on a mission. I have my moments, of course, but I have something I didn’t have when I said goodbye to my friends when I was 18 and 19 years old. The lenses I have acquired over time teach me that a mission is not just a goodbye. It is everything good. I have seen it again and again. I am really as peaceful about this as I have ever felt over a big transition. I felt it when he read his call to me. I feel it now, even though we have less than a week left together. It is peace not earned by personal experience, since I have never sent a son before, but it’s evidence of a generous God.

Sunday Breakfast & Friends

Paige came home from New York last night and Daniel spoke in sacrament meeting today. We had a lot of family join us for the meeting, so we gathered for breakfast before church at our house. Daniel’s friends ate breakfast leftovers after church on our back patio. We didn’t get photos of everyone who came, but we are thankful for those who showed their support. It was a good day.

On the List

We decided that we needed one last Lego building night, so for family night we turned on a Harry Potter audio book and played with sets from the old Lego library. Then we read scriptures and sent Timothy out to the garage with Richard to finish his last driver’s ed. assignment. I think we all felt pretty good about life.

Also, we found this attached to our door. The hearts are covered with encouraging messages from the Jaussi family.

 

The Things I Want to Remember

 

There are many things that I could write about today: a week full of challenges and adventures, sweet moments, and goodness. I think will share my gratitude list from last week.

July 16-22, 2018

Kind woman who helped Daniel select temple clothing

Nice woman at the health department

We toured each boy’s bedroom (each showed something they were working on) for family night and ended the evening watching funny YouTube videos together on Mark’s bed.

The Pickwick Papers miniseries

I was given the right words to say to a sister who needed some help.

A sweet birthday visit to my dad

My presidency, especially my secretary who is moving this week. Her service has been immense.

The polka dot skirt

The boys were protected on their trip to Fish Creek.

Two-year-old Layton’s prayer for me during his mom’s visit to my home

Paige had a great week in New York.

We found a coat for the mission.

The mission shopping is nearly complete.

Daniel’s hug in the celestial room of the temple

 

 

Skirt

Almost every day I shop for Daniel, I find mothers out with their sons buying mission clothing, too. I don’t even have to see them to feel some familiarity. Today I overheard a woman helping her son find a travel bag in the next aisle. I knew exactly what was going on. When I see these mothers with their wide-eyed, humble sons, it makes me ache for the mothers a bit. Maybe these moms would also appreciate something cheerful to wear. 😉 I finished sewing my polka dot skirt!

Polka dots and t-shirts

I am convinced that I need polka dots to get through the next few weeks so I am making myself a polka dot skirt. Will I finish it today? I hope so.

Today I will not obsess about Daniel’s suits being the wrong fit or colors. (They are fine. Why can’t I believe that? Who is this paranoid person?) I will not worry about all of the name labels I should be sewing on his clothing, nor the alterations I still need to do. (This will actually be easy, and I will enjoy a movie or two as I do it.)  I will stop crying about not being able to find a winter coat for him because I think I finally found two good options late last night online. (And I have lots more time since it is expected that we will ship these things to him in a couple months.) I will stop wishing I had a big sister and appreciate all the sisters who surround me.

I am using every method at my disposal to WIN these days and weeks leading up to the mission: savoring every bite of my food, watching British entertainment, decorating with twinkle lights, embracing positive words, and taking spontaneous time with the boys. Melancholy still seeps in, and when it does, I just take it, have my little cry or whatever, and think about my polka dot skirt. But don’t let this post about fabrics fool you. When I am obsessing about socks or a suit or polka dots, it is really that I am having a hard time saying goodbye to Daniel. The person, not the mannequin I am dressing. Finding the right clothes is really the least of my worries.

I have adopted some armor. When I wear positive messages, it changes how I think. I bought a lot of happy screen print t-shirts, enough for every day of the week.

I plan to pair them with my polka dot skirt. Here are a few of them:

It won’t wear one of these on the day we say goodbye since I plan to experience every feeling that day without armor.