We decided that we needed one last Lego building night, so for family night we turned on a Harry Potter audio book and played with sets from the old Lego library. Then we read scriptures and sent Timothy out to the garage with Richard to finish his last driver’s ed. assignment. I think we all felt pretty good about life.
Also, we found this attached to our door. The hearts are covered with encouraging messages from the Jaussi family.
There are many things that I could write about today: a week full of challenges and adventures, sweet moments, and goodness. I think will share my gratitude list from last week.
July 16-22, 2018
Kind woman who helped Daniel select temple clothing
Nice woman at the health department
We toured each boy’s bedroom (each showed something they were working on) for family night and ended the evening watching funny YouTube videos together on Mark’s bed.
The Pickwick Papers miniseries
I was given the right words to say to a sister who needed some help.
A sweet birthday visit to my dad
My presidency, especially my secretary who is moving this week. Her service has been immense.
The polka dot skirt
The boys were protected on their trip to Fish Creek.
Two-year-old Layton’s prayer for me during his mom’s visit to my home
Paige had a great week in New York.
We found a coat for the mission.
The mission shopping is nearly complete.
Daniel’s hug in the celestial room of the temple
Almost every day I shop for Daniel, I find mothers out with their sons buying mission clothing, too. I don’t even have to see them to feel some familiarity. Today I overheard a woman helping her son find a travel bag in the next aisle. I knew exactly what was going on. When I see these mothers with their wide-eyed, humble sons, it makes me ache for the mothers a bit. Maybe these moms would also appreciate something cheerful to wear. 😉 I finished sewing my polka dot skirt!
Not pictured in this post: the faithful Scoutmaster who took these photos.
I am convinced that I need polka dots to get through the next few weeks so I am making myself a polka dot skirt. Will I finish it today? I hope so.
Today I will not obsess about Daniel’s suits being the wrong fit or colors. (They are fine. Why can’t I believe that? Who is this paranoid person?) I will not worry about all of the name labels I should be sewing on his clothing, nor the alterations I still need to do. (This will actually be easy, and I will enjoy a movie or two as I do it.) I will stop crying about not being able to find a winter coat for him because I think I finally found two good options late last night online. (And I have lots more time since it is expected that we will ship these things to him in a couple months.) I will stop wishing I had a big sister and appreciate all the sisters who surround me.
I am using every method at my disposal to WIN these days and weeks leading up to the mission: savoring every bite of my food, watching British entertainment, decorating with twinkle lights, embracing positive words, and taking spontaneous time with the boys. Melancholy still seeps in, and when it does, I just take it, have my little cry or whatever, and think about my polka dot skirt. But don’t let this post about fabrics fool you. When I am obsessing about socks or a suit or polka dots, it is really that I am having a hard time saying goodbye to Daniel. The person, not the mannequin I am dressing. Finding the right clothes is really the least of my worries.
I have adopted some armor. When I wear positive messages, it changes how I think. I bought a lot of happy screen print t-shirts, enough for every day of the week.
I plan to pair them with my polka dot skirt. Here are a few of them:
It won’t wear one of these on the day we say goodbye since I plan to experience every feeling that day without armor.
Summer is Richard’s favorite season. He lives it fully and then crashes. This was the day after scout camp. Adventurous, fun, uncomplaining, and dedicated are words that describe him. Our dog knows who the best human is in the house.
I spent some time today with Daniel going through his closet. When he was eleven or twelve, he and I organized his many collections in boxes with labels, and this week, he is parting with most of these things. Collections of metal, bouncy balls, airsoft pellets, rocks, army men, shiny things, cards, baseballs, toys, pens, postcards, marbles, cowboy things, Pinewood Derby cars, CDs, and other treasures went through our hands one more time together. There were things to keep, things to pass on to others, and much to throw away.
Tonight I look at Mark’s collections at his desk and feel the need to remember every detail of these messy cubbies.
Richard and his brothers and dad went camping and rode four-wheelers a few weeks ago near Richfield. Russ shared these photos with me. I am told someone with a gun in a holster tried to run them off his land, even though they were on a forest service road. They met some people who fed them strawberries in the shade, and Richard’s dad seemed to draw energy and vitality from the adventures.
I am glad the men had this time together and that the crazy guy did not draw his gun. I understand that after submitting to having photos taken and being followed, they were on first-name terms with the guy. In the end, crazy guy gave them a phone number to contact him when they “came back with their women” next time. We women can’t wait. 😉
Recently, a friend shared some of her gospel questions with me. I think people with questions are using their minds. I think people with questions should ask them and seek for answers, even if it takes their whole lives. I am not somebody who has a lot of big questions. This is just not how I face the world. I invest time in my testimony every day in the scriptures and prayer. But my questions as I study the scriptures and pray are usually very small. “What does this sentence mean for me?” or, “How shall I structure my time today?” and, “Will you be there with me?” And since I get ample direction from asking these simple questions, this has helped me trust to God the big questions. My spiritual gift isn’t grand knowledge and answers to troubling questions. It’s simple faith that God speaks to me and directs me in small things, and cumulative small things add up over time to sweeping faith and trust in God.
One step enough for me.
Richard and Mark left for Scout Camp this morning at 6 am. I got up to wish them goodbye, and now I can’t seem to make myself happy or get going. The trade-off for missing Richard is that I know Mark will be ok with his dad around. I miss Mark already. He is my companion most of the time, and he pats me on the back while I shop for groceries and he likes to fix me little things for lunch.
Some days are bad days for me, just like anyone, even if I don’t vocalize it.
It takes a lot of family and leader effort to get a scout to a beautiful Eagle Court of Honor like we had last weekend.