Category: Motherhood

The best part of our day

Timothy, Christmas 2004

The best part of each day lately is when Richard and I sit down to watch an annual family Christmas video. We have made these videos since 2003, so if we want to see them all before Christmas, we begin early. They feature our kids’ performances, piano pieces, and sometimes lip syncs to Christmas songs. They end with a slideshow of the year’s photos put to music. They were originally intended for the grandparents, but as the years pass, they probably bring the most delight to us.

We are working on the 2025 installment. There is always a story to tell about family.

Here is a part of our 2014 video:

2014 Christmas

20-83 extra hours

This is a figure I saw this weekend of the number of extra hours of labor that women take on during Christmas time. This seems accurate to me.

I have never wanted to cultivate resentment about the effort it takes to create some extra Christmas magic. When the kids were younger, this meant I tried not to hurry them as we created simple traditions. When they were teens, the magic came from devoting our lives to support their dance and musical performances. When our adult children can’t be with us, I adjust my expectations and send packages.

Whatever is required of us this Christmas, I know that we can take inspiration from the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. He showed us how to love and serve.

Sweet Happy MOM♥️

The beads of my friendship bracelet from Mark

Is there anything more affirming than a friendship bracelet with your name on it?

Mark made this friendship bracelet for me when he was five years old, I am sure with help from Paige. I have worn it through the years when I need a reminder of who I am or when I need courage. I have hidden it within a pocket when facing personal challenges, and it broke last month inside my pocket.

I can fix it, and I am grateful it wasn’t lost. The loose beads remind me how different it looks to be a mother now, and how this year, in particular, has felt like a scattering of all known things. I will fix the bracelet and keep it as it was, but this experience also reminds me that when something breaks, it’s an opportunity to fit in some new letters.

G A – M A

W R I T E R

D I S C I P L E

H O S T

W H O L E

See you in a few weeks

Illustration by Paige 😍

I am taking a break from updating my blog during the next few weeks. Weddings call forth many private emotions and so many errands. You can picture me in the aisles of Hobby Lobby on (another) “last trip for the wedding,” running errands, facilitating a big luncheon for family and friends, and preparing church lessons, etc. It’s a time to celebrate Tim and Queenie and to cherish the covenants of the temple sealing. While I am busy, I know that no detail of the wedding matters more than those few minutes in the temple being sealed as husband and wife for eternity.

Repeat

I didn’t thin the sunflowers this year as they popped up in a great company of heart-shaped leaves. They continued to grow and blossom through the summer, and now the flowers begin to fade. The bees that collected nectar begin to close out their shift as small birds come to snack on sunflower seeds.

As I have mentioned before, I interpret these unintended sunflowers as the Lord’s cheer and encouragement to me as he cares for my missionaries. To me, quite literally, they are my “son-flowers.”

They bloom in my backyard, but I see them everywhere this time of year. Looking through photographs, I find them in the background of Daniel’s wedding pictures, and now, Tim’s. I collected the round, burr-like remnants of Mark’s first-year missionary sunflowers last winter to keep in a glass box on a shelf.

We need the rhythm of seasons and the predictability of daylight and sunset. Yet with all this predictability, there awaits a perpetual wonder inspired by the beautiful creations of God. I smile almost every day when I see how that one little sunflower that appeared while Daniel served his mission has become this array, reminding me of a glorious God, who blesses us with a “multiplicity of blessings.” (See Doctrine and Covenants 104:2.)

mix and match on Paige’s birthday

This was one of the calls I had with Paige on her birthday this week. We mix and match people who can participate for any given thing. Of course we miss the other members of the family not included in this shot and others. I took for granted being a 6-person unit that I could count on to see each day, but as much as I miss them, I don’t want them to clip their wings for me. They are doing amazing things in many places.

Paige is worth celebrating!

Paige is a wonderful mother, a peacemaker, a kind friend, and a keeper of traditions. She is what a disciple of Christ looks like. She’s strong, patient, steady, faithful, and a listener. She has developed many gifts. She’s a talented professional illustrator, a foodie, a dancer, a musician, and a wonderful daughter. And so much more.

Fun evening

I took about 200 pictures of Tim and Queenie on Saturday night at Albion Basin with a backdrop of wildflowers, mountain peaks, and a beautiful sunset. Wildflower season brings crowds, and Richard circled in the truck, waiting for a parking spot while we began taking photos. Somehow, among all the brides and grooms and families, we were able to take photos without people in the background. I told them to pretend they were the only ones there and not worry about onlookers. Other times, we had the path to ourselves. I felt pretty lucky to have this time with them.

What if?

School is getting out this week in my neighborhood, and this season of graduations makes me reflect on how much has changed since our youngest left home. During most of this school year, I have wondered why all the years of dedication and effort in raising my family needed to end with these hollow feelings. Recently, I decided to challenge my negative thoughts about the “empty nest.”

For instance, what if my current situation isn’t a sign that I did something wrong?

What if the quiet things I am doing now are essential, and not just filler?

What if this season is actually a gift?

What if I look at this time of transition less like an airport and more like a plane in flight?

What if my small achievements are actually big?

What if I choose to trust the process?

I begin to understand that I’m exactly where I should be. As summer arrives, I’m ready to graduate to a new kind of thinking, and move away from the hollow spaces I’ve inhabited so long.