Category: Unsolicited Advice from Dear Angie

Still a Monday girl

Almost without exception, I know that if I put something on my To Do list on a Monday, I’ll get it done. Monday is a blank canvas, a clean slate, and fresh powder on the ski slope. I thrive in new starts.

Maybe you’re a weekend person or you thrive on a different day of the week.

When, besides Sunday, is my list the shortest? Saturday! It’s just a decision based on current priorities. I don’t plan to clean, shop, or organize on that day because I’m not alone. I like to be flexible and adapt the day according to who stops by and what Richard would like to do. You may be in a different season where house tasks are the right thing to do on a Saturday. That’s just not my stage of life.

Once I learned when I’m at my best and identified my priorities, my To Do lists became manageable. Oh, and in case you forgot this advice, I think To Do lists should always be written in pencil. With an eraser, an unfinished list becomes an instrument of grace instead of an instrument of shame.

All the math

Sometimes we need to add things to our lives, and other times, the best thing we can do is subtract. This quote is so vital in the process,

Sometimes we speak almost casually about walking away from the world with its contention, pervasive temptations, and false philosophies. But truly doing so requires you to examine your life meticulously and regularly. As you do so, the Holy Ghost will prompt you about what is no longer needful, what is no longer worthy of your time and energy.

As you shift your focus away from worldly distractions, some things that seem important to you now will recede in priority. You will need to say no to some things, even though they may seem harmless. As you embark upon and continue this lifelong process of consecrating your life to the Lord, the changes in your perspective, feelings, and spiritual strength will amaze you!

Russell M. Nelson, Spiritual Treasures October 2019

This quote identifies two important goals of mortality: to consecrate your life to the Lord and overcome the world. To succeed, President Nelson directs us to be intentional about subtraction.

Maybe you’re in a season of exponential demands. Perhaps you are in a season of multiplication, where you take on more responsibility or have another child. Or, you have to divide your time between heavy responsibilities. Perhaps you need to add something to your routine to make yourself stronger. No matter your season of life and its accompanying math, don’t forget the need for inspired subtraction.

Rejection

Mark’s photo of the Northern Lights from Bornholm, Denmark

Rejection is one of the greatest teachers in life. Mark is experiencing it as a missionary, and you can probably recall a time when you’ve been rejected. I think of a small rejection I faced just last week and ouch, it still hurts.

Rejection makes us see that we aren’t going to be chosen every time; we can’t all be the favorite; the gifts we prepare won’t always be appreciated; and sometimes, the precious things we share with people will be ignored.

Let’s remember that poor reception from others can’t obliterate our efforts. We haven’t failed if we have loved, sacrificed, and shown the courage to share. And if we are unable to accomplish the big things we hoped, let’s remember that our identity and our worth in God’s eyes have never been a matter of popularity, outward measures, or appearance.

…for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.

1 Samuel 16:7

What can we do when we experience rejection? It’s tempting to get discouraged, feel like a victim, or become angry. But Jesus knows a lot about rejection, and he met it with love and truth, whatever the personal cost.

Today, I am going to keep facing the winds of possible rejection and keep loving, serving, and sharing. I also take comfort that in some things, such as temple work, we see things as they really are:

There is value in giving, even if we don’t see an immediate result.

Simple solutions

One night when I was sick recently, I struggled to fall asleep. There played in my mind a rapid-fire slideshow of images I had seen on my phone while I was sick in bed. Advice, decor, shopping, Christmas traditions, clothes, and all kinds of information flashed in an endless loop, robbing me of peace.

Eventually, sleep came, and when I woke up, I had no appetite for more images. Media was wearing me out, physically and mentally. It was time to consume less.

The solutions to our problems can almost always be articulated in a few simple words, or can be broken into simple steps.

Consume less.

Say less.

Be less impressed with yourself.

Drink more water.

Breathe.

Be present.

Keep going.

Do one thing differently.

Add one thing to your routine.

Call them.

Begin.

Each of these has been a solution, simply expressed, to different problems in my life.

My best advice for a concrete, approachable solution to your biggest problem is to pray. Trust that the idea, motivation, help, or information you need will be given to you at the perfect time. It will almost always be a simple command or a sequence of simple, actionable steps. Really!