Life according to Angela – Page 76

Last week of May

The last week of May has passed. Richard and Timothy spoke in church. We watched Daniel’s last bell choir concert, had a rocket launch, house guests, a belated birthday cake, a camp out, watched the neighbor kids, and did some gardening. Paige came home for the weekend and I thought we would have a girls’ night on Friday, but the teens came home early from the fathers and sons camp to sleep. We are all worn out from the last weeks of school.

Richard finished the electrical switches for our new fan in the living room and Daniel unearthed all of the offending sprinkler pipe and heads that didn’t make it through the winter. He set out flags around the neighborhood in the early morning hours of Memorial Day. Mark and his friend Adam sold cookies and lemonade for two days on a corner and Mark came home with $15 and a sunburn. Daniel played the piano for seminary graduation.

I cut everyone’s hair while Richard watched Tora, Tora, Tora!, which has a script not unlike an episode of The Flintstones, but gave us the Memorial Day feeling. Paige won for the most hair lost, maybe 8-9 inches. There was smoked chicken, potato salad, and corn on the cob. A Masterpiece Classic movie played on some evenings, and I finished one of the latest Mitford novels. I seem to need those when I am serving in Relief Society.

My least favorite things to read or write on a blog are lists of family activities. However, these little things are important, especially as I see the family beginning to disperse on the wind to college, work, and summer activities.

Prom, Concert, Bear

The boys have reached some milestones and there have been a few nice windows into their lives recently. I am thankful for the things they have experienced during this school year, from academics and new responsibilities, to music, art, and friendships.

Daniel’s independence has always been high, but driving to school and up the freeway to work each day really seals it. He is a good listener and a steadying influence among his friends. It was a very different experience to send him to prom than it was to send Paige. I was glad to have the kids spend some time at our house after the dance.

Timothy is 4-5 inches taller than he was last August. He is a true friend. The way he wears his sleeves at his concerts is just. too. cool.

Mark finished his 4th grade math and grammar over a month ago, so we forge ahead in the 5th grade books, even though we’d both rather be doing other things. He earned his Bear and we bought the big Webelos handbook so we are ready for new challenges.

Extremity

(Image via Pinterest; originally from lisacongdon.com?)

I love comfort. I don’t like change, except maybe new knowledge or skills. Like a pebble in a stream, I want to find the perfect angle of repose, resting on the peaceful part of a gentle curve or at the bottom of a deep pool. But I am learning that my desire for quiet evenings wrapped in a soft blanket aren’t the best ground for my personal growth. It’s really in the extremities of my comfort zone that the Lord shows me what to do. Visiting, reaching out, praying for others besides myself, and being out of my comfortable house are my small sacrifices to gain the gift of charity. This enormous gift of charity is not proportional to my sacrifice, and it’s essential to the work.

A rock in the gentle part of the stream will become slimy, covered in algae, and certainly less beautiful as it just blends in to its surroundings. A rock, tumbling down the stream becomes smooth, clean, and beautiful. It may not be at rest; it may not be comfortable; but a tumbling pebble is moving forward with strength beyond its own. I am learning the ways of a tumbling pebble through some bumps, surges in speed, and lots of discomfort.

My goal is to reach out to someone every day. I knock on doors that I am pretty sure will not open. Sometimes it takes all my will to be brave and make a call or go to an event. I am not always successful, but I keep seeing that it’s in my extremity that I can be most helpful.

One day last week I had one unexpected hour without kids. I loaded my car with a few notes and papers to deliver. During this hour I was invited in to visit at two different houses. I learned that someone was in need of food and I helped with that. I prayed with someone. I saw the miracle of my time becoming magnified. I walked out of the second house the very minute I needed to get home to my kids, without needing to tell the person I was in a hurry. Later that evening, I felt like I needed to deliver one more thing. Once again I didn’t have much time, and I had already been out visiting, but I walked out of the house anyway. Immediately the person I saw said, “I was hoping I could talk to you. I just found out we need some help…. ”

I fail more than I succeed, but I can see that it’s truly the Lord that guides and fuels this work of helping others. And that lesson is much better than my limited, comfortable version of the good life.

Two groups of friends

One thing I have been surprised to see is how our kids have found friends from the same families. The families don’t live close to us; the siblings don’t hang out together; they don’t attend the same schools; our boys have just found similar temperaments and interests in these friends. One night last week, several of them crossed paths at our house. I am thankful that they have good friends.

Family update

Richard is a busy Scoutmaster. One night he took Mark with his Scout troop to tour the State Capitol.

1-DSC_0585 — Mark is in his last weeks as a Bear in Cub Scouts.

1-DSC_0598 — Richard is doing an amazing job working with these boys. Recently, all of the deacons completed their requirements for Duty to God. The incentive? Doughnuts.

1-DSC_1137 — Timothy participated in the school district band concert, the only trombone player from his band to be selected.

1-DSC_1150 — Our tree erupted into masses of blossoms, its boughs weighed down in heroic efforts to be lovely. Seriously, we have never seen such blossoms on our magnificent tree.

1-DSC_1191 — We watched our nephew for a couple of weeks and we resurrected the toys and board books from storage to entertain him.

1-DSC_1192 — Mark is our only baseball player this season, and from now on. If the pitch is good you can count on him to get a hit.

1-DSC_1204 — This is the ONLY quilting I have had time to do in a month, but this English Paper piecing project was mostly done by hand, while watching Fixer Upper on Netflix.

1-1-DSC_0630 — Paige moved out of the dorms and into a little apartment on University Avenue owned by my parents. She is attending school this summer. Over the past few weeks we learned that she received a full scholarship and was accepted into two art programs. She declared her major to be Illustration. Sorry, Paige if I have this project oriented the wrong way. I love it in any direction.

1-DSC_2479 — This is an old picture, but Daniel is elusive. Busy with a new job as a clerk at Geneva Rock, playing piano, and studying for an AP test, he has many interesting conversations with friends about Prom coming up in a few weeks.

1-2016-03-12 015 — Photo by Janine Clarke. When I looked at this picture of our Relief Society choir, the first thought was, a stranger would never guess that the little woman with the messy ponytail on the back row is serving as the Relief Society president. I don’t look presidential. I am young. When I sang in this choir I trembled and thought I was going to fall over from fright. See how weak I am? My calling is hard. I hear sad things and the hardest thing is that I want to run to people all the time, but I can’t and shouldn’t. I am not the solution to anybody’s problems, but I do think I can point them to the real solutions in Christ. I do this with hugs, meals, visits, notes, teaching, and prayer. So much of what I do is on my own, but my counselors and secretary are the very best and hold me up in countless ways, whether it’s encouraging words, powdered sugar late at night, driving, taking over when I am too busy with family emergencies, and teaching me. They also make me laugh. I didn’t know them when I asked for them to be in my presidency, but my Father in Heaven knew I needed them.

My Grandmother’s Obituary

1-DSC_0108 — Photo by Rachel Gee. We attended Richard’s dad’s 80th birthday party in St George. Good times.

Answers

Simplify.

Delegate.

Cancel.

Slow down.

Breathe.

Look at the Sky.

Enjoy those flowers.

Don’t be hard on yourself.

Focus on family now.

You are doing enough.

Visit her now.

Walk away from it.

Decline that request.

That project can wait.

Stay for the whole game.

You don’t need to fix this.

It’s ok that you have limitations.

These are a few of the simple messages that the Spirit taught me this month. Also, it reminded me of this talk by President Uchtdorf.

One of the things we learn from studying the growth of trees is that during seasons when conditions are ideal, trees grow at a normal rate. However, during seasons when growing conditions are not ideal, trees slow down their growth and devote their energy to the basic elements necessary for survival.

…What do you suppose pilots do when they encounter turbulence? A student pilot may think that increasing speed is a good strategy because it will get them through the turbulence faster. But that may be the wrong thing to do. Professional pilots understand that there is an optimum turbulence penetration speed that will minimize the negative effects of turbulence. And most of the time that would mean to reduce your speed. The same principle applies also to speed bumps on a road.

Therefore, it is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials when experiencing adverse conditions.

This is a simple but critical lesson to learn. It may seem logical when put in terms of trees or turbulence, but it’s surprising how easy it is to ignore this lesson when it comes to applying these principles in our own daily lives. When stress levels rise, when distress appears, when tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up the same frantic pace or even accelerate, thinking somehow that the more rushed our pace, the better off we will be.

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Of Things that Matter Most,” October 2010

4-24-16

The morning my grandmother died, and before I got the call, I gathered these flowers from my yard. How appropriate that as memories of her come into focus, every window, and nearly every surface of the house offers a view of flowers. The impression that my grandmother’s sparkly, selfless, beautiful spirit has left causes me to sit up a little straighter, not complain, give generously, and offer a polished, ladylike response at some times, and at others, try (unsuccessfully)not to giggle during the prayer. Popcorn, flags, red things, and heirlooms are good. Pierced ears, sloppy nails, and wearing t-shirts at church are not so good. I think that I will never sit with someone with such elegance and dignity again.

Relief Society message

I give a 5-minute message at the beginning of our weekday Relief Society activity which happens 9-10 times a year.. This is the message I shared last night at our service activity. We had sisters ages 8 and older there, preparing fleece blankets, cards, framed gospel art, and necklaces for people in El Salvador. I told someone I would post my message because she wasn’t able to be there. I stumbled a little as I spoke, trying to remember what I prepared to say without reading from my notes. This is the more complete version of what I hoped to say.

When I was about 10-years-old, I was invited to participate with the Relief Society in a quilting activity. I came by myself because my mom wasn’t able to attend. I walked to the church and sat down next to my white-haired neighbor. The sisters showed me how to thread the needle and begin the stitches on the quilt that rested before us in the frame. My stitches weren’t tiny like the others, but I remember the women were so kind to me and said I was doing a good job. I ran home at dinnertime and told my mom I wanted to go back and spend some more time quilting.

Why do I remember this experience? I have an idea, but first I want to develop it with another story.

Just before Jesus went to Jerusalem for the last time, he was in Bethany, in the home of Simon the leper and a woman having an alabaster box of precious, expensive oil came and anointed Jesus’ head. (Mark 14) Some thought it a “waste” of precious money. Jesus said, “Let her alone; why trouble ye her? She hath wrought a good work on me…She hath done what she could: she is come aforehand to anoint my body to the burying.” In other words, he taught that her generous act showed that she understood that he was the Christ (The Anointed One).

Jesus also said, “Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached throughout the whole world, this also that she hath done shall be spoken of her for a memorial of her.” In the Gospel of Mark, the woman is not named, but her action is. Through her act, she testified of Christ.

Going back to my experience as a 10-year-old girl, quilting with the Relief Society sisters, perhaps I remember this experience because this was my first glimpse into what Relief Society really is: more than a club, more than a class, more than a place to go. It is the Lord’s organization for women of covenant, where women again and again do as the unnamed woman disciple: we do what we can to show that Jesus is the Christ. I couldn’t have put it into these words when I was ten, but I felt something special was going on with these sisters.

Beyond quilts and casseroles, we are true disciples when are patient with weaknesses in others and in ourselves, giving the benefit of the doubt. We do what we can and allow the Lord to make up the difference. Relief Society is one way the Lord helps us keep our baptismal covenant to always remember him and keep his commandments to serve others. I hope you remember that as you serve. You are a woman or young woman of covenant.

Holes in the wall

If the book club is meeting at our house, I will need to redecorate for weeks beforehand. Even after this, the gallery wall will need to be rearranged the day of the meeting, still to no effective end.

If I am arranging a gallery wall, I can’t handle climbing into the attic to place the bucket in the usual spot when the roof starts leaking. Richard will need to come home and do it because my mind can only juggle so much.

The gallery wall isn’t really what occupies my mind the most; it’s the new baby in the ward and a neighbor grieving; illnesses and milestones in people’s lives that I want to help them face; it’s juggling motherhood and being a wife; It’s worry for my grandmother who has had a major stroke. But I obsess about the gallery wall.

I need to do something that doesn’t involve making more holes in the wall, I think.

How we testify

jesus-comforts-mary-martha-1104492-print — Jesus wept.

We came home from our trip to a tragedy in our next door neighbor’s family. These last 4 days I have had a unique vantage point, being a witness of a huge outpouring of support for our neighbors. Many have called me, asking what they can do. I spent some precious time with my neighbors, crying and reminiscing. I have carried florist deliveries to them in the evenings when they have come home, weary and spent.

We draw strength from one another. So many times I have gone to a funeral or visited a person who is grieving and it is my faith that has been strengthened, when I hoped it would be the other way around. It’s sometimes in our deepest grief that we have an opportunity to testify in the most powerful ways. My neighbors and their family have testified of a loving Heavenly Father who knows all things; of the Son of God, who makes it possible to return to our loved ones; of the Holy Ghost who is a steady comforter, sometimes offering sparks of light in the darkness.

I feel strength from their testimony, shared at this nightmarish time. I feel strength from people around us, willing to mourn, ready to serve, and anxious to lift. Our actions during difficulties define what we really believe. Christ lives! We are his hands. We will be there for one another.