I felt a nudge to clean out two boxes of journals and memorabilia last week. From reams of paper from my teenage and college years, I pulled a thin collection of excerpts to keep. Most pages landed solidly in the trash bin, but the process of sorting was enlightening. Here are some takeaways:
I have come a long way and overcome a lot.
I still have some patterns of thought that began in childhood that I need to conquer.
My family will not have to sort through this trash someday. Thank goodness.
Not every thought and emotion is accurate and worthy to keep.
My words awoke some empathy for what young women experience during these years.
The writing I kept:
Anything about my family
A few entries about my friends
Violin and science achievements
Goals
Especially funny and memorable experiences
Expressions of my testimony of Jesus Christ
I have always intended to leave behind a written record of my life, but it will be edited for content and length. (Says the woman who has also written thousands of blog posts. 😉)
I attended this young lady’s temple endowment this week and it was one of the biggest honors of my life to be included.
I remember my grandmother using the same word, “honored,” as she accompanied me for my endowment. I noted this, but didn’t understand why she would say it until I learned the significance of temple covenants for myself.
I think my grandmother understood that she was witnessing the sacred acts that would bring Heavenly Father closer to me and allow the Atonement of Jesus Christ to do its work in me…enabling me to overcome anything.
What an honor it is to witness the stunning grace of God for a loved one.
And we ask thee, Holy Father, that thy servants may go forth from this house armed with thy power, and that thy name may be upon them, and thy glory be round about them, and thine angels have charge over them;
Sixteen years today I began writing this blog. What do I think of that? I think it’s probably more than almost anyone needs or wants to read. But the blog is a personal accomplishment and I celebrate this milestone. Thanks for reading. 🩷
Little W— is one. 💙
Today I am also celebrating Mark, who has been a missionary for six months. He is serving in the mission office for a few hours a day and talking to people for the rest of the time. I miss him. It is hard to have him gone, but I know it’s the best thing. Perhaps I am more yielded and still about it than I think.
A block tower in honor of Mark, who always builds one during general conference. ♥️🐒
I have learned that Heavenly Father wants to give us experiences with his kingdom in our lives right now, not just in the afterlife. The following parables in Matthew 13 teach us how.
Life in the kingdom begins with small acts of faith and becomes a beautiful home, providing shelter and protection from the world. Others will be drawn to it, so all kinds of personalities will be in this “tree.”There is room to sit together and figure out life.
Small acts of faith bring great blessings because God is generous.The benefits of the kingdom impact all areas of life, and can bless the people within the believer’s influence.
The kingdom is the source of joy and will require the sacrifice of all worldly things to attain it.
It’s something we must seek, and nothing compares in value. It will be the pinnacle of life’s labors.
Great pains will be given to gather all, but eventually, only those who choose to obey may stay.
So, in whatever way you are experiencing the kingdom of heaven in your life: seeking answers, finding shelter, rejoicing, sacrificing, repenting, feeling pulled away from your old life…this is all part of the plan to gather you home to the Father.
I know His will for us is so, so good, so let’s hold on together.
Here are some of my thoughts from a recent study of Doctrine and Covenants 25.
One thing I have misread in scripture with my modern eyes is the instruction to Emma Smith that her “time shall given to writing.” The Lord wasn’t telling her to be a writer or historian while running a 19th century household. Occasionally, she was to write as a scribe for Joseph. She was also to write in preparation to expound scripture and exhort the church.
I have found guidance and wisdom from this section of scripture all my life. One reason I misunderstood what the Lord was telling Emma was because the Spirit was inspiring me to actually be awriter through these words.
This scripture is still instructive to me. Like it was for Emma, my efforts to write help me learn new things. With this knowledge, I can amplify the gospel of Jesus Christ within my circle of influence.
In writing about faith and sharing glimpses of family life on the blog these past 16 years, I don’t think I’ve expressed anything new. However, I have come to see truth more clearly, so I have “learn[ed] much!”
I have a sort of pen pal that I exchange texts with once a week. This friend is a neighbor and I see her often, but there is something special about those Saturday check-in texts. For years we have shared a range of ideas, from little experiences to really important milestones.
Here is something that I wrote to my pen pal recently. This is an example of how sharing a story in writing helped me find a lesson from the experience and a flaw in my thinking.
Normally, when I talk to homeschool moms, they are not interested in anything I have to offer, including books that I am willing to give away. I pulled many homeschool books from my shelves this month to donate to DI, but decided to send photos of the books to some homeschool friends first. Within seconds, some claimed books via text, and within an hour, most of them were collected from the house. It took my breath away to see so many of my treasures leave the house, but it felt good to see that they will be appreciated in their new homes. The lesson for me is that the photos of the books, sent via text, were more effective than an open invitation to come take some books anytime. It seems obvious now, but I spent a lot of time thinking people weren’t interested. They just needed details and a deadline. 😄
Studying personality types is interesting to me. I have learned that a perfect day for my personality will involve studying and writing, listening and advising, having a project to work on independently, and some beauty for the senses.
Richard went on an overnight trip with the young men over the weekend. I wanted to avoid my usual pattern of desolately cleaning the house and watching a movie while he was away. So, I planned a weekend of writing, making gifts, eating out, and exploring an antique shop. Becky and Sarah joined me for lunch and shopping. Our time together was so good.
I never got around to cleaning, but I fed my fundamental needs for learning, impact, independence, and beauty.
One of the things I did in 2013 was play in the stake musical production. Here I am with Tevye playing Tradition! from Fiddler on the Roof. 🔥
As I paged through a journal I wrote in 2013, I was amazed at the things I did that year. All of our children were still living at home, so beyond the things I recorded in the journal, there were so many meals, so much laundry, and so much driving. One line stands out to me from this journal,
“My favorite sin right now is haste.”
By “haste” I meant that I didn’t take enough time to be still.
In 2025, haste is no longer a favorite sin. I have been given the gift to be still. True, I have less laundry and cooking to do now, but there are a few more dominant forces during the last 12 years that taught me to slow down.
Saying goodbye to Tim, 2021
First, the years of decision arrived for our children with college, missions, marriage, and beyond. I realized that the most important thing I can do for my children is pray for them. And when they ask for advice, I need an arsenal of inspired wisdom. I choose stillness so I can feel assurances of peace concerning my children and to help my children.
In the hospital, 2020
Second, I had poor health for an extended time which taught me to slow down. I was forced to stop filling my life with non-essentials. I learned to sit on the couch and listen to my family. I didn’t miss being busy, so as my health returned, I remained more present and unhurried.
The women who served with me 2019-2024
Third, I had church callings that stretched me to study deeply. We had unprecedented and perplexing issues to handle, so I had to be still so I could see the path forward. I was perplexed so often that stillness became a habit.
This exercise of looking back over 12 years of personal growth shows me that my Father in Heaven works through many means to help me change. He wasn’t the cause of my difficulties, but he helped me to use these obstacles as stepping stones toward rest.
…my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
In many of our neighbors’ lives there is much…exquisite goodness which can never be written or even spoken–only divined by each of us, according to the inward instruction of our own privacy.
