Category: Life according to Angela

Ramble

Richard and I spent time in Salt Lake City to celebrate our anniversary. The hills north of downtown were verdant and vibrant. These hills are usually straw yellow, but the grasses were young and bright.

The high school flags line the front of the school, the last concerts are over, and a new class graduates this week. Time is so compressed for me lately, it doesn’t feel like a year since Tim graduated. But then again, our lives are so different now, that time must have carried us to this new place. We certainly haven’t arrived at this end of another school year by any conscious, overriding plan of our own. We just kept working and kept moving, and here we are.

Here is an important quote I keep using as I see complexities in how to balance love of God and love of neighbor (thanks to my mom for this one),

“Ignoring the first commandment, or reversing the order of the first and second commandments, risks a loss of balance in life and destructive deviations from the path of happiness and truth. Love of God and submission to Him provide checks against our tendency to corrupt virtues by pushing them to the extreme. Compassion for our neighbor’s distress, for example, even when the suffering is brought about by his or her own transgression, is noble and good. But an unbridled compassion could lead us, … to question God’s justice and misunderstand His mercy.

“There are those, for example, who believe that loving others means we must twist or ignore God’s laws in a way or ways that advocate or condone sin.” (Christofferson, The First Commandment First, 2022 BYU Devotional)

I work in the yard each day, trying to reclaim sections of neglected areas. It’s so satisfying. Dirt outside and thread and fabric inside are my materials for work lately. In June, I will move to paint as my medium, as we cover more surfaces in my grand plan (many years old) to repaint every inch of the house.

Someone asked me what we are doing this summer. A wedding. Two family reunions. Drivers Ed. A trip to Yellowstone. High Adventure. Pioneer Trek. These are big events, and this is my last morning with Mark at school for a little while. I just keep moving and keep working, and here we are.

Deuteronomy

I thought of this quote by William Tyndale as I studied Deuteronomy this week.

This is a book worthy to be read in day and night and never to be out of hands. For it is the most excellent of all the books of Moses. It is also easy and light and a very pure gospel that is to wete [know], a preaching of faith and love: deducing the love to God out of faith, and the love of man’s neighbor out of love to God.”

William Tyndale

Some of my favorite words from Deuteronomy:

“Fear not, neither be discouraged.” (Deut. 1:21)

“God so nigh” (Deut. 4:7)

“Take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget.” (Deuteronomy 4:9)

“Out of heaven he made thee to hear his voice.” (Deut. 4:36)

“Thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” (Deut. 6:5)

“Thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children…talk of them…in thy house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” (Deut. 6:7)

“Love ye therefore the stranger.” (Deut. 10:19)

“Open thine hand wide unto [thy poor brother].” (Deut. 15:7-8)

“Thou shalt rejoice in every good thing which the LORD thy God hath given unto thee.” (Deut 26:11)

“Choose life…for he is thy life.” (Deut. 29:19-20)

“But the word is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth, and in thy heart, that thou mayest do it.” (Deut. 30:14)

“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” (Deut. 31:6)

“Happy art thou, O Israel: who is like unto thee, O people saved by the LORD, the shield of thy help.” (Deut. 33:29)

Do you have a favorite passage from your study? If you like, you can share in the comments or send me a message. I love to swap favorite scriptures.

herein lies the difference

I don’t believe in astrology, but I have noticed some noise about Mercury in retrograde? and something about a moon phase this week… Wouldn’t it be convenient if I could blame my blunders of the week on the planets and stars instead of my own flaws and mistakes? Richard has found me in a fetal position a few times this week, feeling so vulnerable about my choices and my words, even my opportunities. We face life together, and are dealing with many of the same things. But somehow, while I am still trying to muster energy to go to the grocery store, he has been able to get going and take Mark for a ride in the convertible to buy ice cream…at 9:00 am. I wish I could be more like Richard today.

Mother’s Day Table

Richard took these photos of our Mother’s Day table. 💕

I used flowers from our yard and photographs of our mothers and grandmothers to decorate the table. Richard did most of the cooking, and it was a delicious meal.

Smoked chicken

Mashed potatoes

Green salad

Homemade fan rolls

Eclairs

Apple pie with whipped cream

We had nine at the table tonight, including my parents, and we were joined by Tim in a video call after dinner. 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 Ten happy faces.

We had a Mother’s Day show and tell, where we could tell a memory or show an object to represent our moms. I loved hearing what people shared, even though I realized late in the game that some anecdotes were going to be about me. It’s funny, but I don’t really think of Mother’s Day as being about “me.” It felt good to have my mom here to celebrate her.

Walking and Talking

We’ve reached a moment of decision in the Old Testament curriculum this year. Before now, we studied every chapter, but recently, we began to move ahead more rapidly, with only selected chapters to read. I had to ask myself, “Will I read all, or just the assigned chapters?” I have decided to read ’em all, because I can.

So, today I studied Leviticus 26, even though it wasn’t on the list. If you have a minute, Leviticus 26:3-13 is really worth reading. It’s basically a list of promises to covenant Israel.

Take a look at the Hebrew footnote “a” in verse 9. It says the Lord will “turn unto” his covenant keeping people. This image is beautiful. All of these verses teach me that he is attentive, protective, and wants to walk among us.

I love that the Lord promises he will “walk among” us! To me, this indicates the need to be with other covenant people. If I surround myself with people of faith, this also increases the Lord’s influence on my life. For if he is inspiring me, he is inspiring others of faith. This is one reason I attend church. The most important reason, though, is to maintain my personal covenant relationship with God.

When I think of the Lord walking with me personally, I think of the steep roads I must climb. He is there. I think of the times I get hurt. He is there. I think of the confusion I feel sometimes. He is there, teaching me. After all, what is a walk without conversation?

My hope is to be able to hear him and notice him better among those of faith, and in my own private reaching. It’s not a question of him being there or not. It is whether I will recognize him. He keeps his covenants.

Not pictured

Not pictured are the friends I meet with each month to sew. These friendships and conversations are the real treasure from my time quilting, not the blocks and quilts.

When I see a project, whether it is a room I have painted, a sewing project, or piece of art, it often triggers memories of the circumstances when I created it.

These blocks, once sewn into a quilt, will probably remind me of long, important conversations, delicious snacks and meals shared with these friends, and their righteous influence in my life.

Colorful life

This past week we had Paige and Michael in New York City, Timothy in Vancouver, Daniel in Provo taking finals, Mark with friends, Richard downstairs, and I… in my usual chair.

Actually, there is a lot more to it. Adjusting and growing are tasks that aren’t always visible or noteworthy. I see each member of our family making great progress in many areas.

I am kind of circling in flight lately. (See this post.) Perhaps you, too, are in a time of adjustment. If so, let’s not be too hard on ourselves or too harsh in criticism of the situation. Let’s trust the process.

April 14 letter

photo by Rachel Angela Photography

Dear friend,

I write as I listen to the machinery getting started in my neighborhood. Today, it is an excavator removing a lawn. I have placed my chair so I don’t have to watch, but I can’t escape the sounds. Construction sounds and large trucks and vehicles parked all over the street make for a congested scene.

This week marks the second anniversary of my surgery and long adjustment to a new diet. At least I can still eat candy. And with great sincerity, I want to say I am grateful for my life!

My grandmother taught me to use a timer for tasks. Recently, I set a 10-minute timer in each room I wanted to clean. In an hour, I had done more than I expected because I didn’t have time to get distracted. Also, each day I set a 3-hour timer in the late mornings where I am not supposed to touch my phone. I am in need of all such remedial helps.

When I get Instagram friend requests from teen girls in my neighborhood, I bite my clenched fist and wonder if I should accept. I don’t want to contribute to their social angst. I can’t be counted upon to respond to all their content, and I feel a responsibility to provide some of my own steadying content for their feeds. I am currently so disgusted with social media, and what the creators have knowingly done to girls and women, and therefore families. I am sad that so many women-run businesses depend upon an ever-changing and impossible algorithm to promote their brands.

I finished Brothers Karamazov this week. (If you’re curious, to pronounce it, there is an emphasis on the second a.) I read it to gain some wisdom, but mostly felt baffled by the incongruous mixture of content: murder, monastic life, courtroom scenes, debauchery, betrayal, suicide, mentoring children…It was Dostoyevsky’s last book, and I guess he had things he wanted to say.

A few of quotes from the book,

There are souls which, in their limitation, blame the whole world. But subdue such a soul with mercy, show it love, and it will curse its past, for there are many good impulses in it. Such a heart will expand and see that God is merciful and that men are good and just.

Despair and penitence are two very different things.

Ah, man should be dissolved in prayer.

Don’t be like everyone else, even if you are the only one.

Cana of Galilee, the first miracle… Ah, that miracle! Ah, that sweet miracle! It was not men’s grief, but their joy Christ visited. He worked his first miracle to help men’s gladness.

When you are left alone, pray

And even though your light was shining, yet you see men were not saved by it, hold firm and doubt not the heavenly light. Believe that if they were not saved, they will be saved hereafter, then their sons will be saved, for your light will not die when you are dead. The righteous man departs, but his light remains.

Prayer is an education.

Must… Stop… Quoting… Dostoyevsky…

Recently, we arrived at the first gathering of young men and women at our house with Mark, our baby, as host. I remember the shock of our first girl-boy party when it arrived for Daniel. I smile to see that some younger siblings mirror their older sisters’ steps into our house.

Richard is the only person I know who has a weight lifting bench that he uses regularly.

Daniel is getting married in July, and it occurs to me that I never got around to hanging those shelves he wanted in his bedroom. It is too late now. Don’t get me wrong, this is not the only thing I think I have neglected in my teaching and caring of him. Insert end of an era kind of emotions here.

Richard and I were able to get appointments at the Draper temple on Good Friday. I love this temple more than any other, and I am so glad they are back to (I think) full capacity.

Well, this has been an indulgent and rambling letter. Take what you need, and try to forget the rest. Thank you for taking time to check in.

Love,

A.

Wednesday study

This morning, I have been studying this document about the Restoration of the Church of Jesus Christ. I assigned colors to the following topics and began marking:

  • God the Father (bold yellow)
  • His Son, Jesus Christ (narrow yellow)
  • Joseph Smith (blue)
  • Invitations, i.e.what are we to DO with this information? (orange dots)
  • Truths about who we are as God’s children and how He relates to us (green)
  • Things restored that were lost (red dots), and by whom they were restored (pink)

I will mark more another time:

  • Purposes the Book of Mormon–Another Testament of Jesus Christ
  • Prophecies about the future of the Church of Jesus Christ
  • Blessings the Church offers

Joseph Smith’s name is mentioned only 3 times, but you can see how often God the Father and Jesus Christ are mentioned. (See yellow markings). It shines out to me that we are taught that God loves all of His Children and the heavens are open to us.

I recommend this practice of using color and symbols during scripture or gospel study. You could make a photocopy of a page of scripture and really go for it, not worrying about permanent markings in your scriptures.

Restoration Proclamation here:

restoration-proclamation-2020-april-1

Later…

I just realized that as of today, I have been writing this blog for 13 years. Happy birthday, old bloggy.