Author: Angela

I write so my family will always have letters from home.

Letting go

Our kids are well beyond the kindergarten stage, so why have I kept their school papers all these years?

Denial that they are grown and gone

Nostalgia for those sweet days with our kids

Avoiding emotions

These papers are proof that I accomplished something as a home educator.

NO MORE. This week I got rid of nearly all my children’s home school papers, saving just a few things that make my heart flip. I have emptied several shelves this week, yet somehow the bookcases are still full. My random piles of books are finding homes on the empty shelves, and I am gaining momentum in my ability to part with things.

Educating my children was a big part of my life, so this process of parting with papers is emotional. I have learned that most children are not sentimental about their school projects, so there is no need to save much. I know now that whatever I save is mainly for me. Understanding this has made the process much easier. I remind myself that I don’t need every writing sample, but I would like a few pages of each child’s writing and some special projects and art. This script made it possible for me to part with several armloads of paper and workbooks, which I lowered into the garbage can, carefully, as I would into a grave.

It occurs to me that keeping a small, curated collection is a greater tribute to these years than a bunch of binders bursting with paper.

After each session of cleaning, I comfort myself by reading or cross stitching. All these realizations and diversions help me to face the task of letting go.

I’m almost finished with this one. Do you recognize it? It is based on a Klimt painting called The Kiss. I love the colors.

Harvest

On Sundays, I visit various Primaries, and sometimes I am really aware of my outsider status. I move in a different orbit than my family and most friends. I came home last Sunday depleted and full of insecurities about the way I had interacted with people that day. My reaction to the day was mainly because I was tired and hungry, and I am just fine after some rest and a serendipitous find.

Today, as I removed some old books from a bookcase, I uncovered two albums of notes that were written to me from friends at church. I hadn’t looked at them in years. I read page after page of thank you’s, encouragements, and kind observations, and this restored some of what I have lacked lately: a steady dose of my ward friends. These notes are part of a harvest I have enjoyed from my past church callings.

The harvest from my church service, past and present, continues. I have wonderful friends, my children have learned how to serve, and I can fall back on so many life lessons from my experiences. I also see that our sacrifices have yielded blessings that I can’t name, as they are personal, steady, and continue to catch me by surprise. God is very generous.

Neighborhood Gathering

I hope these familiar faces continue to also feel like a novelty. I won’t forget their kind acts when we have experienced sickness, grief, and storms. May these people who have cheered for our children understand what that has meant to us. May they see that we love them. May we appreciate the blessing that it is to gather. I hope they always feel welcome in our home.

no other gift

This is the first gift that I bestowed upon you; and I have commanded that you should pretend to no other gift until my purpose is fulfilled in this; for I will grant unto you no other gift until it is finished.

Doctrine and Covenants 4:5

Sometimes I feel restless for the next step. We are almost finished raising children at home and I feel interested to know where to put my energy.

Some insight came last week as I studied the Doctrine and Covenants. This verse is about the gift of translation for Joseph Smith, but I learned a few things about my own situation from these words.

My phase of life is a gift. These are important, poignant days in our family.

I don’t need all the gifts at once.

There will be other gifts when this phase is finished.

I need to be patient and see this through.

There is no need to pretend a work other than the one the Lord has planned for me. It is enough.

Projects update

I can’t stop making these little cross stitch pictures, and I can finish one in about a week. Since our piano has been in the shop, Mark and I have spent a lot of time at the church so he can practice the piano and organ in the chapel. I sit and listen, stitch, and rest. I give these little creations as gifts to friends, and the pictures leave my shelves almost as quickly as I can produce them. I post them here as a record that they were made.

If I keep working, I might have a Dresden plate quilt to show for the year. I don’t feel any rush to finish this quilt, which is nice, so I can enjoy the process.

I can look back at photos of a quilt, doll, or cross stitch project and remember the circumstances around their creation. I remember who was with me while I worked. I recall the stresses and joys of the time. I remember the loved ones for whom they were made. Creation is tied to life, and it doesn’t seem to matter what I create, whether it is with fabrics, home decor, paint, or words, my creations hold my history.

To the degree

Today, the repeated phrase, “to the degree” stood out to me.

“Good women of the world will be drawn to the Church… to the degree that women of the Church”:

  1. Reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives.
  2. Are seen as distinct and different–in happy ways– from the women of the world.

To the degree implies we can grow in our ability to repent, be seen, and be understood.

To the degree implies that we choose the depth of our discipleship to Christ. We also choose the level by which we are seen as disciples.

To the degree implies that our potential influence is vast.

What will we do with this call to be different, to reflect righteousness, to articulate truth, to have the courage to be seen?

She is incredible

Winner’s celebration

My mom made and donated some really beautiful quilts for an auction in her small town to benefit local church youth programs.

Her beehive quilt sold for the highest price of all the items at the auction!

In the photo above, the happy lady who bought the quilt is wearing a gray shirt and she stands behind my mom, celebrating. This was so fun to watch.

My mom also made a baby quilt with the most gorgeous colors which was also popular at the auction. My mom is quite a person.

This is the quilt before it was quilted and bound. Her friend machine quilted it, with different patterns in each block and on the borders. It was absolutely amazing.
The baby quilt at auction

Autumn shelves

I thought I’d do my part to conjure some autumn temperatures by removing the patriotic summer things from these shelves.

It’s still hot, but I feel better having something different to look at. This is a collection of mostly old things, arranged in a new way, and the sight is rejuvenating to me.