Structuring home life with children

Over a year ago, someone asked me to write my advice for someone who was a new homeschooler. I haven’t talked about homeschool on this blog in many years, but I had an interesting moment this morning where I not only remembered this email, but felt a strong urge to post it here.

I think most of these points apply to anyone trying to structure home life with children, especially during the summer, so take what you need, and forget the rest.

1. Pray first thing as a family every day. Establish routines for start time, subjects, breaks, and lunch. Consider scripture time a daily subject.

2. Do things regularly with other families. It is good that kids play with children of all ages.

3. Choose a curriculum strong in language arts and math. Have a plan for the year, each month, week, and every day.

4. Steel yourself to criticism from those who don’t understand what you are accomplishing.

5. Go on dates with your husband without the kids.

6. Fill your house with books of all kinds and read, read, read together and independently.

7. Find a friend with whom you can share your experiences so school and children aren’t the only things you talk about with your husband.

8. Plan unstructured time for kids to explore their own interests. Their interests can propel their desire to read, write, and learn how to be proactive learners.

9. Celebrate achievements with certificates or stickers or whatever makes your kids happy. Don’t feel like you have to mirror a public school classroom with big charts, etc. You can do simple, meaningful things to track progress.

10. Go outside together or do crafts when things get too intense in the house.

11. Explore nature, go to museums, run and play, visit the elderly, take art classes, make collections together. Some of the best advice I received was to play with playdough with my children. Your children will need to help around the house, too. You can’t do everything yourself.

12. Look at every subject as a means to increase reading and writing skills.

13. Take pictures and cherish the time together. Don’t broadcast everything on social media. Honor your children’s privacy in learning and development.

14. Listen for and expect the Lord to lead you in small things and big things. Heavenly Father is even more interested in helping your children progress than you are, so be willing to accept answers that aren’t part of your original plan.

15. You can contact me if you want to talk. I was a homeschool mom for 14 years.

Art by Paige, around 2010

Change

Richard has a new church calling as a counselor in the bishopric. I have seen him shine in this role before, and I know that he will do a great job.

I have not been released from my church calling, so Sundays will be extra full for all of us. I don’t mind.

Moments we don’t think to capture

This photo doesn’t represent how they were really sitting before the camera entered the room. It is more like a study in awkwardness. 😂

Mark’s summer schedule is pretty clear this month, then ramps up in July and August. We have seen a lot of his friends in June, and despite all the time together, we haven’t thought to capture a picture of these kids in their habitat in our basement. Of course, when we thought to take the photo, the pose wasn’t ideal, but all well. In two blinks one of these friends will be away at college. In a few more blinks, they will be serving missions.

Fitting everything into 400 cubic feet of space for shipping. ✔️

A good friend is moving to Brazil, and a few of us gathered to help. I have spent so much time with this friend over the years, and I have maybe three photos to show for it. I wish I had taken pictures of the fun things we did together.

Rest

Painting By Walter Rane

In my Father’s house are many mansions:…I go to prepare a place for you.

John 14:2

Recently, I learned the original Greek word, monai, which became a Latinized version of mansions in this passage, actually means stopping places or resting stations. So, the original passage would be something like, In my Father’s house are many stopping places or resting stations, “thus giving the impression of a long journey rather than a large estate.”*

This makes me think of the mission of Jesus Christ in a new way. He prepares places to rest, not just at the end of our journey, but every day. These resting stations allow us to continue on the journey after a brief pause to be strengthened or encouraged, forgiven, and healed.

We need stopping places where we can have our injuries dressed and find the comfort of a Healer.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Every day, we need a stopping place to repent, and an ideal to follow.

Listen to him who is the advocate with the Father, who is pleading your cause before him—

Saying: Father, behold the sufferings and death of him who did no sin, in whom thou wast well pleased; behold the blood of thy Son which was shed, the blood of him whom thou gavest that thyself might be glorified;

Wherefore, Father, spare these my brethren that believe on my name, that they may come unto me and have everlasting life.

Doctrine and Covenants 45:3-5

Every day, we need a resting station to receive encouragement.

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

Where, then, are these resting stations in our lives? Perhaps some physical places come to mind, and maybe some less tangible things, such as behaviors or blessings can be “places” of rest. Whatever the image of rest, I know that the Savior’s understanding, power, and presence are involved.

*Concepts and quote about the Greek translation are from C. Wilfred Griggs, “The Last Supper According to John,” From the Last Supper through the Resurrection: The Savior’s Final Hours, ed. Richard Nietzel Holzapfel and Thomas Wayment, p. 116.

Special

Even though our numbers at family dinners are small, I still set a special table on Sundays. The rest of the week, we sit on bar stools around the kitchen island and eat from basic plates and drink from plastic cups. Whatever the setting, dinnertime is a sacred family rhythm. Amen.

June 17 visit

Here are some scenes from Spring Lake as we visited my dad to celebrate Father’s Day one day early. The strong people worked on cutting down dead trees and digging up stumps. My dad took us to lunch at a Mexican restaurant and I left him with a pan of homemade lemon bars.

Sweet pork salads and burritos

Today I’m sharing our favorite recipes for sweet pork, cilantro lime rice, and cilantro lime ranch salad dressing. Think Cafe Rio. Yum.

Add some fresh tortillas, black beans, pico de gallo, cheese, lettuce, corn chips, and guacamole, and you are ready for a party. Our family loves this meal, and I estimate it serves 12 people.

I like to prepare the meat and dressing ahead of time, then it is an easy Sunday dinner or party menu.

Crock Pot Sweet Pork

  • 3 lb pork (boneless roast, country style ribs, etc.)
  • 1 chopped onion
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced (optional)
  • 3 T butter

Sauté onion and garlic in butter. Put roast in crock pot and cover with the sautéed onion and garlic. Cook 3 hours on high (or low equivalent). DRAIN. You can add the juice later to taste. Refrigerate the liquid and skim the fat if you want to add this liquid later.

If possible, shred the pork. If it is still tough, you can shred it before serving. Mix the following ingredients and pour over the pork in the crock pot:

  • 2 T. soy sauce
  • 3/4 c. lemon juice
  • 1 1/2 c. brown sugar
  • 1 t. salt
  • 1/2 t. pepper

Cook an additional 2 hours on high (or low equivalent) in the crock pot. Shred the pork and and serve with tortillas, rice, beans, etc. for salads or burritos.

Cilantro Lime Rice

  • 2 c. rice
  • 2 c. chicken broth
  • 2 c. water
  • 2 T butter
  • 1 clove garlic, minced (optional)
  • 1 handful of cilantro, finely chopped
  • 1/2 lime, juiced
  • 1, 4-oz. can diced green chiles

Pour everything into a rice cooker and follow product instructions. Or, to cook in a pot, heat liquids to a boil, add the rice and other ingredients, cover, reduce heat to low, and cook for 20-30 min., or until tender.

Remove the lid, fluff with a fork, add salt to taste, and serve.

Cilantro Lime Ranch Salad Dressing (Cafe Rio Style)

  • 3 T. salsa verde (green salsa with tomatillos)
  • 1/4 t. cayenne pepper
  • 1 small pkg (3 T.) ranch dressing mix
  • 1 c. mayonnaise
  • 1/2 c. sour cream
  • 1/3-1/2 c. milk
  • 1/2 bunch of cilantro, including stems
  • Juice of 1 lime

Mix together in a blender until smooth. 💃

A Hug

A few years ago, we were taught by a visiting leader in a stake conference that every major writer in the Book of Mormon used the imagery of a hug to teach the Atonement of Christ, with words such as clasped or encircled. He challenged us to search for these passages. As I have studied, I have found other words, including clothed to convey the effects of the Savior’s Atonement. Here are some examples:

  1. Nephi, in a time of grief, pleads with the Lord to “encircle [him] in the robe of righteousness.” (2 Nephi 4:33)
  2. Lehi tells his family just before his death that he is “encircled about eternally in the arms of [God’s] love.” (2 Nephi 1:15)
  3. Jacob teaches that the “righteous…are clothed with purity, even with the robe of righteousness.” (2 Nephi 9:14)
  4. Alma quotes Ammon, about those who repent, “They are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love.” Ammon also says that the repentant are  “snatched from their awful, sinful, and polluted state.” (Alma 26:15, 17)
  5. Alma, quoting Amulek, “[God’s mercy] Encircles them in the arms of safety.” (Alma 34:16)
  6. Mormon writes that if the people had repented, they would have been “clasped in the arms of Jesus.” (Mormon 5:11)

What stands in the way of receiving this kind of love and mercy? I think it’s our own cherished ideas, flawed perceptions, our pride, and our shame. Thus the need for humility and faith.

I don’t think it trivializes the Atonement of Christ to liken it to an embrace, being snatched from ruin, clothed with righteousness, or being held during a difficult time. The more I think about it, the more I want to share it.

Constant He is, and kind, Love without end.

Where Can I Turn for Peace, LDS Hymn #129

Post-Typhoon Missionary Life

Butane stoves to cook things they buy that day, since there is no power.
A modified zone conference held in the mission home instead of their chapel which is damaged. This is an international group of missionaries!
Elder Ross drives this mission vehicle.

Missionaries have either power and no water, or water and no power in their apartments. Cell service is still out for most areas. They are serving every day to help clear debris from the storm. This week, they also helped a school custodian sweep water from classrooms and went to the governor’s office to help fill containers with water to distribute to people.