Letters from Home

A Farewell

My Great Aunt Susan has died of cancer. There’s no poetry about that disease. In quiet moments I look for photos so I can say goodbye, or maybe so I can stop saying goodbye. These photos were posted by her best friend Marsha and my cousin Laura on Facebook.

I’m grateful for my cousin Laura who could be there through her illness and meet Susan’s needs in a very particular way.

When the wildflowers bloom at the Weber, I’ll remember her. Her parties will always be the standard. I love how she gave commemorative gifts for special occasions. I miss her laugh. She knew how to make people feel special.

She did it!

My mom graduated from BYU this week.

It was such a happy occasion.

This is the family who came to cheer for her.

The Sanchez girls are all BYU graduates now. Here are a few of the grandchildren. I asked Matthew to move his hair so at least one eye was visible for the photo. Anna thought that I was talking to everyone, so she’s doing her best to just show only one eye. Oh, that girl makes me smile. We drove down to Spring Lake and had a big party. Susan decorated the yard with flags and the interior with all things BYU. It was so festive!

As Richard drove the cake from the bakery, Sparky decided to jump on top of the plastic cover, destroying the decorations. The bakery was kind enough to redecorate it.

I am so thankful for my mom’s example of sacrifice and unselfishness, her persistence and flexibility. I have seen that her decision to focus on her family before her own college dreams has blessed our lives. She always said with confidence that she made the decision to leave school because it was the right thing for her to do. She didn’t complain about it to us. I always felt that she chose me and the other children and she was happy about it. She embraced being a mother and helped my dad to build his business. She shared herself. She was present. She was involved in our education. She prepared our meals and volunteered at the schools. She read to us. She disciplined us. She was always reading and she filled our home with books. Her consistent presence at home was an anchor and a shield against trouble in my life.

She went back to school in 2006 and set plans for a graduation date. She and my dad were called to be missionaries from 2007-2010, and her college books went back on the shelf during those years. She learned Spanish on her mission and when she came back she worked hard to receive college credit for her language skills. The things that she has learned in literature, cooking, family relations and child development courses will continue to be a blessing to our family. The narrative biography she wrote about her parents for a family history course is a treasure.

I am so happy for her because she completed her degree. She is the best woman that I know. Her choices have blessed our family and hundreds of youth, missionaries, investigators, teachers, and neighbors. It was good to celebrate her life.

A smiling Alli

One day when I was in California visiting my grandmother, I arrived at her home to find her waiting for me at the door, holding a photograph.

“You’ll never guess what I found while you were gone,” she said.

It was a photograph of her mother, Alli, which she had never seen before. The only picture we had of Alli as an adult is a very serious passport photo. The newly discovered photo was taken at a children’s birthday party in October 1925. She is sitting among the young children, beaming.

It was a sweet moment for us to see a smiling Alli. I keep a copy of this new photograph on my desk. Lovely.
During this past decade of research I haven’t found all of the family information I had hoped to find, but it’s small discoveries such as this photo that fuel my enthusiasm and love for the effort. In my journal I have begun a list of the “coincidences” that have occurred during this project that have brought new information, direction, and a sense that there are angels helping. I don’t feel peace, but an infusion of energy; I feel compelled to keep working, and even with the dead ends, the work is deeply satisfying.

My book grew after I visited California, but April 30th is my deadline.

I found an interesting article about the value of family stories for children. It seems that the time we take at meals and other family gatherings to share family histories can arm our children with a capacity to face difficulties in their lives. Knowledge of family (and the quality time spent with family to learn it) is “the best single predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness.” The stories give the children a sense of place and reminds them of the strength that others have shown. The New York Times article is here. A researcher commented in the article, “The [children] who know a lot about their families tend tend to do better when they face challenges.”

I love this thought. Sharing my family history research can help my children today. They can see that their grandparents faced challenges, succeeded in some things, failed in others, but they were REAL and they were strong.

This article clarifies that the value is not just in knowing facts, but the time spent weaving that family narrative into children’s lives that makes a difference.

Monster Hats

My Young Women group just completed several monster hats to donate to the kids who are receiving chemotherapy at Primary Children’s Hospital. We used my sister’s pattern and tutorial. I was especially proud of our 14 year old Mia Maid President, who worked so hard and was there for every step of the process, from purchasing fabric to making the final stitches. Look out world, this young woman is smart, capable, funny, spiritually strong, and she knows how to make warm, fuzzy monster hats.

Variations on a Theme

We have had many methods of listing jobs at our house. Most of the time I’ve written out the lists on bits of paper, but I am not very consistent. I decided it was time to do something new with our job lists.

My new job chart system had to

indicate levels of importance to help the kids prioritize,
incorporate large and small tasks, as well as daily and weekly tasks,
provide an incentive,
look pretty enough to keep in a prominent place in the kitchen.

I made about 50 magnets. The green magnets indicate personal scripture study. The white magnets indicate making beds and doing homework. Yellow and red are for music and dance. These colors remain constant each day and are placed in order of importance.

The dark blue and light blue tasks rotate. The dark blue tasks are “big jobs” and the light blue tasks are “little jobs”. Most days each child has one big job to do and one small job. The big jobs are things such as changing sheets or weeding. Little jobs are things such as emptying a rack of the dishwasher or picking up toys in a common area or putting away laundry. I don’t have personal hygiene items listed on the job chart. The kids seem to do pretty well with this without incentives or cute reminders.

When a job is completed, the kid turns the magnet upside down. This saves time. As for the incentive, each job completed is one point. Each night I add the points to a running total. When the kids collectively earn 100 points, I take them out to eat. The system is forgiving; I understand that some days are busier than others, so I put up fewer jobs. Also, if a child is swamped with school work, they know what jobs are most important and they work from left to right. If they don’t get one of the last jobs completed, no big deal. They know that they have done the most important things.

If there is a job that I don’t have a magnet for, I just put up the magnet that reads “Help Mom” and they ask me what to do.

So far, the kids and I really like this system.

If you are interested, here are the details of how I made it: The letters are stickers from the scrapbook aisle. The square magnet/dry erase board and easel are from Walmart. I made a list of the jobs that need to be done and ranked them according to importance, frequency, and size. I assigned colors for each category. I typed the jobs on bright circles of color and printed them on glossy photo paper. I cut out the circles, glued them to round magnets and then glued the glass stones on top. I used round magnets and epoxy.

The job chart came about because we had so much success with our family home evening chart which I made in September. Making crafty wall hangings is not my thing, but stretching myself to do this has really helped our family. There is accountability, fairness, and I LOVE the lessons that my children prepare. This chart has made our family home evenings a success. The jobs which rotate are Prayer, Song, Lesson, “Helper”, Conduct, & Treats.

I made the family home evening chart with vinyl rub-on letters which were not very forgiving. Stickers are definitely a better method for a beginner like me. The metal board with the frame was on clearance at Hobby Lobby.

These charts fulfilled personal progress goals that I am working on as a leader and a mother in Young Women.

Life Scout

My good friend in Sahuarita introduced me to this ribbon to keep a mother’s Scouting pins. I think it is a great idea and I enjoy the memories when I see the little Bobcat pin, his Arrow of Light, and others. (I’m missing the First Class pin.) There is only one rank left for Daniel: Eagle. He’s considering several ideas for his project and he’s working on the BIG 3 required merit badges that take 3 months to complete.

Here is Daniel receiving his Life rank last week. I love the looks on the leaders’ faces. I’m grateful for what Scouting teaches Daniel. I am thankful for men who take so much time to be with the boys and for their families who faithfully send them off to camp each month.

Richard and I find that a common theme in our conversation lately is milestones completed. Soon Daniel won’t be going on campouts each month. Timothy completed his final Pinewood Derby. Paige is driving. College, high school, and big decisions are coming. I hope that they have enjoyed childhood. I love watching them grow, even though it means that they don’t need me as much anymore. The process of the children gaining independence doesn’t allow me to be a constant spectator, but I am here, perhaps less involved on a physical level, but more involved on a spiritual level. I’m praying for them all day long.

General Priesthood Meeting and a New Suit

Our traditional pictures at the front door just before General Priesthood and General Young Women meetings may need to find a new location. It’s too sunny!

We bought Daniel a new suit. The salesman asked him where he was going on his mission. Daniel is compiling a list of things that he’s heard lately that you would only hear in Utah. On Sunday we went to Spring Lake to watch General Conference. There were a lot more flowers than we found last week. We roasted marshmallows outdoors. Grandpa let the boys use hatchets. It was a good time.

As we drove home, Mark exclaimed, “I love spring!” I do, too. I have poppies & irises from Spring Lake to introduce into my flower garden today once the April morning shower ceases. Hooray!