I make TO DO lists because if I don’t, I’ll forget something, such as a ballet recital (I’ve done this), Scout workshop, or that we’ve run out of frozen corn. My lists allow me to be prepared and achieve goals. However, lately I can’t get through my lists. They are too long and there are so many directions we are being pulled.
One night last week I lay in bed and began going over the unfinished things on my lists. We are involved in baseball, piano, orchestra, band, two musicals, school, home school, scouts, shed and fence building, rewiring part of the house, and teaching violin. The errands and time associated with these activities are significant. Church, school, and music are the priorities these days, so most of my ignored tasks involved housework. The cluttered corners of the house seemed to project themselves before my mind and taunt me. Then I decided to stop the nonsense be kind to myself.
I reflected on the things I HAD done. I was glad that I had spent time with each family member, made dinner, and learned something. I thought of the progress I had made (small) on a personal goal. I closed my eyes and went to sleep peacefully. My unfinished projects could wait for a later time.
I have learned that season changes affect my energy levels. The summer-autumn change is most significant for me. I slow down and often have a few health issues emerge because the adrenaline of summer activities is gone. This season change has been no different. I am struggling with some pain (nothing to worry about), but being gentle with myself when things on my list get pushed to another day.
On Saturday the boys and I went down for an afternoon at Spring Lake. We stayed a lot longer than we expected because the boys (especially Mark) were having such a great time. We hauled trash, dug holes, moved dirt and rocks, poured cement, and admired the house. This is the area where they will build a deck next week. There is a lot of prep work and a concrete retaining wall to build. The big hole in the ground is to manage drainage off the house and hill. It was a great activity for younger boys. Daniel was the cement mixer and Grandpa’s right hand man.
We shopped at probably 20 stores before finding this dress. It didn’t require any alterations to make it modest. Hooray!
As I made alterations to Paige’s most recent school dance dress, I thought, “There must be a special reward in heaven for this work to keep my daughter covered.” I’m hoping for a comfortable room where there are endless romantic comedies playing and the chocolate is without calories. 😉 Modesty is a huge topic, but today, I’m just talking about dresses.
An invitation to a dance means that we will spend a lot of time looking for a dress which will need some alterations after we find it. Formal dresses rarely have sleeves, backs, or adequate fronts. Short dresses are too short. Always. This means that it will take some significant effort to find or make something nice. Young men need to understand this and ask young women several weeks before the dance.
It is easier to find a modest dress in Utah than in other states that I have lived, but they are rarely flattering. At one store in our mall, there is whole wall of the same dress in a variety of colors. They have sleeves, but the dresses are expensive and boring. Most often, the solution is to buy something that your daughter is not comfortable wearing and then fix it so it covers her. These are the strategies that I have seen to fix a sleeveless or short dress:
Wear a t-shirt: the girl will wear a cap sleeve t-shirt beneath the dress in an (almost) matching color or contrasting color. The problem with this is that cotton jersey knit isn’t in the same league with satin or chiffon. It’s really awkward looking. But if I see a girl who has decided that this is the best way for her to feel covered and comfortable, I say it’s better than nothing! Paige wore a satin shirt under a dress once and it was a nicer solution than a t-shirt.
Wear a bolero: the girl will simply place a bolero jacket over the sleeveless or strapless dress, and voila! She is covered. The problem with this is that it’s not original and bolero jackets don’t always match the style of the dress.
Make sleeves or inserts from fabric that doesn’t quite match: It’s impossible to match dress fabric perfectly. The sheen or the shade will be slightly off, and that’s annoying. One year we bought an inexpensive dress at Ross and put an insert in the front. The insert didn’t quite match, but it reflected 5 hours of shopping, so we called it a triumph.
It’s difficult to find fabric to match your dress.
Make sleeves from fabric from the dress: If you are lucky, you might have some pockets or a few extra inches of fabric you can remove from the sides or bottom of the dress with which you can construct sleeves. This is my favorite solution because no one can tell that you have reworked the dress.
We bought this dress even though it was sleeveless and 12 sizes too big because it was a good length and we could make sleeves with the extra fabric after alterations.
Buy the dress several sizes too big so its length is adequate. It means you need to alter the dress, but as I mentioned earlier, 99% of short dresses are too short, so this is a real solution.
Wear a lacy underskirt: For short dresses, one trend is to wear a lacy underskirt that extends below the hemline of the dress, making it look like a slip is showing. I’ve also seen how girls have sewn wide ribbons to the hem to lengthen the hemline. It was pretty.
Make the dress yourself: Sewing skills are a blessing. If it’s not your thing and you have someone in your life who can make something from scratch, hooray!
Modest dresses are not easy to find, even for young girls. I made this dress in Arizona because we couldn’t find anything in stores. While shopping for patterns, I met another mother who was trying to teach herself how to make sleeves for her daughter’s strapless prom dress. We shared a moment of camaraderie and panic, but then we got brave and sewed. I got to see the finished prom dress from a distance and gave a silent cheer for the mother who made it work.
All complaining aside, the effort and frustrations are worth it when you see your daughter look beautiful, intelligent, and refined. That’s what modesty is about. It’s a mirror to reflect how she feels about herself and her Creator.
The Great Dissent: How Oliver Wendell Holmes Changed His Mind and Changed the History of Free Speech, by Thomas Healy
This book was good.
Do I enjoy reading about Constitutional Law? No. But this law book is very readable. Complex arguments are explained clearly by the author, and details of the lives of those involved make the story very interesting. You have the highly conservative Supreme Court Justice from New England who, through study and correspondence with more liberal and progressive friends, comes to see that “he was ignorant” in early cases involving free speech.
The late teens and early twenties was a time of real turmoil, with its own “Red scare” because of the Bolchevik Revolution, riots and strikes over labor issues, and protests about the U.S. involvement in WWI. There were several cases brought before the Supreme Court where the Justices had to decide under which conditions the First Amendment would apply. They wrestle with themes such as intent, war-time vs. peace- time speech, and the value of a “free market” of ideas.
You know that Oliver Wendell Holmes changes his mind from the title page, but it is the study of his correspondence, friendships, and the literature choices that influenced his opinion that makes this a fascinating read.
I turn 40 in less than a month. I threw myself a birthday party when I turned 30 and invited everyone in town. I wanted to do the same thing for my 40th. I’ve juggled all kinds of fabulous plans. Then I saw a photograph of some of my friends dressed in 1940’s costumes at an outdoor party with twinkle lights and movie posters from the 40’s. Yes, someone had come up with the perfect 40th birthday party in my neighborhood, just 2 months before my own. I haven’t had the heart to think about other ideas since.
This week I decided that I will celebrate my 40th birthday by writing letters over the next few weeks to 40 of the most influential people in my life. I am writing this on my blog so I will be accountable. I haven’t decided if I will publish my list, but I’ve begun writing. I think it’s the best celebration I could come up with, even though it doesn’t include costumes and big band music.
Two baseball players made 4 baseball games a week plus a practices this fall. Richard and I have divided and conquered since the games fell on the same nights. I was Mark’s cheerleader, and Richard was Timothy’s assistant coach. It’s been a good season for each boy. Sitting outside looking up at the mountains changing color during the games make it seem like an ideal activity. Evenings where it was cold enough to huddle in blankets were rare this year.
I joined some of our friends from our early years in Texas for lunch this weekend. (Richard couldn’t come because he was on the elk hunt with his dad.) Our oldest children were babies together, and now they are all grown up. We became friends at an exciting time in our lives, far from our home states. These and other couples became our family.
My Grandma Stewart encouraged me to find friends during our newlywed years. She and Grandpa made lasting friendships during their early years of marriage. Richard and I have moved around quite a bit so our friendships have not been so constant as my grandmother’s. However, gathering together on Saturday, I can see why I called them friends all those years ago and that we really haven’t changed much. There are lots of sweet memories. We share a common history and that is not easily forgotten. It’s only when we talk about our children dating, driving, and going to college that we begin to feel our age.
My mom and I decided to surprise my grandmother in Nevada for her birthday last weekend. Here are a few pictures from the party.
She allowed us to pamper her for a few days. My grandfather told me over and over how much he loved her. She takes good care of him.
She is quite the decorator. Isn’t her living room lovely?
My Aunt JeanneUncle DavidDavid, my grandfather, my cousin Elizabeth, and her new husband Ivano
My grandmother asked me to play the violin at her party. My grandfather wouldn’t let me stop. I played and played and he asked for more after the guests left, his face beaming because he loves music.
Somehow I missed taking a picture of my mom. It’s an all-day drive to my grandmother’s house and we talked the whole way there and back again, my voice becoming hoarse. My mom and I could probably call driving together “cheap therapy.” Years ago, we got talking so intently that I accidentally drove 30 miles into Wyoming instead of to the cabin where we were headed.
I learned things about my grandmother on this trip without my children. I saw her marriage, her personality, and her interests in a new way. I’m thankful for the women in my family. I’m thankful for my grandfather, who can’t remember many things, but remembers how much he loves his wife and children.
I had a pen pal for a couple of years in high school. I met Karl at a music camp and he played the trombone. I can’t remember details about our meeting or what started our conversation that lasted so many years. He lived in Washington and we saw each other at summer music camps and during a few visits he made to family in the area. There were long walks and sad goodbyes, one at a train station where his sister placed coins on the tracks for a keepsake to give to me. The bulk of our friendship was built with ink, paper and stamps. We wrote long letters, but eventually I stopped writing. He came to BYU and we met several times during our years there.
Karl is an accomplished musician and has been a member of the President’s Own Marine Band for 14 years. The band came on tour to our high school last week and I was able to talk to him for a while during intermission. This is the song they played right after we talked, and it was the perfect accompaniment to the bright light I felt about my youth and this friendship I made through music. I am grateful for this friend who was a real gentleman to me.
I hope my children find (and be) good and decent people like this to fill their memories in their high school years. No one seems to write letters anymore, which is a shame. Some of my favorite relationships have been held together by writing.
Do you want to see a picture?
Richard surprised me and took this picture after I left the concert. Thankfully he had Daniel pose beside Karl because that would just be awkward to see a selfie of my husband and my old high school crush posing together. 😀
I went out of town for the weekend to visit my grandmother and I missed seeing Paige’s homecoming date. Richard took pictures for me. The dress looks so much pinker in natural light. In the store and in the house, it is a lot more muted in tone.
Paige and I found the dress on a clearance rack after shopping at 10 stores. It was only 12 or 14 sizes too big and it lacked sleeves, but it was the right length and the beads were gorgeous!
It had pockets, too, and I knew we could make some cap sleeves with these.
It was a very nice dress and fully lined, which meant I had a lot of reconstruction and hand sewing to do. The finished dress had about 8 inches less fabric around the waist and the cap sleeves went on very easily, thanks to an online tutorial. I watched episodes of The Paradise while I hand stitched the lining back into place. I probably ate chocolate while doing all of this, so really, it was pretty fun, although time consuming.
I make TO DO lists because if I don’t, I’ll forget something, such as a ballet recital (I’ve done this), Scout workshop, or that we’ve run out of frozen corn. My lists allow me to be prepared and achieve goals. However, lately I can’t get through my lists. They are too long and there are so many directions we are being pulled.
