Letters from Home – Page 164 – A blog by Angela Ross

Secret Compliments

One of my weaknesses is that I hold on to compliments. Some of it is shyness and some of it is fear of being generous. A lot of my silence has to do with pride. Sometimes I will write a letter to someone, but usually I do nothing at all.

Not everyone suffers from the same silence about giving compliments that I do, but I’m sure you’ve experienced situations where someone leaves a room and right after they leave, people will say, “Oh, he is so nice,” or “Don’t you just love her?”

Wouldn’t it be better to compliment the person while they are still around?

So, one of my goals is to compliment others immediately and fearlessly (verbally or in writing), and avoid sharing compliments for someone to an audience after the person leaves!

Last steps before a new vantage point

It’s the last day of summer break. The business of preparation, despite its being related to school, has diverted my attention from the reality that our days at home and in the woods are almost gone. Just over that ridge is a series of new adventures with books, music, sports, and friends. I feel some excitement for what’s ahead for the kids. It will be a good year.

A Memory of a Summer Afternoon

The late afternoon sun made a golden light behind my two sons’ frames. Daniel and Mark were at their busiest and best among the rocks, knee-deep in the cold mountain stream. There were rocks to move to shore up the wall, and they attacked the project with intensity. I watched them from the wooden slats above, enjoying the teamwork, masculine camaraderie, and those moments when they invited me into their wonder.

It didn’t matter that one boy was 14 and the other only 8. Nature had a way of smoothing out the differences between them and brought them running to me to share.

“Look, Mom!” is one of my favorite phrases. Rocks, a skull, a stick, all in their turn were placed in front of me. Invited into their world for a minute, I admired their treasures and savored their attention to sharing beauty. Bringing each offering to show me, I found a boy of no distinct age, simply boyhood.

The wonder, simplicity, and generosity of these moments of boyhood are some of my best treasures.

Yellowstone Photos

1-DSC_2120 — Last year we planned to go to Yellowstone at the end of the summer but decided to cancel because we were too tired. This year we were more tired, but we pressed forward with our plans. Richard’s parents came along with us and we made a small caravan with cars loaded with good things to eat and gear for any weather.

1-DSC_2037 — We enjoyed the geyser basins with their pools, steam, and geyser eruptions.

1-DSC_2047 — We stopped at Old Faithful and waited with the crowds in the rain. It was a good time. I thought all of the tourists would bother me, but I really enjoyed hearing all of the languages and watching people.

1-DSC_2053 — We ate lunch on the tailgate on this day. The next day we grilled hot dogs in the woods. The last day we stopped for pizza in West Yellowstone. Each lunch was a nice break.

1-DSC_2054 — The boys loved the lodge. I loved feeling the history of the place.

1-DSC_2061 — This was one of the pools by Yellowstone Lake. Richard loved the color.

1-DSC_2059 — We stayed on this boardwalk for a while, enjoying the heat and steam from the geothermal activity below. Geothermal is my new word of the week.

1-DSC_2077 — Toward evening, we discovered two elk. This guy just sat there and chewed for the 20 minutes we were there.

1-DSC_2076 — These elk were CLOSE and rangers were there yelling at people to stay back.

1-DSC_2080 — I watched the crowds everywhere we went and enjoyed seeing their sense of wonder at water, animals, and rocks.

1-DSC_2089 — Happy boys at the north rim of the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone

1-DSC_2085 — It must be nice to have a big brother to swing you around.

1-DSC_2083 — There was a German couple just a few feet away and I think they took a picture of our kids, too.

1-DSC_2093 — The next day was sunny for a few minutes. We stopped and looked at some falls on our way back to the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone.

1-DSC_2099 — That’s me behind the shades and under that hat. Richard’s mom wasn’t sure I’d be recognized 😉

1-DSC_2104 — We hiked down Uncle Tom’s Trail, which is hundreds of steps down a cliff to get closer to the base of these falls. I felt a little guilty as I passed people who live at lower elevations or with asthma. The altitude didn’t bother us and the climb looked more perilous than it turned out to be.

Instagram at the the base of Uncle Tom’s Trail.

1-DSC_2109 — We went to the overlook at Artist’s Point. This was one of the most beautiful places we saw.

1-DSC_2112 — We have a theory that people don’t really want to see just scenery, so we decorate these pictures with ourselves. Are you tired of all of the group shots yet?

1-DSC_2118 — Here are the Rosses at Mammoth Hot Springs. We made jokes about the signs in the area which all began with “Mammoth.” “Mammoth Parking” and “Mammoth Restrooms” were especially funny at the time, although neither lived up to its name. Parking and bathrooms were just the usual size.

1-DSC_2122 — The Rosses stayed at this cabin by Hebgen Lake in Montana. We stayed behind them in a tent trailer that looks almost like the one in the background.

1-DSC_2129 — Richard took the kids for a ride on the lake during the last hour of our stay.

There are so many memories from these quick days. We loved eating outdoors, even though the mosquitoes came along. We enjoyed the crowds and the contrasting quiet of the woods and playing balance beam on the logs. We loved the wildlife and shopping for t-shirts in West Yellowstone. The Ross parents were great company and enriched the experience with their knowledge of the park, their humor, pancakes, cookies, and ice cream cones almost every time we stopped for gasoline.

On the trip home, I read aloud in the truck. We passed 6 temples, not counting the two we can see from our home hill. Daniel and Mark rode with Richard’s parents for most of the trip. It was good for our family to go to Yellowstone. I think it will be one of the trips the kids will remember vividly, not just because of the spectacular things we saw, but the small things we did, too.

The next adventure: School begins next week.

Yellowstone!

Even though I have never been to Yellowstone before this trip, nostalgia is what I have felt here. A road trip with the family, camping by a lake, and seeing things that have attracted crowds for over a hundred years feels old fashioned and it’s a perfect ending to our summer.

By name

Here are the dog tags I made for each member of the Sanchez family. It was a lot of work, but as I hammered out the names, I thought of their personalities, challenges, and accomplishments. My appreciation for them grew as the names gathered in front of me on the step.

We read in the Book of Mormon that “all things are written by the Father” (3 Nephi 27:26) referring to the records that are kept by which the world will be judged. Perhaps one “parenting tip” or “family relationship tip” we can gain from this is that keeping records of the people in our lives can help us be better judges of their motives and needs.

Sometimes I will write a paragraph about each child in my journal so I can remember their lives. When I do this, sometimes I feel inspiration about what they need. Patterns in their behavior become clear messages of what they are going through.

Angie’s advice for the day: write down the names of each family member. Pause and think of their strengths, challenges, and contribution to your life. Perhaps say a prayer of gratitude for each of them by name. Take action on the things you feel inspired to do for them.

These are good kids.

I’m proud of how my kids handled themselves at the family cabin this week. They are among the oldest of the cousins, so a lot of responsibility fell on them to entertain the littles. And there were a lot of them.

Cousins are important. They are your built-in friends that you will see regularly nearly your whole time growing up. If you’re lucky, you’ll stay in touch after you’re all grown. Some cousins share similar genes; many of our kids’ cousins are adopted, step, or foster children, but the concept of family is still just as strong, maybe stronger because of them. This year I loved watching our kids interact with their cousins.

Just like everyone, our extended family deals with some difficult issues. One day when I was really worried about a situation and praying to know how to act, I was reminded by the Spirit to focus on my children, not the problem which was out of my control. Our kids are independent so I don’t always take time to watch what they’re up to. Because of this answer to prayer, I perched at different vantage points and focused on them during the last half of the week. This exercise changed the way I felt about everything. Just as our children need our guidance, sometimes we need to look to our children to remember joy.

Photos by Paige, Susan, and Sarah