Motherhood – Page 40 – Letters from Home

An empty frame

I have decided to hang a few pictures above my desk. Here I will display a few of the life events, people, and accomplishments that are important to me. I have a photo of my college graduation, my seminary class in Texas, the Young Women in Arizona in front of the Mesa temple, our kids beside the community pond that we maintained in Arizona, a violin performance, and a few others.

I am having trouble finding a photo to represent what I am accomplishing right now.

What I do is repetitive. It involves a lot of time behind the wheel of the van. It is messy. It is either very quiet or very noisy. My life is the observation of tiny expressions, mumbled teenage words, small conversations, and lessons. It’s not on stage; I’m not posing in front of a great monument; there are no journals waiting to publish my words. But it is full. And it is good.

Mothering (our own children or others’ children) is full of minute acts. It’s creation. The world is focused on finished products. Because motherhood is creation, the work is never really finished.

I have decided to hang an empty frame on my wall to remind myself that the life I am living right now is what I came here to do, but a photo wouldn’t be able to capture the facets of it. My empty frame will remind me that THIS stuff that I am doing right now is my greatest work.

Now that I write this, rather than an empty frame, I think a small mirror could be my reminder to keep creating.

For Mark

I made another attempt at a St Patrick’s Day cake this year…and look! We have a rainbow! It makes me happy.

This morning I learned that Mark still believes in Leprechauns. It pretty much made me want to hold him all day long. After sending him off to school in his bright green shirt, I resolved that this sweet little boy would have a special St Patrick’s Day cake.

Dinnertime Conversation of the Week

Mark met a girl at school last year who took an active interest in figuring out why I don’t have a job like her mom. She has talked to me about it and scolded me for just staying home. During our conversations, I have learned that I am hearing her father’s opinions (or her interpretation of his opinions) through her. At school she tells Mark that her family is rich and that she owns 50 horses.

Last night, Mark asked us, “So how DO you get rich?”

He had been thinking… If this little girl at school was rich, it must be because both of her parents work. He gently suggested that I could get a job.

Wealth, to Mark, we discovered, would mean having more video games.

That’s so funny that he thinks I would spend my paycheck on video games. Ha! Regardless of our wealth, I will continue to be the major impediment to a life of video game ecstasy in the lives of my children, for which they will thank me someday, but not today.

I think there are things we can do to teach the value of each person’s contributions in our family. I think we do this through assigning jobs to our children and Working Beside Them. We can show appreciation verbally for jobs well done. As a homemaker, I can express the joy this brings to me and the appreciation I have for Richard who makes our comfortable life possible. And we can be kind to those who belittle our efforts.

Now, let me say unequivocally that I am thrilled with the educational and other opportunities that are available to women. I treasure the fact that the backbreaking work and domestic drudgery required of women has been reduced in much of the world because of modern conveniences and that women are making such magnificent contributions in every field of endeavor. But if we allow our culture to reduce the special relationship that children have with mothers and grandmothers and others who nurture them, we will come to regret it.

-Elder Quentin L. Cook, Ensign, November 2013

My Day

It was another long-list Monday.

One thing on my list was to deep clean the mudroom while doing laundry.

It’s no longer covered in dust, lint, clutter, and grime. I love spring cleaning.

Our Week

These frames are at Michaels in the dollar bins. These are Easter time pictures of each of the kids when they were about two years old. They were all such little sweeties.

I still have so many blank walls in the house. It’s daunting for me to decorate because I don’t put something on the wall unless it is meaningful to me, and that’s a tall order. I’ve been working on a few photo projects to cover some of these empty spaces in the house. I found this collage frame and filled it with photos of Richard and me for our bedroom.

As you can see, it’s still not on the wall. I have so many ideas, but perfectionism gets in the way.

Look at this picture I found:

Tres chic, I know. The baby’s hat! The scarf! The distinguished young man!

In other news, Richard had a birthday.

I made him good things to eat. What did he ask for? Lentil soup, steak, and lemon bars. Steaks are for the weekend. The Young Men were short on rides to the mountains for a night sledding expedition, so that’s what he did on his birthday. He went night sledding with the neighborhood teenage boys.

Paige took her first sick day since going to public school this week. She’s working on an art project with this selfie. She’s feeling better today.

Daniel is working the microphones for the school play. He goes to school at 6:45 a.m. and comes home for dinner, then back again for the performance. He likes working on the stage crew. He got his first taste of it when Paige was dancing in Arizona:

He’s a lot taller now.

I am going to begin teaching violin lessons next week. You have no idea how I agonized over my inability, then my lack of time, and finally my monthly rate. All of my creative energy this week went into that decision and then I took to my bed for a day in exhaustion and with an upset stomach. I’m such a Victorian that I should carry around smelling salts. Despite my turmoil, I believe it will help me to be teaching again.

Presidents Day

My brother-in-law Richard tells me that in Utah, the holiday is called Washington and Lincoln Day. Well, we celebrated it by climbing rocks.

Did you notice that Sparky is smiling in that one?

Well, that’s all for today. I need to get back to sorting papers, magazines, and toys from all of the baskets on our shelves. So far I have discovered that we have missed several non-required school assignments, allowed numerous gift certificates to expire, and that I need to stop hoarding personal letters. I also need to part with about 15 years of Taste of Home magazines. I just know that if I get rid of them, I am sure to be called to the Relief Society and have to plan meals for masses of people again and I will need those “recipes for feeding a crowd”. Come to think of it, perhaps it’s good insurance to keep them around.

Valentine Box

We have made our first valentine box ever. Ta da! It’s a Kleenex box and lids from milk containers. It took 10 minutes plus drying time. That’s my kind of craft. Mark and the boys are totally pleased with this Lego replica.

Smile!

“Maybe you’ll find some money when you get home from school today…” I meekly replied to Mark when he discovered that the Tooth Fairy had forgotten to take his tooth.

You’d think that the Tooth Fairy would be able to remember to leave some money for this boy (he lost the tooth right before bedtime) but no, that Tooth Fairy is always running behind schedule with our family. The kids sometimes wait for days. We began leaving the teeth on the mantel so the Tooth Fairy might remember better, but that Tooth Fairy is incorrigible.

I just checked. There is money on the mantel! Better late than never, Tooth Fairy.

Love is

…shoveling your wife’s side of the driveway at 5:30 a.m. before you rush off to work.

I love the snow. It’s the incessant days of school and work, just after we get reconnected at Christmas that makes January feel long.

I am going to make something to hang from a ceiling today because garlands and buntings always make me smile.

Never mind. I just got a call to bring treats for the fifth graders in a couple of hours. Eek.

And then Richard and I will go out to eat and celebrate new snow, a month over, Mark feeling well again, and the stain that I finally got out of the carpet.

Trust

Mark has a cough this week. Boo. Tonight after reading to him I had the impression that I should stay for a while longer. It was the right thing to do because he ended up coughing until he threw up.

He asked if there was any medicine that would make it all go away. I reassured him that he probably wouldn’t have the same trouble again tonight and that his experience was pretty normal for croup. That seemed to calm him.

I am awake in the bed beside his, listening to him breathing softly and enjoying the cool, moist air from the humidifier. I was thinking how the years have taught me how to care for a sick child. How little I knew when Paige was born. How little I still know sometimes. I have learned that in these times when I don’t know what to do, I can trust the impressions that I have from our Father in Heaven urging me to go to the doctor or to sit with them a little while longer.