A good movie

download

Richard was going to work a few hours from home today, and I just finished reading the book, Far From the Madding Crowd. I decided to watch the movie by myself on Vid Angel. He sat down to watch the first scene with me and immediately liked what he saw. Work was forgotten and we spent the afternoon watching this beautiful adaptation of Thomas Hardy’s novel together.

It’s good, good, good. It is certainly not as rich as the book, but the cinematography is as beautiful as Thomas Hardy’s descriptions. Most of the lead actors are just right, especially Gabriel Oak and Bathsheba Everdeen.

Richard’s jobs

We’ve been a family for 21 years, and Richard continues to remember and tell us about different jobs he has had. We’ll drive by a pizza place and he’ll say, “I worked at a pizza place once.” Or we will walk into a print shop and he can talk the lingo because he “worked a summer at Kinko’s.” Recently I found a paper where I had jotted down a master list of all the jobs he could remember one day. I am sure there are more, but this is a start.

  1. First job: Babysitting twice a week
  2. As a 15 year old, he cleaned offices at The Daily Spectrum in Cedar City.
  3. Through a temp agency, he got a job working for Moore Business Forms where he loaded boxes and printed things.
  4. In St George, he worked at The Spectrum inserting ads into papers from 11 pm-3 am on weekends. Sometimes the job went until 6 am. He would come to church at 8 am with blackened hands from all of the newspapers he’d handled all night.
  5. He packaged software for shipping.
  6. For six weeks he worked at Little Caesars Pizza until he found something better.
  7. He worked concessions at the Dixie Center making nachos.
  8. He was a parts delivery guy for the Steven Wade Auto Dealership.
  9. He had a summer job at Kinko’s Copies and he loved it.
  10. He tried a landscaping job in the middle of the summer, digging trenches for two weeks in Ivins.
  11. At the Market Basket grocery store he bagged groceries and stocked shelves.
  12. At BYU he worked in the bug lab with Dr. Baumann, “picking bugs” (larvae). This man knows his Mayflies, Stone flies, and Caddis flies.
  13. As a TA for an electrical engineering class, he graded papers, tests, and homework.
  14. As a lab TA for an engineering class he helped students with their circuit design.
  15. During his graduate studies, he worked in the FPGA lab at BYU as a research assistant for Dr. Hutchings.
  16. For two summers he worked as an intern at Los Alamos National Laboratory, programming with LabView. The first year he worked on the superconducting super collider. The next year he worked on a cytometer, a cell sorting/measuring instrument.
  17. He worked at National Instruments for 8 years in Austin.
  18. He worked at Raytheon Missile Systems for 7 years in Tucson.
  19. He works at L-3 Communications now.

I am thankful for Richard’s abilities and interests. I am thankful that he has a desire to work. I see his sacrifices for our family. For many years, he has left very early, before most of us are awake, to drive a long way and work a long day. We are a team, and while it’s his paycheck that pays for everything, I know that because I am home he doesn’t have to worry about many things.  I can’t remember a morning when he didn’t kiss me goodbye before he walked out the door. When he comes home to a meal and an orderly house, it’s because I respect what he offers our family. The kids always leave the last cookie for Dad. It’s the least we can do for a guy who has worked so hard for so long.

?Richard read this post and told me that I missed one. He worked at another print shop, making the number an even 20.

Washington D.C.

1-DSC_0736

1-DSC_0779 1-DSC_0785 1-DSC_0803 1-DSC_0837 1-DSC_0842 1-DSC_0858 1-DSC_0871 1-DSC_0876 1-DSC_0878 1-DSC_0881 1-DSC_0882 1-DSC_0894 1-DSC_09161-DSC_0995 1-DSC_0937 1-DSC_0977 1-DSC_1002 1-DSC_1007 1-DSC_1015 1-DSC_1016 1-DSC_1029 1-DSC_1041 1-DSC_1064 1-DSC_1084

1-DSC_1103 1-DSC_1108 1-DSC_1126

This was our very belated 20th anniversary celebration, and the first time we have been away for more than a night from the kids… ever. It was a good trip and I won’t bore you with captions. Anyone who has been to Washington D.C. has the same photos. We stayed in a basement apartment a few blocks from the U.S. Capitol building. We rode public transportation and walked. We tried our first Nutella shake. We attended a concert in the Kennedy Center. We were cold and bought a blanket, stocking hats, ear muffs, gloves, a thermos for hot chocolate, and a scarf over the course of the week. We saw 7 airports, and were 24 hours late getting home because of a canceled flight. We spent the night in Denver, which was certainly not part of our original plan, but all well.

We were looking at monuments and great works of art, then last night I found myself back home making spaghetti. The memories of this trip will keep my mind occupied for a long time. Richard planned the trip and we filled every minute with discovery.

 

Parenting in the Trenches

DSC_0123
Family home evening art

Last week we finally celebrated Timothy’s birthday, one month late, with his friends at an arcade. I baked some cupcakes just minutes before his friends arrived. I was thankful for the arcade. It was a redemption from Timothy’s frustration and a compensation for my lack of the fun gene in my DNA.

I had a mouth full of ulcers last week and these cankers were bad enough to put me to bed for about a day. Richard ran to the store for milk. The next day when I was feeling better, I bought milk before checking the refrigerator. When I got home from the store, I discovered that we had a combined total of 11 gallons of milk. Ha!

I received an email from the piano teacher asking me to monitor my child’s piano practice better. I don’t know how I am going to do that.

I gave my gray stocking hat to one of my sons who was sledding with friends. I watched him tuck it into his pocket rather than put it on his head as he walked away from me. Now the hat is missing.

I tried to register Daniel for EFY summer camp only to discover that we had lost and forgotten his passwords to get into the site. I called and waited on hold for an hour, and was scolded by the operator for my attempts to get around my lost password problem. “You shouldn’t have done that. Now it will take more time to fix it.” And later, “Oh, I’ll just register you myself,” she said with a sigh. “Thank you!” I said, genuinely grateful. Exhaustion had set in and I was docile as a lamb.

There was a prescription which took two days to acquire for one of the boys, including a trip to the doctor and 3 trips to the pharmacy. The clerk at the pharmacy was so helpful. I felt like she really understood, and I was so thankful.

We arrived at church separately, as usual, because of meetings, and we couldn’t find one another. Richard saved a place for me and I saved a place for him. We sat apart for a good portion of church before Richard found us.

I was late in renewing the library books again. It’s a good thing I am taking another violin student next month to help fund my forgetfulness. And the books aren’t even that good. They are fact books about Utah.

I took Mark to a book store during a lunch break and the clerk asked me why he wasn’t in school. It seemed odd to me that she was worried about his education. I was buying a stack of books for him! I just smiled and reassured her. In my mind I chanted, “I’m a good parent, I am a good parent, I am a good parent.”

And my definition of a good parent is someone who keeps trying, day after day, through all the challenges…and fun…and adventure.

DSC_0126

The Engagement Ring, 1995

When Richard proposed, he gave me a diamond solitaire. He said that we would reset the diamond in a setting that I chose. I had never thought about wedding rings and the diamond was more than I would have chosen for myself. It was beautiful. One day someone came up to my counter where I was working at the mall and caught me admiring it. I didn’t see them there because I had hypnotized myself with the patterns of light reflecting from the facets of the diamond. When I looked up, startled, the customer just smiled and said something like, “My, what a pretty ring you have.” My face probably became ashen and then crimson within seconds.

Richard and I shopped around at several jewelry stores to see what we wanted. I decided that I wanted a simple wedding band with small diamonds to go with the solitaire. The jeweler that Richard had used was in Salt Lake City, so after we decided what we liked, we needed to travel there to have the setting made.

We left campus on a dreary January day as soon as our classes were over, around noon, to drive to Salt Lake City to make the final arrangements for our wedding rings. We were in Richard’s small red Toyota hatchback. As we drove north, the weather grew worse. Wet, slushy snow was falling and we hit a patch of ice on the freeway. We slid, spinning, from the far right lanes, across the freeway, to land on the far left side, our car facing oncoming traffic. I don’t know how we were so isolated that we didn’t hit anyone and Richard was able to right the car before we were hit. This happened one more time on that trip, with nearly the same spin and the same miraculous result of no harm.

I was young and that feeling of invincibility hadn’t worn off. I knew that we had been in a scary situation, but I didn’t marvel enough at the time how we had been protected.

The day’s adventure continued when we stepped into the jeweler’s shop and selected the setting, a wedding band, and Richard’s ring. The jeweler quickly set my diamond in the new setting while we waited. I had gathered almost all of my savings from the bank and carried it in cash to buy Richard’s ring. When I handed the man the cash, he seemed uncomfortable to handle it and excused himself to try to find some change at the restaurant next door. I didn’t have a credit card and his behavior made me feel foolish and immature, like a little girl who had broken her piggy bank full of pennies and nickels and dumped them on his counter. That wasn’t far from the truth. It was my savings from my childhood. I learned that day that when you’re buying fine jewelry, it’s best to use a credit card.

Richard reassured me that it was okay. He was good at that. As we drove back to Provo, we didn’t have any more trouble with ice. We were one step closer to being married and after my mortification over the cash was over, I could enjoy the new ring on my finger.

Bells, piano keys, hymns, Relief Society, symphony, art, and black socks

image

It was a week of music for our family. We watched Daniel play in his first bell choir concert. His current bell assignment is to play some of the big bass bells. He says playing these bells is like pouring out a full gallon of milk with each note, your wrist and forearms carefully managing the weight. In other words, they are heavy. I felt Christmas drift through the air as they played, even though these weren’t Christmas pieces. December will be a busy month for bells and they will be playing at Temple Square. I am really looking forward to that.

The boys had a piano recital. Daniel played Preludium in E minor by Felix Mendelssohn. Timothy played Little Story by Sergei Prokofieff. Mark played Etude in A minor by Dmitri Kabalevsky. (Like those names mean anything…) I know the pieces just by the tunes. I rarely learn the names and composers, but I sing along in my head to every piece, well-learned by echoes moving through the house at all hours.

I did Relief Society things. Lots of that, but the specific lessons I am learning and the heartache and loneliness that I am exposed to is part of a private journey that I am taking with some sisters. We can all be more aware of, prayerful, and helpful to others.

In general, I spoke at a Relief Society meeting, participated in a ward council meeting, and presented specific ways to involve women in decisions and discussions and how to improve in ministering to others; I also counseled with the Bishop in a private meeting. I wrote, helped set up tables, washed linens, baked, and cooked. I texted, wrote letters, and talked on the phone. I hugged people who were crying and received counsel about how to do things better. I visited a sister late one night. I listened and admired. I thought hard and made plans. I used my calligraphy skills. I drew strength from scripture study and prayer and hugs from Richard. Please don’t think I am bragging. I am painting a picture of our life. I am not unique in what I do.

On Saturday Richard and I joined my sister Sarah and her husband Bryan for dinner at Lamb’s and the symphony.

image

Daniel played the organ in church on Sunday. A sister on our row in church lifted her infant son dressed in a flannel shirt and I remembered Daniel at that age wearing a flannel shirt. I looked at the contrast between this infant and Daniel at the organ and marveled at the time that has passed without effort. I held that tall young man in my arms not so long ago.

image

We visited Paige for a few minutes on Sunday night and as always I asked to see some of her art. This was one of her doodles-in-progress, not for an art class. She is critical of it, but there is LIFE in this drawing. I had to share it.

image

Also, even her scrap pieces of paper with color gradations and paint mixes could be hung on the wall. I smile every time I visit the dorms because the windows and walls are more decorated each time. Twinkle lights, banners, flags representing mission calls to other countries, and little touches of homemaking are creeping into each unit.

And finally, there is Timothy, who goes to school in the dark early hours for jazz band practice. I bought him some new black shoes and black socks to wear with shorts because that’s what you wear now, at least in middle school. It looked strange at first, like they forgot to change out of their dress socks, but I’m good with it now.

Oh, and Halloween is this Saturday and Mark and I have not made any progress on his costume. Aaack!

This post might be TMI but I don’t feel like editing out pieces of our story today like I usually do.

No regrets

I finished a book this week about the impact that different women have made on the world. One of the women in the book was Mother Theresa. It wasn’t the many deeds of service that she did that made the biggest impression on me. It was her words about sometimes feeling distant from God as she did good works. I have felt that way this week and other times.

In my life I expect that service and scripture study will make me feel light and happy, but that doesn’t always happen. I have learned that if we want to become like the Savior, it means that we will have days where we become acquainted with grief, a little like the Savior, who was also a “man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.” And that feeling of distance from God may not always be a feeling of distance. Perhaps at times it’s a closeness to what He feels for his children, and sometimes that is grief. Of course there is always a distance between me and God, and this leads me to see how much I need the gift of grace.

I have no regrets for my time spent in the scriptures and service, even if I don’t always feel warm and fuzzy about it. I DO have regrets about my time spent doing frivolous things. 24 hours really is a lot of time each day to get things done. How much time I waste, worrying what other people think of me and following news that isn’t important!

Art, Science, Wildflowers & Family

01 03 04 05 06 07 08Julie 09 10 111-DSC_342612 13 14 1517 18 19 20 21 22 23It was a social week for us, with house guests in many corners, a science camp, an art camp, full evenings, and a family reunion. I ate a burrito from Freebirds with Richard and Nancy. Mark and I were stung by wasps and Richard and Daniel came to the rescue, vacuumed them up as they flew around their nest, and sealed up the entrance to their nest beneath our house.

My knowledge and interests have expanded over the years as I have waited in my van for kids at music lessons, school, church activities, and ballet. This week I read a lot at the University of Utah while I waited for Timothy at science camp. My van is almost the only place I could read this week. At this rate, I should finish my book by Christmas. Something I did for myself was attend the New Testament Commentary Conference at BYU on Friday afternoon to hear my friend Julie speak. I stole the photo of Julie from Facebook.

A favorite moment was with Paige and Richard when we took a drive to the Albion basin to see the wildflowers. At sunset, a bull moose emerged between the trees. Its long legs made its leisurely walk as fast as our truck as we moved along the road trying to get a blurry photo. That evening I saw flowers; Richard saw the slopes he normally visits on his skis. We wove two separate themes as we talked. “Oh, look at that shade of pink…and those purple flowers! I’m dying.” To which he replied, “I can’t believe I ski over all of those boulders!” spoken with an equal sense of wonder.

Another adventure we had was weeding and planting carrots at the Church garden. The missionary in charge of the carrots kept handing us carrots for breakfast. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, we rinsed them with our dirty hands in the sprinklers and munched as we weeded. “They taste like carrots,” Richard said. We spent two hours with our whole family, working and laughing together, so I was happy.

The kids enjoyed time with 20 cousins this week, bouncing, splashing, and running. Ours is a family with cousins in perpetual motion. In the kids’ cubbies at Spring Lake, we found notes that Grandma had encouraged the Sanchez cousins to write to one another. Here are a few:

Dear Paige, I love you.

Dear Mortiky, Hi, I’m David. I love you!

To Timothy [puppy drawing] signed DAVID

A top secret note from Hogwarts School, sealed for Mark

Dear Paige, I love you. You’re my buddiey.

Dear Daniel, I painted you a picture. You’re welcome. <3 Paige

We watched the most lingering sunset ever on Saturday night. As the late summer evening darkened, the Payson temple began to glow. Watching this heavenly Changing of the Guard in silence, the light source changing from sun to temple, fed my soul.

 

Twenty years

1-1-1995 wedding day

Happy anniversary to us!

Richard has been sending me a letter each day for several weeks, 20 letters in all, to celebrate our anniversary. I don’t know what I will do when the mailbox returns to its usual graveyard of impersonal bills and ads. But I won’t dwell on it, and I have 20 letters to read when I need to see some human handwriting. This gift from Richard is significant because he types everything. If we need to make out a check or fill out a form, he often asks me to do it. He simply doesn’t write anything by hand because it’s uncomfortable and he’s been out of practice for decades.

I’m thankful for our life, busy, sometimes challenging, and as changing as the seasons.

Here is a little excerpt from the memoir I am writing:

(1994… the year we began dating)

I idealized Richard a bit, and wondered if I could ever be as good as he was. This wasn’t a bad thing. I wanted a young man who could inspire me to be better. I had learned to be aware of how a young man chose to spend his free time. Was he chasing entertainment and fun all of the time? Richard was a serious student and used his time wisely. This included time for fun, but it wasn’t the driving force in all he did. I had learned to watch for triggers to a young man’s temper, and to be cautious of a young man who always found ways to be offended. I felt safe and never worried that Richard would yell or get angry when something didn’t go his way. I had learned to appreciate a young man who planned dates carefully, but with whom I could also go on a walk and feel like it had been a nice evening. Richard was great at making our time together special. I had learned to look for someone who didn’t resent me for my abilities in school but supported me in my interests in school and the violin. Richard was there for every violin performance in the two years before we were married. He found ways to encourage me as I worked hard in school.

 

…We were busy with school and work, but he would leave things for me to find. One night as I studied on my couch, I heard a soft step moving up the stairs outside my door. Somehow I knew it was him. He didn’t knock, but left a box of fudge striped cookies in a bag on the door for me to discover with a note,

 

Angie,

Here’s a little something to help you on your physics test. Eat three of these before you take it and you’re guaranteed to do well. Actually, they’ll probably make you sick and then you won’t be able to take it at all (which could also be good).

                                                            Love,

                                                            Richard

 

One night I walked out to my car and found a bag of carrot sticks on the windshield with the label,

 

Angie,

All I’ve ever given you is junk food. How about something healthy for a change? Actually, I just want you to know that I am thinking of you, and I hope things are going alright. Hang in there!

Love,

Richard

With kindness such as this, is it any wonder that I wanted to marry him? I’m so glad that I did.