Life according to Angela – Page 94

Easter week

I have been looking forward to this week for a long time. It’s Spring Break and the kids are home with me. Hooray!

It’s also Easter week. To celebrate, each day I am focusing on something specific to be a better disciple of Christ. I’m focusing on personal religious practices, missionary efforts, and service. When I first started thinking of what I could do each day, the ideas were pretty basic, but now that I have this focus on trying to be a better disciple, I find that the day is full of unexpected and interesting opportunities and there is a spirit of adventure in the search and in the acts.

Jesus Christ really is the great liberator.

No Speck so Troublesome as Self

I am reading Middlemarch by George Eliot. It is taking me forever. It’s a real study in human psychology. One character named Mr. Casaubon is someone you learn to abhor, but also understand. His main problem is selfishness. He believes his personal project is a sacrifice for mankind, but really, his work serves to feed his ego. He doesn’t realize how his pride and selfishness taint his view of humanity. He misinterprets acts kindness as insults to his abilities. He is hyper-sensitive to suggestions, thinking they are criticisms. His focus on self shows the smallness of pride and the insecurity that follows. He’s such an interesting character.

Will not a tiny speck very close to our vision blot out the glory of the world, and leave only a margin by which we see the blot? I know no speck so troublesome as self.

-Middlemarch by George Eliot

An empty frame

I have decided to hang a few pictures above my desk. Here I will display a few of the life events, people, and accomplishments that are important to me. I have a photo of my college graduation, my seminary class in Texas, the Young Women in Arizona in front of the Mesa temple, our kids beside the community pond that we maintained in Arizona, a violin performance, and a few others.

I am having trouble finding a photo to represent what I am accomplishing right now.

What I do is repetitive. It involves a lot of time behind the wheel of the van. It is messy. It is either very quiet or very noisy. My life is the observation of tiny expressions, mumbled teenage words, small conversations, and lessons. It’s not on stage; I’m not posing in front of a great monument; there are no journals waiting to publish my words. But it is full. And it is good.

Mothering (our own children or others’ children) is full of minute acts. It’s creation. The world is focused on finished products. Because motherhood is creation, the work is never really finished.

I have decided to hang an empty frame on my wall to remind myself that the life I am living right now is what I came here to do, but a photo wouldn’t be able to capture the facets of it. My empty frame will remind me that THIS stuff that I am doing right now is my greatest work.

Now that I write this, rather than an empty frame, I think a small mirror could be my reminder to keep creating.

A lesson from seedlings

A favorite spot in our home is the kitchen in the morning when the light comes through the windows. Light coming over a mountain has a different quality than any other kind of sunrise.

This morning the light is streaming across our little tomato seedlings sitting in the window. Earlier today I noticed that their 1 1/2 inch stems were all angled toward the window. I rotated them so they curved away from the light. Already I can see them straightening up and turning the other direction toward the light.

They have it figured out. No matter what changes occur, they will seek the light. We can learn a lesson from the seedlings. We can’t afford to turn away from the Savior. Sometimes that means giving up things we love or seeing popular philosophies for what they really are: a means of turning us away from life-giving light.

As an observer and a participant in these perilous times, I don’t believe that we need more sophistication, but more simplicity. The light is predictable and strong and we simply need to turn toward the light, angling our spirits, our actions, our thoughts, and our words in line with the source. It helps to remember that there is power in that. The light is the source of energy behind those enormous redwoods and the source of energy to make delicious fruits. We need the Savior every minute, and we can’t afford to turn away from him.

Being an Aunt

We had a few cousins over on Sunday afternoon during General Conference. I took a picture of what they looked like as it began. Five minutes later, the cousins were looking for something to do.

I promise that this wasn’t my idea, but they decided they wanted to sew. They had never sewn anything before (they are in preschool and kindergarten) but they saw that Mark knew how to embroider, so they wanted to do that, too.

They embroidered little sketches I made of swords as we watched Conference.

The older brother was so excited about his sword that I framed that he decided he wanted to do another project: the Easter Bunny. And he wanted it to be pink.

Does anyone believe me that they wanted to do this? These little boys sat for an hour together, then the older brother sat for another hour, completely focused on their work. I sat with them, threading needles and saying good job. It was focused attention and I loved it.

They had a good time here, and that was a relief. I know that I am not the fun aunt or the young aunt. But yesterday, I felt like my version of an aunt was okay. I am the aunt who will untangle knots in your thread, make drawings for you, and feed you carrot sticks and lemon bars.

I’m also the aunt with the fun kids to play with. There was a mighty game of dress up clothes and battles in the basement. It was a good time, and I am glad that my brother could take his older kids to a session of Conference in the Conference Center.

I love you; Zarahemla, and an anniversary

Dear Reader,

First, have I told you lately how amazing you are? Well, you’re amazing, and the best little online community. You are family, our friends from living in different states, and recently, you are friends in our Utah neighborhood.

I love you, Texas! (Not the fire ants. You hurt my babies.) I love you, Arizona! (Not the heat. You nearly killed me.) I love you, Utah! (Not the inversion) I love you, friends in many other places!

Since I’m an introvert and won’t make a phone call, please know that I think of you as I write. This blog is mostly a love letter to family and friends. My older kids read the blog faithfully, and this makes me feel like I can still be their teacher and their friend when I have fallen asleep before anyone’s bedtime (last night…and often) or other times when I’ve created other motherhood epic fail moments.

Next, let’s talk about the book of Mosiah in The Book of Mormon. Don’t worry, it’s just a little sermon.

Most classes I have attended about Mosiah include a big diagram of groups of people from different origins, some splintering off for a time, but everyone coming together in the land of Zarahemla. The details make me tired, so I normally skim Mosiah 25 when all the groups come together.

But last week I didn’t skim and I finally learned a lesson from Mosiah 25. You have all of these groups, and they’ve been through a lot, and everyone has something to share. They gather and take time to listen to one another’s stories. As they listen, they begin to see patterns of the Lord’s hand in their lives. I focused on the emotions they felt as they try to blend their cultural backgrounds and understand experiences. They feel awe, joy, pain, joy and pain. Amazingly, this sharing (and allowing themselves to feel for others) becomes a catalyst for developing concern not just for one another, but for their enemies.

So in real life, I’m a member of a community and a church, and I visit neighbors and I try to be friendly in my own way. I grow in my capacity to love people who are different as I listen.

I haven’t been much of a listener to my “virtual” community. My biggest request from readers is that I should allow comments. Perhaps we have missed some opportunities to grow in friendship because I’ve done all of the sharing.

I’m celebrating the fifth anniversary of this blog on Sunday. It’s growing up and I’m going to allow comments this year. Your opinions and experiences range over a full spectrum; you’re delightful people; I enjoy hearing from you. If you don’t feel like sharing, that’s okay, too. There will be no guilting for comments and I’ll be nice if you disagree with me, but take a few hours to consider whether to be harsh. If that isn’t long enough, take a year to consider. I’m very sensitive.

Happy fifth anniversary, little blog. I’ve written nearly 950 posts. Some of you have read every word. Thank you. The posts are saturated with ideas and whims, family activities and memories, and it’s grown beyond my original vision for it. I’ve grown a bit, too. And let’s not forget how many inches the kids have grown since we began writing about our lives.

Happy fifth anniversary-of-being-brave-and-sharing-thoughts-online to me!

Happy General Conference weekend with love,

Angela

Time Management for Creative Types

Is it Friday yet? I am feeling the drain from the week already. I need a day of creativity, a nap, and some time outside to refuel.

Just after I wrote that post about managing time and housework, a friend posted a link to a blog post which showed graphics by RJ Andrews of some research done by Mason Curry about how great thinkers managed their time. It was fascinating.

Here are a few graphics by RJ Andrews from that post, and the link to the original post is here: From Mozart to Dickens: How history’s greatest thinkers managed their time. The graphics show the day divided into 24 hours, with 6 a.m. in the “3 o’clock” position and 6 p.m. in the “9 o’clock” position.

There are many more examples on the website. Walks, naps, meditation, and some time to socialize seem to be important elements to a creative life. Balance seems to be one of the things that I am always working to achieve with my time. Of course it take effort for me to carve out time for exercise, but oddly enough, I have to force myself to sit for 30 minutes or so when it’s lunchtime and rest a bit. Why is rest and creativity difficult to justify?

Kitchen Day

To really keep a home clean, I need a schedule of jobs to follow. I know there are fancy systems and motivational email lists to which people subscribe that can help, but I like my simple list of daily jobs and weekly jobs.

Here are a few of my daily cleaning guidelines. If I do these things, I don’t feel like things are out of control.

Make the bed as soon as I get up. Remind the kids to do the same.
Clean up the kitchen after each meal. Kids put dishes directly in the dishwasher after meals.
Keep the formal living room clean. This is the only room that most people see when they come to the door.
Take out the kitchen trash each night. It’s icky to wake up to a house that smells like a dump. Amen.

These are just guidelines. If there are dishes in the sink as I run out the door to do something, I don’t beat myself up. If all I do before I run out the door in the morning is make my bed, wow, what a difference that makes when I come home. Simple habits can be powerful helps to us.

To maintain our home, I follow a weekly schedule. I try to involve the kids. If I miss deep cleaning a room one week, it’s no big deal. Next week will come around soon enough. This is just a framework.

Monday: laundry, mudroom
Tuesday: living areas (dust, vacuum, clean glass) and bathrooms (deep clean, mop)
Wednesday: kitchen deep cleaning (mop, clean crevices and appliances)
Thursday: shopping (I actually shop two days a week, but this is often the big Costco day.)
Friday: bedrooms and sheets (The kids clean, dust, and vacuum their bedrooms. I change and wash the sheets.)
Saturday: craft room, garage, incidentals

I do laundry on other days, too, and we’ll clean bathrooms, vacuum, and clean other areas multiple times a week. However, having this framework, I can be sure that things aren’t neglected for long.

I LOVE a clean, uncluttered house, but it’s not the most important thing. I err on the side of clutter in certain corners of the house because I like to read more than I need a clear desk; I like to write more than I need a vacuumed car. I LOVE working with my family on the house. Industrious kids are an ideal for me.

Life is about choices, but a simple framework can help make a clean home possible along with all of the other things that we do. Of course, this phase of life that I am in allows for this kind of framework. When I have been sick for weeks and weeks at a time, and when the kids were young, my cleaning guidelines were a lot different! When I was home schooling, thorough cleaning only happened on Saturdays. However, simple cleaning habits have been helpful to me in whatever phase of life I am in.

Hearing people’s routines is fascinating to me. Do you have a secret to a clean home? Do you make your bed every day? If so, do you agree that it makes a huge difference? What jobs do you enlist your kids to help with around the house? Yes, I am allowing comments today. I am truly curious to learn how people manage their lives.

Juggling thoughts

Image from Dolly-Chic.Tumbler.com

You came back to our blog. How nice of you. I just wish I had something to say, but my thoughts are still marinating. I am thinking about so many things. I am thinking about creating unity. I am thinking about all of the adventures we had in March and the lessons I have learned. I am feeling deep gratitude for friendship. I am rejoicing in the light coming over the mountains and the snow melting off my weary daffodils today. I am trying to decide if I enjoyed the movie, Saving Mr. Banks. We’re going to see Paige’s art displayed at an exhibit tonight for family home evening.

Thanks for reading, and I’ll keep writing.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

Our party was fun on Friday night. Our guests were chosen for us by someone from church, and as hosts, only we knew who was coming. Paige was our pianist while we ate. She made it feel so elegant to be eating at the Ross house. I have learned that a little help in the kitchen makes an evening so much more enjoyable. Daniel cleared our plates and loaded the dishwasher quietly so we could visit. He heard some great stories from some fun people as he worked.

This was my favorite picture of the night. Daniel took all of these photos.

Everyone brought something special. Just look at the colors of that food… and those rolls! I don’t take credit for any of the food. I just warmed things in the oven and microwave. Richard’s smoked chicken was a hit. These were gorgeous, gorgeous plates of food.

We heard so many fun stories and that was the best part. I think we were so lucky to get this mix of people.

The little boys came out in their suits to serve trifle for dessert. I made individual trifle servings in mason jars. These were so pretty. One of the couples in our group is serving a mission and the elder gave Timothy his name tag to wear for a few minutes to see how it felt.

I am thankful for my neighbors and ward members. It was so good to get to know them.

These women are two of my children’s teachers in church. How great is that?

When the evening was over, I fell into bed in my clothes and slept in the next morning. Sleep is sweet when you’ve worked hard for something.