Photographer

1-DSC_1190

I’ve taken on the role of photographer and videographer for the year-end slideshow. This means that I get to focus my lenses on the life of fifth graders.

I’ve observed many things. I am NOT a fan of the new curriculum with evidence-based grading, no great literature or history, endless testing, grouping children only according to their vintage, and classrooms without windows.

I AM a fan of Timothy and his friends who are resilient and kind. I am a fan of teachers who care more than they need to. I am a fan of times like today when they get to spend the day outside. I am a fan of good friends that we wouldn’t have met outside of school.

Time to play

image

Mark asked to stay after school on the playground and explore the areas that are off-limits to second graders. The day was sunny and the playground was empty. I watched the boys swing and climb and then take off running up the grassy hill. I watched them play on the verdant hill on our lovely mountain frosted with snow, and it looked like we could be in Austria. Mountain air is a blessing. The green of the hills and the intensity of the blue sky make me think that the Creator must love the colors green and blue. We live in a beautiful place.

Three more Wednesdays

Reader
“Pink Note: The Novelette” James McNeill Whistler, 1884

Only three more Wednesdays until school gets out. Each Wednesday I don’t have carpool or volunteer responsibilities at the school. It’s a day for “myself” but I usually spend it cleaning the house, and rarely move beyond cleaning to creative projects.

I’m not good at having a day to myself. I feel guilty if I indulge in a day of reading; I don’t enjoy shopping; I have less creativity when I have too much silence. Cleaning and other maintenance work is what gets me though each Wednesday.

The other night I found the list of house projects I was going to accomplish during the school year. I was going to paint the whole house, decorate every room, and landscape the yard. Ha! I sheepishly checked off the handful of projects I had completed and resolved to check off more things in the coming weeks after school gets out.

I work much better when the family is around. They would probably say that it’s because I enlist them to help me. And they would be right, but they might not realize how a house full of my little people enlivens me.

Flight

image

Being a parent means that your hopes and thoughts fly along beside your children wherever they go.

Daily departure time wishes, hugs, and prayers are important because they give the kids a glimpse into our hearts. My Evangelical Christian friends use the phrase “covered in prayer” which I think is beautiful, and describes my belief that prayer is a gift from God to bring protection, comfort, and power to His children. So, we send them off each day with our best wishes, covered in prayer.

Some thoughts about writing

What would a blog by Emily Dickinson look like?

Would she be interested in writing a blog? I think so, but I think she would probably post anonymously. She would write because it made her feel better. That’s the way I think it should be.

I think that Emily Dickinson would agree that blogging introduces some different challenges than writing privately. The audience, the pace, and the focus on the present are some of the challenges and blessings of writing a blog.

Challenge #1: The Audience

My audience can influence what and how I write. I know how many people visit the blog each day. This is not a good thing to think about. Numbers aren’t always a good measure of merit. They are a measure of my lack of publicity, my non-trendy voice …. and the number of female siblings that I have.

I know my audience, so I post lots of pictures of the kids. I care about my relationships, so I tread carefully though certain topics. This is a good thing. I have avoided many topics because I have an audience. Authenticity is one of those terms that people present as an ultimate goal. Many people think being authentic means sharing everything that comes into our heads. I think authenticity comes when we have carefully considered our words. If I wrote a negative post about something bad in my life, this would not be authentic to the person I spend most of my time trying to become. If I wrote negative things, it would be a little bit like a celebration of these things. It’s more difficult to root out behaviors and ideas that we celebrate.

So, an audience is both a help and a hindrance, but I’m grateful to have one. It’s more fun to write to someone other than myself.

Challenge #2: The Pace

Now and then I do an experiment and post a link to this blog on Facebook. This produces many visitors, but most don’t come back the next day. The pace of the internet requires something new all of the time and a quick link to get there. That’s just the way it is. I acknowledge it and remind myself that I don’t write to be popular. I write because I want to write.

Recently I saw a comic in a newspaper with two old guys sitting together and one says to the other, “One thing that I have learned from the internet is that there are precious few original ideas.” How true.

How many paintings does one artist really have inside? How many poems did Emily Dickinson leave behind? Would your favorite author be interesting as a blogger?

Challenge #3: The focus on the present

Something in human nature is drawn to the never-ending story, not because it’s great, but because it changes. I have learned to write with an awareness of this and with an understanding that blogs are an incomplete record and measure of a person.

Many blog authors that I read have given up trying to write frequently. Some feel guilty and sad about it. I think it’s good to remember that writing about the present is limiting because we lack perspective when we’re busy living through something. Also, life is repetitive and full of events that aren’t interesting to write about. No one has something amazing to add to the world every day.

On the other hand, writing almost daily has helped me to find my writer’s voice. I have improved in my ability to express my thoughts. When I began, it would take me hours to write a few paragraphs. Now I spend much less time and I use fewer cliches. And I have some company along the way. Thanks for reading.

 

Today

image

I brought these bouquets from the garden into the house today. They are so fragrant that I don’t know if they can stay.

Here are some things I am thankful for today:

  • Flowers in our yard
  • Quiet corners in the house
  • The piano
  • Testimony meeting at church
  • A prom dress ready two weeks in advance
  • Friends
  • Mark’s giggles at store mannequins
  • Timothy’s bursting social calendar
  • A golf cart full of Daniel’s friends
  • An opportunity for Paige to shine as an artist
  • RICHARD
  • Safe arrivals
  • A soft lawn
  • A day of rededication and worship

Perspective, Planning, and Pep Talk

DSC_1035

When I read a book on the Kindle I don’t know how long it is when I begin because there aren’t page numbers, just “locations,” which I have never paid attention to. Last night after another evening of reading and making no progress, I looked up how many pages Middlemarch has: nearly 900. What a perfect metaphor for life right now. It’s hard to see the end as we slog through these last weeks of school.

I realized last night that I’m living in the Burnout Place. It’s an optional stop on the road, but I have set up camp there and I’m having a hard time packing up and leaving.

Today I’m taking time to remind myself that baseball season and the last month of school will not last forever. I am going to be patient and perhaps buy a few more meals by take-out in the next few weeks without guilt or apology. I am not going to dwell on negative words of others and remember that I am not the solution to every problem. I’m probably not the solution to ANY problem. I don’t have to be awesome! I just need to love this little family and feed them. My mascot for the month is Dory from Finding Nemo.

“Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”

Did you know that I don’t actually know how to swim? It’s a good thing that I am just living in the land of metaphor this morning.

Whirlwind

image

There is no writing going on in a whirlwind. But here are a couple of pictures of things we have been up to. Richard’s mom celebrated a birthday with us and we welcomed Sara home from her mission over the weekend.

image

image

We checked on Spring Lake and admired the foundation.

Richard’s parents stayed for a few days and then Russ’s family stayed. There was Indian food, the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit, a piano recital, a district math test, baseball games, an overnight retreat in Midway, and a violin-piano duet in a church in Spanish Fork.

We put together an answer to an art-themed prom invitation.

image

Daniel’s friends spent several days in the basement constructing a physics project… with lots of Lego man spectators.

DSC_1095 DSC_1094

I’m glad the pace isn’t always this busy, but it was good to see Richard’s family and to be among so many good friends.

Paradoxes in a Narrow Canyon

019

We visited some slot canyons among 31 friends on Friday. Most passages through these canyons were not too narrow, but there were a few places that we needed to slither and slide. The young kids ran through them with ease, leaving the adults behind. I did just fine, even though I feel claustrophobic and trapped at the car wash and even the drive up lane at McDonald’s. The rest of our family is fearless, so I didn’t worry about them.

The essence of our personalities emerged when we were faced with a decision between a significant drop or a very narrow passage through the rock. Each person chose a path, facing different levels of fear and trepidation. A team was required to get everyone through this tight spot. The men went through the narrow passage and then helped lower the rest of the group down the hole between boulders. Some teenagers stayed behind to help, too. I found myself being brave for a change and not feeling panic. I had to trust that those who were lowering me through this crevice had been through it before me, had a thorough knowledge of each ledge they told me to navigate, and finally, that they had the strength to lower me safely to the ground.

Many truths about life and the gospel are paradoxes. For instance, you would think that accepting help from others would make me feel weak or powerless, but the opposite was true. Exercising faith and trust is an act of courage and strength of will. Faith, when grounded in something true, becomes very empowering. Also, when I allowed myself to be helped and even carried for a few seconds, I felt valued and treasured. No doubt others experienced different lessons based on the role they played in the canyon and their life experiences.

We all have good memories from the day and many lessons were taught. I will always remember that lesson of courage in faith and the resulting feelings of worth that I experienced in the canyon. I was grateful for people who sacrificed to help us make it through that narrow and scary spot.