The winter months have been devoted to cozy projects. My extra minutes in January were spent making our 2012 family album. February’s minutes went to violin practice. This month, my project is to make a third draft of my Grandma Ruth’s history that I began writing in 2008 after spending a week “interviewing” her. I’ve collected many pictures and I’m currently scanning slides so this little history is full of images.
Here are a few images from the Broadway review. We were the opening number in the show and this picture shows me waiting for Tevye to make his entrance.
Images by JoLynn Sorensen, Dale Butler, and Chris Monson
“I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me… for if they humble themselves before me and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27)
One of my weaknesses is that I deal with anxiety, especially in a crowd. I have been praying to know what I can do to become stronger. A few months ago, I was asked to play violin in church several times and I was invited to be in the Broadway review.
I almost backed out of playing the violin in church because of my fears. It’s hard enough to go to church and sit in the crowd, let alone play the violin for them. Then I realized that perhaps these invitations were an answer to my prayers. Maybe I needed to exercise myself a little bit more to regain my confidence. Maybe I needed to be known by a few more people so I didn’t feel so anxious at church.
“My dear young sisters, you need to know that you will experience your own adversity. None is exempt. You will suffer, be tempted, and make mistakes. You will learn [that] through overcoming challenges come growth and strength.
“It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Your Happily Ever After,” Ensign, May 2010, 124-27)
My experiences playing violin in sacrament meetings and the musical were not easy. These were acts of faith that required everything that I could give. Richard helped me because he was my accompanist. My friends were a help. Mark prayed for me every time I got up to play. I hoped that the music would heal someone.
Here is a picture of me that someone took backstage at the musical last night. After all of the rehearsals and the new friendships gained through my experiences there, I didn’t feel nearly as much fear as I do in church.
“God whispers in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but he shouts in our pains; it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” C.S. Lewis
“If thou art called to pass through tribulation…know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” (D&C 122:5,7)
“He delivereth and he rescueth, and he worketh signs and wonders in heaven an in earth, who hath delivered Daniel from the power of the lions.” (Daniel 6:27)
Mark has not been healthy all month. A few days ago, he broke out in hives all over his body. We don’t know what caused it. It could be a reaction to an antibiotic or just an over-the-top immune response to a virus. He was miserable. It was scary. It was exhausting. We were blessed to find a good doctor. We feel blessed that he has responded to medication and he’s not covered in hives anymore.
“Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand… our Savior, Jesus Christ understands… you are not alone.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Your Happily Ever After,” Ensign, May 2010, 124-27)
We received some thank you notes this week. For me, the written word is the best gift. This has been a difficult week. I received kind notes almost every day this week, and these lifted me. These people were a few of my angels as they took time to write something.
From one of Paige’s teachers:
Usually a note from a teacher is bad news…not so in this case. I just wanted to drop you a quick note to let you know how nice it is to have Paige in [class]. She is a conscientious student who is consistently at the top of the class. Her behavior in class is excellent, which is very much appreciated. Parents play an important role in their student’s success. Thanks for supporting her in her academic endeavors.
From Mark’s teacher:
Dear Angela, I am so sorry Mark is having this problem. (There was more, but it is personal.)
From the pharmacist, who went to war with the insurance company for me so we could get a medication:
I worked my magic. Have a nice weekend! After I picked up the medication, she said, “Now go treat yourself to something nice.”
From a new friend:
What an angel you are! Thank you for … It really meant a lot to me.
Love your friend,
From ward members:
…You have so much to offer…
and
…The arrangement was lovely and was played faultlessly. Thanks for sharing your talents…
From my sister:
Break a leg tonight! ( or maybe not since you will be on a roof…) I hope you are having a marvelous time!
There were many people who reached out in concern, built us up, prayed for us, and helped us through this big week. I believe there were unseen angels there to help, too.
I believe in angels, miracles, and that faith requires work. Through tough experiences, I learn that that we are loved by our Heavenly Father.
I spent some time making tissue paper carnations with first graders this week. I came home and made more and now I have a shelf full of happy paper carnation bouquets. I don’t know why handling paper is a favorite activity of mine.
We aren’t quite finished with the Halloween candy, but Valentine’s Day came anyway, and along with candy came a great variety of Valentines for the elementary boys. We exchanged Valentines each year with the home school groups in Arizona, so this wasn’t completely new; however, the amount of candy and the selection of Valentines is more plentiful and varied in public school.
My favorite quote of the week came from Timothy as he looked through his Valentines as we ran an errand in the car: “Why did she give me a Frankenstein Valentine?”
Frankenstein?
You know what? He DOES look a little like Frankenstein. Both Mark and Timothy received this Valentine. Ewwwww.
I’ve been reading all weekend. I’m most happy when I’m in the middle of three or four books. This weekend, my selections were For Times of Trouble by Jeffrey R. Holland (for reflection); C.S. Lewis: A Biography by Roger Lancelyn Green and Walter Hooper (for more reflection); Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli (because I loved the author’s book, Stargirl); and Oddfellow’s Orphanage by Emily Winfield Martin (for its illustrations).
While I have been reading, the kids have been skiing, eating, resting in bed because they are sick, eating, reading, practicing music, eating, sledding down the driveway, eating, building snowmen, and (apparently) eating.
There is one orange, an apple, one piece of ham, and a couple of pieces of leftover lasagna in the refrigerator. The milk is nearly gone and the snacks in the pantry have been swept clean. You would never know that I went grocery shopping on Friday.
23 years ago, I was taking violin lessons from Liz Deters. She played the violin for Fiddler on the Roof at Sundance Summer Theater. When she went on vacation that summer, I got to fill in for her in the orchestra pit.
She told me, after handing me the paycheck, “Angie, now you are a professional violinist.”
I was 15 and my hair was very big. Enjoy your laugh. My mom asked me to pose in front of the orchestra pit, which was a cold, dark, primitive arrangement which was covered with insufficient plastic when it rained. I depended heavily on the accordion player and I made some big mistakes, but I did it. I played for a huge audience.
This experience, although small, meant so much to me. It was the biggest moment in my violin career, and one of only two gigs for which I have been paid.
I didn’t choose to follow violin dreams. I never felt like I fit in with the company that I kept. The crowd was elite and intense. My poor skill in scales and theory as well as my lack of a broad knowledge of violin repertoire are my weaknesses.
However, I have always felt that I had a gift, even if it wasn’t well honed. I told myself that when people asked me to play, I would say yes. I have said no to requests only two times in the 29 years that I have played.
Saying yes is the price to keep my skills.
Funerals, missionary farewells, firesides, Stake Broadway shows, Church and community Christmas concerts, sacrament meetings, mountain hillsides, and desert landscapes are a small list of my amateur venues over the years. I’ve also been a part of a couple of ensembles and I was the concert master in an orchestra in Tucson.
Since moving back to Utah, I have been asked to play OFTEN. I’m working to reestablish a good practice schedule. Last night I had a great time at the Stake Broadway Review rehearsals. I get to play Fiddler again, and I’m loving it.
The show is on February 23rd. Come!
Our Timothy is TEN, goes to Webelos, skiis, reads all of the time, plays piano smashingly, and continues to melt my heart every day.
Perhaps my favorite thing about Timothy these days is the way he greets me when I pick him up at school. No matter what, he’ll give me the biggest smile and hug, right in front of his friends, even if they are talking to him.
Without words, he says, “Excuse me, but I see my mom and I always give her a hug. Your story will just have to wait until tomorrow.” He gives me a hug and all of his attention shifts from his friends to me and Mark as we walk down the hill together.
I am incredibly proud of Timothy. He has made all of the transitions of the past 6 months with courage and smiles and unabashed hugs.
Earlier this week I declared it “Care Package Day” and I prepared several packages for people who weren’t expecting anything. I didn’t spend much; I found a paperback book, a little chocolate, and some novelties. For some people, I just wrote a letter. I like to imagine their reaction when they get these unexpected tokens of my affection in their mail box.
This little activity got me through the last murky days of January. Hooray! It’s good for everyone.
Mark has quite a collection of animals in hibernation with him these days.
He’s very accommodating to let them take over the bed. Such a lovey!
I wander to the window of our living room before bed each night. I sit and look across the valley at the lights. The white stillness is such a comfort.
We have experienced 3 seasons in Utah. The lackadaisical summer evenings made way for spectacular autumn leaves and sunsets; the winter is a welcome rest with its slower and deliberate pace. I think often of the tulip bulbs we planted outside, ready to come up in a few weeks to celebrate the arrival of spring.
While I make it a point not to let the weather rule my mood or plans, there are undeniable voices in each season, teaching me and pulling at my moods. Winter teaches me that it is okay to rest. The illnesses of winter remind me to be thankful for health. The snow brightens an otherwise darker world, reminding me to keep hope. Winter is a time for rest and study. Winter is the only time I can see the lights across the valley because the leaves on the trees normally block the view.
Perhaps today if you’re feeling winter blues, you can find a winter truth or a winter window view and love it.
Here is the church building which we watched being built during our last year in Sahuarita. It was completed about a month after we moved away. Paige was able to attend a meeting there on Sunday. She said it was gorgeous inside. How nice to have Paige home with us again, although I am sure she came back with mixed emotions, leaving her friend and entering the inversion.
I’ve started rehearsals for a Broadway musical review. I’m playing the violin for “Tradition!” from Fiddler on the Roof and I’m singing “Trouble” from The Music Man. It’s all about the hats for me. I will be dressed as a boy for the Fiddler number. They almost let me be a mama, but they decided that it just doesn’t fit to have a mama perched up high on stage, fiddling.
Our lives are packed with good things to do.
Daniel is going on the Klondike Derby this weekend. This means he will be camping in the snow. It’s a rite of passage here. Pass the anxiety meds for the mother, please.
If the weather permits, Mark will go skiing for the first time this weekend.
Timothy and Daniel will also go skiing.
I will stay home and sip hot cocoa, which is all I ever want to do. I will also be revisiting the book, Tevye the Dairyman and the Railroad Stories near the fireplace. These are some of the compensating joys for living in the cold.