Life according to Angela – Page 103

Prom & a Birthday

It was a weekend of lovely moments. Mark’s 7th birthday came and we celebrated with a trip to the dinosaur museum, a treasure hunt, and strawberry shortcake. We love our red boy whose enthusiastic oohs and aaahs at the dinosaur museum reminded us how great it is to discover something new.

Lovely Paige went to the school prom. She had a lot of compliments on the hairstyle that her aunt Susan created.

Thanks for all of the help, Susan!

Prom, a birthday, a trip to the cabin, and hosting a ward party at our house have taken all of our energy. I have a few regrets about the weekend, and one is that we didn’t get pictures of the beautiful homemade decorations and homemade ice cream bar that we made under a charming tent in our yard.

I sewed 30 feet of bunting in reds and blues to drape around the tent. There were blossoms from the yard in red and cream bud vases; there were red and blue dishes of chocolate, mixed berries, cookies, and nuts, arranged on a red and white gingham tablecloth. There was a candy machine with a jar of coins for the children to use. There were happy neighbors who stopped by to enjoy the festivities.

I’m not trying to write a design and lifestyle blog, so these lovely details will need to live in your imagination and my memory.

As Richard and I waited up for Paige to return from her date, he composed and performed his own lyrics to the song Bring ~~Him~~ Her Home to keep me smiling.

It’s a lovely life.

25 words

Rosemary M Wixom, the Primary General President, spoke in General Conference about the importance of the words we speak and write to our children. She related the story of a prisoner of war who was allowed to write home after years of imprisonment, but he was allowed only 25 words. He wrote, “These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college. Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year.”

Here are my 25 words to my family. If I did this next week, the words would be different, but this is what I am thinking about today:

Christ lives! Obedience brings power and understanding from heaven. Love one another. Find heroes in the scriptures. Develop charity. Keep a journal. I love you.

What would your 25 words be to your family?

It’s about Color!

I’ve decided to try quilting now that I have willing neighbors to help me.

I had a pretty big quilt failure last time I tried to piece a quilt square. I’m hoping I can overcome this, unlike my continued failure to grow house plants. I’ve made several quilts, but they have not been complicated. I’ve been told that having the right equipment is essential, so I bought the tools first.

Next came the fabric. I needed 11 fabrics. Aaaack! I walked down the aisles for a long while, looking for a fabric to inspire me. And then I found it! It had red! It had pink! It had a lovely pale sage green! It was old fashioned! It was perfect. Once I had this fabric, I knew what I wanted for the quilt: a splash or two of red, a smaller amount of pink, lots of pale sage and a touch of pale yellow.

I’m not a trendy person, so there are no hot pink and orange owls for my quilt, although I loved these fabrics. I’m telling myself I can be a quilter because it really is about color, order, and art, which are three things to which I can feel good about devoting some time.

I got home and realized that these fabrics are Strawberry Shortcake colors. That was my childhood. Lovely.

Now I need to begin cutting. I’m so nervous.

What do you do all day?

“What do you do all day?” was a question someone asked me in December. This question doesn’t bother me, no matter how it is phrased or who asks it. I never feel the need to defend my decision to be present at home, but today I feel like celebrating my full life.

I volunteer at the school.

I spend 2 mornings with the first graders each week and volunteer for a short shift on another day to compile homework packets for the fourth graders. I observe the teachers as I do this. I learn the names of the children in the classes. I look at displays in the hallway. I don’t always enjoy hearing first grade literature, but I want to help them improve their reading skills. In the 8 months that I have done this, I have seen real progress. I have taught art classes to the first graders and helped them create their own Jackson Pollack paintings and also some mosaics. I have helped with class parties and I ran cash registers at the book fairs. This week I am going to the zoo with Mark’s class. I’m pretty nervous about this one.

I read. I study.

I keep quotes and notes of history and religious topics and fill up notebooks with ideas. I read less now than when I was teaching, probably because the new house has required so much of my time. Here is a list of what I have read since the school year began:

Theodore Boone: Kid Lawyer by John Grisham
Hatchet by Gary Paulsen
Lincoln: A Phogobiography by Russel Freedman
Captains Courageous by Rudyard Kipling
Okay for Now by Gary D. Schmidt
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
This Time Together: Laughter and Reflection by Carol Burnett
Peter the Great: His Life and World by Roberk K. Massie 1136 pages of Russian & European history, politics, and wars
Silas Marner by George Eliot
The Infinite Atonement by Tad R. Callister
So Far From the Bamboo Grove by Yoko Kawashima Watkins
Founding Mothers by Cokie Roberts
Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt
Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder
On the Banks of Plum Creek by Laura Ingalls Wilder
By the Shores of Silver Lake by Laura Ingalls Wilder
The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Little Town on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
These Happy Golden Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder
The First Four Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oddfellow’s Orphanage by Emily Winfield Martin
For Times of Trouble by Jeffrey R. Holland
Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli
C.S. Lewis: A Biography by Roger Lancelyn Green and Walter Hooper
Founding Rivals: Madison vs. Monroe: The Bill of Rights and the Election thatSaved a Nation by Chris DeRose
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
Lady Almina and the Real Downton Abbey: The Lost Legacy of Highclere Castle by The Countess of Carnarvon
Tevye the Dairyman by Sholem Aleichem
Lark Rise to Candleford: A Trilogy by Flora Thompson (in progress)

I care for and organize our home.

I did a lot of organization projects this year, but it was a particular focus in April. We also moved forward with a few plumbing and painting projects. It feels so good to make the house our own. Here is a list of the things we did in April. I did the organization and painting. Richard did the wiring, plumbing, and ceiling repairs.

Mark’s room: removed old dresser and moved all clothing to his closet. I hung some more quilts on the wall. I love colorful quilts.
Paige’s room: Paige cleaned out her old wardrobe and moved all clothing to her closet in bins that I had found on sale.
Daniel’s room: I organized clothing and organized Legos and collections; we bought paint for his room.
Timothy’s room: We painted, replaced switches, outlets, and plates; we sealed the window to keep the spiders out!
Storage room: I filled new bins to store all of our winter gear.
Craft room: I hung curtains in the closet, rearranged furniture, placed everything in containers, applied new plates on walls, and hung pictures
Upstairs family room: I found an inexpensive piece of artwork that I LOVE for one of the empty walls
Front yard: We planted daisies in planter on the doorstep.
Downstairs bathroom: We repainted, repaired the tub, added new caulk, added new hardware and textiles; we replaced the toilet, replaced switches, outlets, and plates, and sealed the window to keep the spiders out.
Basement: Richard replaced and repaired ceiling tiles.
Mudroom: I filled bins with winter gear and baseball gear, neatly labeled them, and placed them on shelves.
Upstairs bathroom: We sealed the shower, replaced the shower head, and deep cleaned the grout.
Upstairs living room/piano room: I hung TWO gold curtain panels.

I do all of the shopping and laundry and a lot of driving.

I bought winter wardrobes for every member of the family and shopped the sales for more bedding. With my extra time, I can shop more carefully for groceries and other things. I am in the car driving kids at least an hour a day.

I pursue personal interests.

I spent January compiling our family photo album for 2012; February was a month of musical performances; March and April I spent writing my grandmother’s history. I have joined a quilting group and will begin my first real pieced quilt this week. Richard and I enjoy creating media. In February, Richard and I revamped our “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” inspired trivia game about the Book of Mormon because we wanted it to be extra special for a mutual activity. The improved graphics, sounds, and hundreds of questions were a hit. I watch BBC dramas regularly, thanks to the library and Netflix. I write real letters to people.

I fulfill church responsibilities.

I am a visiting teacher to three women and I volunteer to watch the 5 month old quadruplets that live a few doors away. This service has helped me to find friendship among the women in my neighborhood. The quadruplets brighten my days.

I am a leader in the Young Women organization at church. I teach Sunday lessons and attend Mutual activities on Wednesday nights. I study for hours and hours to prepare lessons.

I spend time finding joy and feeling grateful.

I spend almost the same amount of time on education for my children as before, only it’s redirected. I have never felt like my day goes by slowly. I have less solitude than I expected, and I am happy.

I believe that I am blessed and I don’t know why. I see good women who have to struggle with things that I have never had to face. I’m blessed, but I have also made choices about how to spend my life and in the attitude that I adopt.

I believe that my life at home offers me so many possibilities. I can study what I wish; I have time to volunteer; I have the flexibility to NOT volunteer; I have leisure time, as well as a healthy dose of work. My life is good, and I am thankful for Richard who has always made it possible for me to be home where I want to be and where I believe my children need me to be.

Progress for women doesn’t just take the form of career opportunities. The more I read and learn, the more it becomes clear that my life is a dream vacation compared to what most women in history have experienced. It’s real progress for women to be free from want and ignorance. I’m not trying to keep my children from starving. I have time to study scriptures and other subjects with them after school; I have time and the means to shop for clothing and shoes. I don’t spend much time doing laundry or washing dishes. We have time to read and have access to great schools and libraries. I can get a job if I need to, even though I am married. It wasn’t that long ago that married women couldn’t have a job as a teacher. I’m thankful that this opportunity is there for me. I have the freedom to take a career, turn away from a career, or postpone a career. I admire the women who are raising children on their own and who work and do everything else. I cheer for those single mothers who shine, despite a difficult situation, and continue to raise amazing children.

I love my life. Sometimes I love my life because I can use my knowledge and talents to bless my family. I think I have drawn from everything I have learned in school and experience in my parenting. Sometimes I love my life, not because I am good at something, but because I have applied myself and find satisfaction in the work. Sometimes I love my life because I have had a glimpse of what my great-grandmothers’ lives were like and the contrast makes me feel so grateful. I love my life when I look at my children and I feel like I really know them.

Do I have problems in my relationships? Yes. Does my body give out sometimes? Yes. Do I have frustrating conversations with my children? Yes. Do I get tired of cooking? Yes. Do I love to be a chauffeur? No. But I am grateful, so grateful for my life, so full of possibilities and people, books and cozy corners in which to study them, and for children and all that comes with them. Most of all, I feel very thankful for Richard whose love, career, and sacrifices have made so many of my life’s joys possible.

A smiling Alli

One day when I was in California visiting my grandmother, I arrived at her home to find her waiting for me at the door, holding a photograph.

“You’ll never guess what I found while you were gone,” she said.

It was a photograph of her mother, Alli, which she had never seen before. The only picture we had of Alli as an adult is a very serious passport photo. The newly discovered photo was taken at a children’s birthday party in October 1925. She is sitting among the young children, beaming.

It was a sweet moment for us to see a smiling Alli. I keep a copy of this new photograph on my desk. Lovely.
During this past decade of research I haven’t found all of the family information I had hoped to find, but it’s small discoveries such as this photo that fuel my enthusiasm and love for the effort. In my journal I have begun a list of the “coincidences” that have occurred during this project that have brought new information, direction, and a sense that there are angels helping. I don’t feel peace, but an infusion of energy; I feel compelled to keep working, and even with the dead ends, the work is deeply satisfying.

My book grew after I visited California, but April 30th is my deadline.

I found an interesting article about the value of family stories for children. It seems that the time we take at meals and other family gatherings to share family histories can arm our children with a capacity to face difficulties in their lives. Knowledge of family (and the quality time spent with family to learn it) is “the best single predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness.” The stories give the children a sense of place and reminds them of the strength that others have shown. The New York Times article is here. A researcher commented in the article, “The [children] who know a lot about their families tend tend to do better when they face challenges.”

I love this thought. Sharing my family history research can help my children today. They can see that their grandparents faced challenges, succeeded in some things, failed in others, but they were REAL and they were strong.

This article clarifies that the value is not just in knowing facts, but the time spent weaving that family narrative into children’s lives that makes a difference.

Monster Hats

My Young Women group just completed several monster hats to donate to the kids who are receiving chemotherapy at Primary Children’s Hospital. We used my sister’s pattern and tutorial. I was especially proud of our 14 year old Mia Maid President, who worked so hard and was there for every step of the process, from purchasing fabric to making the final stitches. Look out world, this young woman is smart, capable, funny, spiritually strong, and she knows how to make warm, fuzzy monster hats.

4 years

I’ve been writing this blog for 4 years today. As a quiet person, it’s been a joy to be known through my writing. Thank you, my dears, for reading. Happy weekend!

Great-grandmothers

It’s been quite a special time for me, learning about my great-grandmothers. I only have memories of one of these women, and she didn’t look like her photo when I knew her. The effort is deeply satisfying. I’m so involved in the project that I have given up cleaning the house or reading, and sometimes I forget to eat. My book is growing, and to use a phrase that I hear from my middle school son, “It’s epic!”

Meeting

Tonight I spent some time in a room with a woman who has a very long list of accomplishments, degrees, and two professions. We don’t know each other well. We were just thrown together into a musical group and I’ve spent the past few weeks learning about her.

I asked her about her education. She has multiple degrees. But then she looked at me and explained, “It’s because I don’t have any children.” She explained that she was educated because she didn’t want to sit home alone and she wanted to progress.

I said, “Well, I have children, and I spend my time trying to progress, too.”

Each of us chuckled nervously. I think it’s because we were crossing a boundary set by the women who fight over the labels of “mother” and “professional.” The mood lightened as she mentioned that she believed all women are dealing with the same challenges. I agreed. She still felt sad that she didn’t have children, and I feel a little lost because I gave up my regular job during the day, but our minds met and there was mutual support in that meeting. Children and income are inadequate measurements of success, anyway. We could be friends, despite the fact that we won’t have children at the same time and I’m not on a payroll like she is. I believe she will have her sweet children someday. I also believe that we’ll continue to progress, each of us with different challenges and opportunities.

Ultimately what God intends for each of us transcends both economics and homemaking as we know it. Because of this, it wearies me to read the words of women who belittle others for choosing homemaking instead of a career. On the other side, it breaks my heart to see women feeling deflated because someone has misjudged their decision to work or the reasons they do not have children. I am perplexed by the arguments of women who tell the world that it’s possible to have it all at the same time without tremendous sacrifice. All of this belittling, self pity, and self promotion is a great smokescreen to keep women from encouraging one another.

I’m in the mood to cheer for efforts to reach beyond worldly measures of success. I’m in the mood to say, “I am trying to become something more than you can imagine.” I’m in the mood to turn off the voices that say, “A profession is the greatest end,” and conversely, “The only place a woman can be of value is in the home.” The real answer isn’t someplace between these statements. It’s completely above them, ennobling and liberating because it doesn’t focus on labels. It focuses on who we are inside, not our titles or even our accomplishments. Someday all of these things will be gone. So many of our successes will seem like pieces of jewelry we can no longer wear. What will we look like without this jewelry? That is what we should be focusing on.

A Wonderful Story

I’m at 9,300 words in my grandmother’s history. This week I have written about forbidden marriages, ocean voyages, WWII valor, sacrifice, family traditions, family recipes, and a lullaby. I’ve gazed at baby pictures of people I only knew after they had wrinkles. I have laughed, I have cried. I have seen how my great-grandfather looked in Paris and smiled at his beret. My source materials include letters written in the 1990’s to me, copious notes from Grandma’s stories, photographs that Paige took of photo albums and objects, my great-grandmother’s collection of newspaper clippings and photos, slides that I have painstakingly scanned over the years, and previous histories and careful genealogy work by my dad and aunt. I have had a Finnish letter translated. I have hoarded and identified every photo I can get my hands on. We have done some of my family’s temple work. Whenever I revisit family history, it fills my life.

My mom just finished her parents’ history and shared it with us on Sunday. It is a treasure and I came to love my grandparents even more through the reading of it.

The more I learn, the more I see that Norman Rockwell was painting OUR STORY! That little redhead on the top could be my Mark.