Extended family – Page 22 – Letters from Home

Grandma’s Birthday

My mom and I decided to surprise my grandmother in Nevada for her birthday last weekend. Here are a few pictures from the party.

She allowed us to pamper her for a few days. My grandfather told me over and over how much he loved her. She takes good care of him.

She is quite the decorator. Isn’t her living room lovely?

1-IMG_20141004_194651 — David, my grandfather, my cousin Elizabeth, and her new husband Ivano

My grandmother asked me to play the violin at her party. My grandfather wouldn’t let me stop. I played and played and he asked for more after the guests left, his face beaming because he loves music.

Somehow I missed taking a picture of my mom. It’s an all-day drive to my grandmother’s house and we talked the whole way there and back again, my voice becoming hoarse. My mom and I could probably call driving together “cheap therapy.” Years ago, we got talking so intently that I accidentally drove 30 miles into Wyoming instead of to the cabin where we were headed.

I learned things about my grandmother on this trip without my children. I saw her marriage, her personality, and her interests in a new way. I’m thankful for the women in my family. I’m thankful for my grandfather, who can’t remember many things, but remembers how much he loves his wife and children.

A Funeral Today

They sat on the back row of the chapel, feet crossed neatly in the aisle where people walked into sacrament meeting in my parents’ ward. They were a long line of widows and a few elderly couples. Their well-set hair and brightly-colored tailored jackets were predictable parts of the scenery at church. They may have sat at the back of the chapel to distance themselves from perfumes, infants throwing Cheerios, or just because that is where they always sat. I think they sat there for the view.

Every week I knew that they were watching me and everyone else who walked into church. They were the silent cheerleaders in my life, and a smile was their greeting. I was surprised at how they knew my name or occasionally singled me out to talk about something, even years later when I would visit my parents’ ward during college or after I was married and living out of state. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have been surprised. Of course they knew me! They had watched me walk into church my whole life. They were my in-town grandmothers that I saw every week, unlike my own grandmothers that I would see only a few times a year.

My parents live in the same house they bought when I was two. They haven’t been to church in their ward in seven years because of missionary assignments. Eventually when their missionary service is over, they will go back to a ward that no longer has a long line of elderly women on the back row. I think that will be difficult for them. Their mentors and friends are almost all gone now.

We lost another of our grandmothers from the back row last week. Her name was Pat and instead of working on my “to do list” today, I decided to attend her funeral. She is one of the last of a beautiful group of friends who raised children together, served in the Relief Society together, and grew old together. I just had to go today so I could see a few of their faces again.

It was the right thing to do. I wanted to honor the steady influence she and the others have had in my life. Although this sister was unwell and unable to attend the temple for years, she renewed her temple recommend faithfully. The last temple recommend interview was just a few weeks before her death and she asked that they place her recommend in her hand before her burial.

This is the caliber of women with whom I attended church in my childhood. I was influenced by them when I was young, and memories of them make me want to be a better person now. They are angels to me because they watched over me… Sister Dunford, Sister Axelgard, Sister Asay, Sister Christensen, Sister Whittle, Sister Carter, Sister Hanna, Sister Stone, Sister Holcomb, Sister Davies, Sister Peterson, and more… (Only one from this list is still living.) Thank you for being my in-town grandmothers, steady, beautiful, and true to the faith.

Spring Lake update

Have you wondered how my parents’ new place is coming along? We took some pictures on Saturday. It’s getting close to completion and it’s very exciting. My parents and siblings have worked so hard on this. Richard and Daniel have worked hard as often as they can. I’ve only helped to paint a couple of rooms. It’s not a round house anymore, but my dad’s design is full of nods to the previous architecture, such as stone work, rounded staircases, and a rounded turret room with a view of the Payson temple. The house is full of windows and lots of natural light. It will be a great family gathering place.

1-DSC_2235 — The stone mason did a nice job.

1-DSC_2237 — This is from the back corner of the kitchen looking through the great room. My mom and Susan did the tile work.

1-DSC_2238 — looking toward the kitchen from the east front door

1-DSC_2242 — Room beneath the turret… soon there will be a spiral staircase built to the upper level.

1-DSC_2243 — Going to the upper level of the turret room is a scary climb without stairs.

1-DSC_2244 — More of my mom’s tile handiwork

1-DSC_2247 — My dad in heaven, painting and painting and painting. I didn’t take pictures of all of the bedrooms. There are a lot of them and they’re all being painted.

1-DSC_2248 — Another view of the great room from the master bedroom hall

Sentimental Journey

One day my violin teacher, Liz Deters stopped me during my lesson and made me promise that I would never stop playing the violin. She was always very dramatic, but I took the promise seriously. I am so grateful that I did.

I became very sentimental before I picked up my new violin this weekend. I thought of all of the amazing opportunities that I have had with my old instrument, the generosity of my parents who bought it for me, the places I have played, and the people I have met. I reflected on the blessing that it’s been to be a violinist.

I reminisced a bit with Richard and I wondered if I would play in as many places with my new instrument. No, we decided, probably not. But that is okay. The opportunities of youth are over, but that doesn’t mean the memories and the experiences cease to enrich my life.

With my little instrument, I’ve been invited to celebrate at weddings and parties; I’ve also been invited to provide comfort at funerals. I’ve been invited to unique venues such as a high council meeting when I was a teenager and years later, a mountainside in the dark for Pioneer Trek. Some of my best friends have been my music friends. I’ve met generosity and sacrifice in my teachers, parents, husband, and children so I could play.

I’ve played my little instrument in the Salt Lake Tabernacle, high school auditoriums, LDS stake and ward buildings, at universities, and on hillsides. I’ve been a soloist, a concert master, and sat so far back in an orchestra that I could hardly see the conductor. I’ve felt strong and I’ve felt weak. I have learned to accept both compliments and mistakes gracefully.

My favorite times on the violin were a couple of Christmas parties in Arizona where I joined a band and we presented a fun program with pop, folk, and sacred music. I love fiddling for my family’s traditional dancing of the Virginia Reel in the mountains.

I am thankful for the emotional outlet my instrument has given me and I cherish the notes of thanks that I have received from people who have been touched by the music.

My new violin is here and last night I played everything I know how to play and then brought out some old concertos from my high school days. I am so thankful to be a violinist and I am excited for the new chapter of music in my life!

Yellowstone Photos

1-DSC_2120 — Last year we planned to go to Yellowstone at the end of the summer but decided to cancel because we were too tired. This year we were more tired, but we pressed forward with our plans. Richard’s parents came along with us and we made a small caravan with cars loaded with good things to eat and gear for any weather.

1-DSC_2037 — We enjoyed the geyser basins with their pools, steam, and geyser eruptions.

1-DSC_2047 — We stopped at Old Faithful and waited with the crowds in the rain. It was a good time. I thought all of the tourists would bother me, but I really enjoyed hearing all of the languages and watching people.

1-DSC_2053 — We ate lunch on the tailgate on this day. The next day we grilled hot dogs in the woods. The last day we stopped for pizza in West Yellowstone. Each lunch was a nice break.

1-DSC_2054 — The boys loved the lodge. I loved feeling the history of the place.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA — This was Hayden Valley. There wasn’t much wildlife here because of the rain, but we did spot some birds and some bison in the distance.

1-DSC_2061 — This was one of the pools by Yellowstone Lake. Richard loved the color.

1-DSC_2059 — We stayed on this boardwalk for a while, enjoying the heat and steam from the geothermal activity below. Geothermal is my new word of the week.

1-DSC_2077 — Toward evening, we discovered two elk. This guy just sat there and chewed for the 20 minutes we were there.

1-DSC_2076 — These elk were CLOSE and rangers were there yelling at people to stay back.

1-DSC_2080 — I watched the crowds everywhere we went and enjoyed seeing their sense of wonder at water, animals, and rocks.

1-DSC_2089 — Happy boys at the north rim of the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone

1-DSC_2085 — It must be nice to have a big brother to swing you around.

1-DSC_2083 — There was a German couple just a few feet away and I think they took a picture of our kids, too.

1-DSC_2093 — The next day was sunny for a few minutes. We stopped and looked at some falls on our way back to the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone.

1-DSC_2099 — That’s me behind the shades and under that hat. Richard’s mom wasn’t sure I’d be recognized 😉

1-DSC_2104 — We hiked down Uncle Tom’s Trail, which is hundreds of steps down a cliff to get closer to the base of these falls. I felt a little guilty as I passed people who live at lower elevations or with asthma. The altitude didn’t bother us and the climb looked more perilous than it turned out to be.

Instagram at the the base of Uncle Tom’s Trail.

1-DSC_2109 — We went to the overlook at Artist’s Point. This was one of the most beautiful places we saw.

1-DSC_2112 — We have a theory that people don’t really want to see just scenery, so we decorate these pictures with ourselves. Are you tired of all of the group shots yet?

1-DSC_2118 — Here are the Rosses at Mammoth Hot Springs. We made jokes about the signs in the area which all began with “Mammoth.” “Mammoth Parking” and “Mammoth Restrooms” were especially funny at the time, although neither lived up to its name. Parking and bathrooms were just the usual size.

1-DSC_2122 — The Rosses stayed at this cabin by Hebgen Lake in Montana. We stayed behind them in a tent trailer that looks almost like the one in the background.

1-DSC_2129 — Richard took the kids for a ride on the lake during the last hour of our stay.

There are so many memories from these quick days. We loved eating outdoors, even though the mosquitoes came along. We enjoyed the crowds and the contrasting quiet of the woods and playing balance beam on the logs. We loved the wildlife and shopping for t-shirts in West Yellowstone. The Ross parents were great company and enriched the experience with their knowledge of the park, their humor, pancakes, cookies, and ice cream cones almost every time we stopped for gasoline.

On the trip home, I read aloud in the truck. We passed 6 temples, not counting the two we can see from our home hill. Daniel and Mark rode with Richard’s parents for most of the trip. It was good for our family to go to Yellowstone. I think it will be one of the trips the kids will remember vividly, not just because of the spectacular things we saw, but the small things we did, too.

The next adventure: School begins next week.

Yellowstone!

Even though I have never been to Yellowstone before this trip, nostalgia is what I have felt here. A road trip with the family, camping by a lake, and seeing things that have attracted crowds for over a hundred years feels old fashioned and it’s a perfect ending to our summer.

By name

Here are the dog tags I made for each member of the Sanchez family. It was a lot of work, but as I hammered out the names, I thought of their personalities, challenges, and accomplishments. My appreciation for them grew as the names gathered in front of me on the step.

We read in the Book of Mormon that “all things are written by the Father” (3 Nephi 27:26) referring to the records that are kept by which the world will be judged. Perhaps one “parenting tip” or “family relationship tip” we can gain from this is that keeping records of the people in our lives can help us be better judges of their motives and needs.

Sometimes I will write a paragraph about each child in my journal so I can remember their lives. When I do this, sometimes I feel inspiration about what they need. Patterns in their behavior become clear messages of what they are going through.

Angie’s advice for the day: write down the names of each family member. Pause and think of their strengths, challenges, and contribution to your life. Perhaps say a prayer of gratitude for each of them by name. Take action on the things you feel inspired to do for them.

These are good kids.

I’m proud of how my kids handled themselves at the family cabin this week. They are among the oldest of the cousins, so a lot of responsibility fell on them to entertain the littles. And there were a lot of them.

Cousins are important. They are your built-in friends that you will see regularly nearly your whole time growing up. If you’re lucky, you’ll stay in touch after you’re all grown. Some cousins share similar genes; many of our kids’ cousins are adopted, step, or foster children, but the concept of family is still just as strong, maybe stronger because of them. This year I loved watching our kids interact with their cousins.

Just like everyone, our extended family deals with some difficult issues. One day when I was really worried about a situation and praying to know how to act, I was reminded by the Spirit to focus on my children, not the problem which was out of my control. Our kids are independent so I don’t always take time to watch what they’re up to. Because of this answer to prayer, I perched at different vantage points and focused on them during the last half of the week. This exercise changed the way I felt about everything. Just as our children need our guidance, sometimes we need to look to our children to remember joy.

Photos by Paige, Susan, and Sarah