Category: Extended family

Looking Back, Looking Forward

(photo by Susan)

My dad shared with us at his birthday party that this is also the 50th anniversary of his baptism. He joined the Church as a teenager, and was the first member to join the Church in his family. He said that there are decisions that have the power to alter the course of your life, and this decision to be baptized has made all the difference in who he is, and what his family has become.

My sister Sarah presented him the Harris family Bible from the 1800’s that our family commissioned to be restored. The leather binding is intact and beautiful again. As he looked through the pages of family names listed in the Bible, it was a central moment, surrounded by the new generations and looking backward to ancestors, all who have or will be influenced by his decision to be baptized.

Sometimes little things like this remind me of what is really important. It all comes down to lists of names in a Bible,  the dear ones surrounding us, and the decisions we make to stay true to the faith.

I am not who you see at family gatherings

Image from Pinterest, unknown artist.

We live life on many levels. I feel very good about my inner life, where my thoughts and ideas and study have a home. My outward life is good, too. With neighbors, I am outgoing and try to be thoughtful and friendly. Among extended family, however, I usually draw inward. I feel my loss of integrity at family gatherings with guilt and surprise. Again and again, I wonder how I can feel so “together” about my life until I need to interact with relatives.

I disengage because there is a smaller chance of me messing up or facing assessment. I need to stop being afraid of what others think and say. It robs me of myself and better family relationships.

A favorite great-aunt continues to be my ideal for how to interact at family gatherings. Recently, I went over her patterns of behavior and realized she made brief, beautiful appearances and then retreated. She was often late, seeming to operate in her own time table. She brought expensive bakery goods to contribute. She had her place: she was the sparkle. She probably felt the pressure of her role very deeply. Was she late because it took a lot of effort to face us, with gifts, clothes, and food, perfectly arranged?  Her effusive compliments were a part of her script for a few hours and then she was gone. When she stayed for a few days instead of a few hours, she took time away from family to take walks and read. Clearly she had a need for personal time. I admire how she handled the high-intensity dynamics of a family gathering. She chose to turn outward, and this takes so much courage. She was kind and outgoing without compromising her need for solitude. I want to be like this.

Receive every offer, idea, and contribution with gratitude and grace. Greet warmly. Accept invitations with excitement. Express gratitude freely. Encourage and admire openly. Read another time. Celebrate individuality. Remember we are all children of the Most High and have a need to be loved.

July 4th at Spring Lake


There are two stories of our Spring Lake retreat for July 4th. The first story is peaceful, quiet, and relaxed. The next story is more crowded with cousins and family. Each has its place and is important.

Richard J. brought me homemade Swig cookies~La La Land~ice cream run~sunset views of the Payson temple~4 of 5 siblings and families attend~My aunt’s family attends~pretty tables~big lunch~birthday cake for Sarah~nap on the couch in the middle of everything going on~babies ~littles ~middles ~teens ~twenties ~thirties ~forties ~fifties ~sixties

Mark’s Summer Adventure

These pictures came to me gradually over the week that Mark was gone. It was a fun to see how far he traveled each day. He said he really, really loved Mount Rushmore and many other things on his trip with his cousins and grandparents.

Crazy Horse

 

Martin’s Cove

I know Mark will always remember this trip and love his grandparents for the time they took to get to know him better as they traveled. It’s really a priceless gift.

Snowy morning, a Great Explore, and a Pilgrimage

The sounds of rain stopped sometime after 4:30 am and several inches of snow, silent in its descent, fell on our new plants and young tree foliage. The Sistine Chapel blue of the sky reveals itself between the retracting clouds, and I can hear the thaw begin. Clumps of snow fall from tall branches and the roof releases the water held in crystals, water vapor rising, and liquid water falling, adding to the chorus of dripping water sounds that I hear when I step outside for a photo. There are several accidents on the roads on the way to work and school. The roads aren’t slick, but the snow seems to have shifted capacity for patience or reaction time. Mark may never forgive Nature if the snow is here for his birthday tomorrow. Richard carefully applies the blow drier to his new tomatoes to release them from the weight of snow. I stop at the store and pick up a movie, War and Peace to put on while I fold laundry this afternoon. Richard leaves a little later for work after his garden resuscitation effort.

Earlier this week my sister stopped by after a dentist visit with her children. Excused from public school and home school for a few hours, the children went on an “explore” through the neighborhood without their mothers noticing. Worthy of anything written in a Winnie the Pooh book, the children and baby left the backyard in search of Mark’s favorite hill. I should come with a warning: If you get into a deep conversation with me, you are likely to get lost driving (accidentally drive to Wyoming instead of the family cabin, ’06), burn your dinner (bread caught on fire in the oven, ’04), or lose your children for a while (the great explore of ’17).

We reserved our tickets to the Tucson Temple open House in June. I am so excited about it that I told my sister about it twice while she was here. We will see old friends and take a trip to the Desert Museum; we will eat at La Placita and take a drive to our old haunts. My heart will ache when we drive by our old house which sheltered precious childhood years. We will try to glimpse into the backyard full of lizards and the brick retaining wall that little feet ran across every day. I will be too warm there, but I am grateful to visit the place I was so anxious to leave and give it the proper thanks for all it was to us.

Did I mention we are going to Tucson in June?

Grandma’s mailboxes

A few weeks ago I was looking for something at my parents’ house that our family left there by mistake. I went into the craft room where my mom has a shelf for each grandchild to store things. She often uses these to put misplaced items after the grandchildren leave. Inside my kids’ baskets on the shelves, I found the most amazing assortment of notes, drawings, and cards to my kids from their young cousins, who have been using these baskets as mailboxes. My family didn’t know it!

For Family Home Evening last night we decided to write back. We will slip these into their baskets when they aren’t looking. Shhhh! It’s a surprise.

 

 

St George 2017

Richard continually expressed the idea that it really wasn’t raining and cold and we could go hiking again, but we couldn’t elude the dreary skies. Good thing we weren’t there just for the weather. Here are some memories of the trip:

S’mores in the oven~Tim was sick~Lego Batman Movie~Cousins~Long talks~Superhero movies on tv~Scooby Doo laughter~ Archie comics~Alexa, what will the weather be tomorrow?~Joke Shop~Hospitality~Russ and Nancy’s view!~Krispy Kreme doughnuts