

Happy, happy goodness. I am so thankful for Paige’s experiences at BYU. She lives near enough that she can come home now and then, she is studying what she loves, and has opportunities to travel and learn, learn, learn.


Happy, happy goodness. I am so thankful for Paige’s experiences at BYU. She lives near enough that she can come home now and then, she is studying what she loves, and has opportunities to travel and learn, learn, learn.
This week’s BYU devotional was given by Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. I am glad I listened to it. He acknowledged the grief over the tragedy at BYU this week and pointed us to the scripture in Isaiah which lists some of the titles of Christ, “Wonderful, Counsellor…,” with an emphasis on the title of Counsellor. He also recited every word of the hymn, Where Can I Turn for Peace? His words were healing. I learned during his talk that joy is a state of being. Joy is a godly focus, not just happy, fun feelings. He invited us to study the sources of joy spoken of in the scriptures and to share the joy in Christ with others.
After the devotional, I put the letters J-O-Y on the wall. This will be a record that God inspired a prophet today to remind us of joy.
I chose these advent calendar scriptures and their order in 2015 for someone who was suffering. This year, I am sharing them online. Here is the scripture Elder Bednar quoted at the BYU devotional:
This is the scripture for December 5. We rejoice in Christ.
This is Paige’s story to tell, not mine, but here are a few photos of her in New York. She is doing an internship with children’s book author, Brett Helquist, who illustrated the Lemony Snickett books, The Series of Unfortunate Events. She is living in Manhattan with two other BYU artists doing internships.
Paige was accepted into the Illustration BFA program at BYU and things are moving forward with her internship in New York this summer.
Mark was awarded three ranks in Scouting. He achieved the rank of First Class, just in time to turn twelve.
Paige and I drove to Cedar City for lunch with Richard’s female relatives to celebrate his mom’s birthday. I didn’t capture everyone in this picture. With so many schedules it was amazing that so many could make it.
Dessert in Beaver
Daniel learned he is Valedictorian of his class and received the Heritage scholarship at BYU.
Not pictured: Timothy in his tux playing at the State Band competition, winning Frisbee points at the tournament on Saturday, and the electric guitar he is making in his woods class.
Richard and I celebrated our 23rd anniversary.
Not every week is a harvest, and I am thankful when one comes along.
I heard this devotional while driving yesterday. When I got to my destination, I parked the car and sat and listened to it in the parking lot. It’s that good. Here is a highlight video of Elder Neil L. Anderson’s BYU Devotional address, “A Holier Approach to Ministering.” If you’re in a hurry, begin at minute 2:35.
Last week was a wrestle. I wrestled with church dilemmas, the clock, illnesses, and expectations. But there was a three-tiered cake one night, and clean surfaces everywhere, evidence that when I am doing mental work, physical work goes right along with it.
Last week, there was so much calling me to stay home with the family. They needed my skills, my advice, my health, my early mornings, late nights, afternoon errands, and my touch.
Last week’s lessons:











It was a week of music for our family. We watched Daniel play in his first bell choir concert. His current bell assignment is to play some of the big bass bells. He says playing these bells is like pouring out a full gallon of milk with each note, your wrist and forearms carefully managing the weight. In other words, they are heavy. I felt Christmas drift through the air as they played, even though these weren’t Christmas pieces. December will be a busy month for bells and they will be playing at Temple Square. I am really looking forward to that.
The boys had a piano recital. Daniel played Preludium in E minor by Felix Mendelssohn. Timothy played Little Story by Sergei Prokofieff. Mark played Etude in A minor by Dmitri Kabalevsky. (Like those names mean anything…) I know the pieces just by the tunes. I rarely learn the names and composers, but I sing along in my head to every piece, well-learned by echoes moving through the house at all hours.
I did Relief Society things. Lots of that, but the specific lessons I am learning and the heartache and loneliness that I am exposed to is part of a private journey that I am taking with some sisters. We can all be more aware of, prayerful, and helpful to others.
In general, I spoke at a Relief Society meeting, participated in a ward council meeting, and presented specific ways to involve women in decisions and discussions and how to improve in ministering to others; I also counseled with the Bishop in a private meeting. I wrote, helped set up tables, washed linens, baked, and cooked. I texted, wrote letters, and talked on the phone. I hugged people who were crying and received counsel about how to do things better. I visited a sister late one night. I listened and admired. I thought hard and made plans. I used my calligraphy skills. I drew strength from scripture study and prayer and hugs from Richard. Please don’t think I am bragging. I am painting a picture of our life. I am not unique in what I do.
On Saturday Richard and I joined my sister Sarah and her husband Bryan for dinner at Lamb’s and the symphony.
Daniel played the organ in church on Sunday. A sister on our row in church lifted her infant son dressed in a flannel shirt and I remembered Daniel at that age wearing a flannel shirt. I looked at the contrast between this infant and Daniel at the organ and marveled at the time that has passed without effort. I held that tall young man in my arms not so long ago.
We visited Paige for a few minutes on Sunday night and as always I asked to see some of her art. This was one of her doodles-in-progress, not for an art class. She is critical of it, but there is LIFE in this drawing. I had to share it.
Also, even her scrap pieces of paper with color gradations and paint mixes could be hung on the wall. I smile every time I visit the dorms because the windows and walls are more decorated each time. Twinkle lights, banners, flags representing mission calls to other countries, and little touches of homemaking are creeping into each unit.
And finally, there is Timothy, who goes to school in the dark early hours for jazz band practice. I bought him some new black shoes and black socks to wear with shorts because that’s what you wear now, at least in middle school. It looked strange at first, like they forgot to change out of their dress socks, but I’m good with it now.
Oh, and Halloween is this Saturday and Mark and I have not made any progress on his costume. Aaack!
This post might be TMI but I don’t feel like editing out pieces of our story today like I usually do.


The stroller
Spring of 1998 was the first time I watched the Texas bluebonnets bloom along the roadways. We were building a new house. I had time to do projects and I spent some of that time sewing clothing for one-year-old Paige. I bought cheerful flowered fabrics for play clothes and a gauzy organza fabric for her Easter dress.
This time was the beginning of a focused effort to acquire toys for our little girl. I didn’t know then that toys are something you only need to buy for a few years. Once you’ve got a good collection, they seem to multiply magically in the closets and bins.
One day I drove Paige to the mall in Cedar Park to visit the toy store. Paige picked out a pink doll-sized stroller, a perfect size for her to push. She was so excited about it that I let her push the stroller through the mall. She began to move ahead of me and I was left to follow her. I watched her bob ahead of me with her cute short haircut, hot pink sandals, and handmade pink dress. Because I was a few steps behind her, I saw the smiles from shoppers as they noticed this little woman walking so confidently with her stroller.
I can still remember the rattly-scraping sound that the wheels made on the floors and sidewalks. I will never forget the print of her pink dress nor the love she granted to each of her dolls that rode in the stroller.
I don’t know why certain memories stay with me while others are lost. Perhaps this memory of Paige pushing her stroller stays because her little form, pushing forward on her own, became a glimpse of what I would experience again and again, observing her become more independent. I couldn’t have appreciated at the time that this scene was the first of many, where I would watch our children move beyond our reach to become who they are.
Just as I watched the smiles of strangers that day, I’ve seen the delight that my children’s reaching has pulled from observers. I’ve been blessed with friends who have loved our children and doted on them and shown support for their dance, baseball, and piano feats. The feeling I have at these moments when my children perform or move to the next phase is full, sometimes painful, and expansive. My heart races to catch up as my children move ahead with strengths I couldn’t imagine for them.
It’s when I give them the freedom to move out of my reach that I’ve had better perspective of what they can become. But, oh, the ache that comes with my smile!