Angela – Page 164 – Letters from Home

Spring Lake update

Have you wondered how my parents’ new place is coming along? We took some pictures on Saturday. It’s getting close to completion and it’s very exciting. My parents and siblings have worked so hard on this. Richard and Daniel have worked hard as often as they can. I’ve only helped to paint a couple of rooms. It’s not a round house anymore, but my dad’s design is full of nods to the previous architecture, such as stone work, rounded staircases, and a rounded turret room with a view of the Payson temple. The house is full of windows and lots of natural light. It will be a great family gathering place.

1-DSC_2235 — The stone mason did a nice job.

1-DSC_2237 — This is from the back corner of the kitchen looking through the great room. My mom and Susan did the tile work.

1-DSC_2238 — looking toward the kitchen from the east front door

1-DSC_2242 — Room beneath the turret… soon there will be a spiral staircase built to the upper level.

1-DSC_2243 — Going to the upper level of the turret room is a scary climb without stairs.

1-DSC_2244 — More of my mom’s tile handiwork

1-DSC_2247 — My dad in heaven, painting and painting and painting. I didn’t take pictures of all of the bedrooms. There are a lot of them and they’re all being painted.

1-DSC_2248 — Another view of the great room from the master bedroom hall

Let the shopping commence.

Earlier this week we discovered that someone is “dying to go to homecoming” with Paige. The crime scene has since become a little disheveled, but it makes me smile every time I walk outside.

A Summary

Where have you been during my absence online? I hope you’ve seen something beautiful or read something good or eaten a delicious meal without having to do the dishes afterwards.

We have been inside the house, at parks, in our schools, church, and work. It’s a full life. Richard works very long hours and on Saturdays. It is stressful for him. I am used to having him gone on weekdays, but those desolate Saturdays without him are just no fun.

The tepee is finished and looks so fun in Mark’s room.

Mark continues to pass through the gate behind our house to his friend’s house to play each day. There are kittens! There is a puppy! Our house lacks these things, but we do have Legos to make up for it, and I have been told that our food is good and I’ve been enlisted to sew a couple of projects for the little boy.

Paige completed the first two applications for awards and scholarships that she will submit this semester. What a task that is! Here is a collage of some of her art.

Paige spoke in Stake Conference on Sunday. We are so proud of her. She was calm, confident, and her talk about the Book of Mormon was beautiful. I wish you could have been there. Someone took this picture from another building where her message was being viewed on a screen.

Timothy made some great plays as catcher and first baseman last week and he tells me that he’s not ready to play the trombone for me yet.

Mark is good at hitting baseballs in his red helmet.

Daniel travels in a pack of friends that I really like. There are movie nights and Frisbee games at the park, game nights in our basement, and lunchtime ball games at school. Hooray for good friends!

1-Cumorah's Hill boys 2-001 — Photo by K. Trounce

The new violin had two debut performances this weekend at Stake Conference. I have been given so much praise. At first it made me feel shiny to get all of the attention. Now I feel a little dulled by it. I can’t explain it. Perhaps it’s just too much for me to take in. I do like hearing that people were touched by the music and that some people have translated the music to an expression of my testimony. Because it is.

1-Cumorah's Hill girls — Photo by K. Trounce

The weekend of music and speaking at Stake Conference made me feel like we’re accepted here. It’s not easy to integrate into a new place with people who have lived here a long time. The kindness of our neighbors has always made the transition softer, but to be invited to share thoughts and music makes me feel like people accept our version of contribution.

Richard made lemon ice cream to celebrate everything. All is well.

Autumn Decor*

Autumn colors are on their way to my kitchen. The reds, whites, and blues of summer are feeling out of style as the golden light filters through the windows and the leaves begin to look strained. I’ve decided to sew a couple of autumn buntings. Now and then I add to a collection of objects that I might display on the mantel. Autumn is a cluttered time outdoors so I like to clutter up my indoor spaces a bit. I’m having fun finding unlikely combinations in objects I already own.

Home decoration and craft stores overwhelm me. How about you? I walk into a store and think that I want to buy a little something but there are just too many options (most of them beautiful) and I walk out with nothing. I prefer natural objects and things that already have meaning for me to put on display: a tea cup from a grandmother, a craft from a child, maybe some chalk lettering on my little chalkboard, orange candies, fruits, pumpkins, and some framed leaves. My favorite decoration, regardless of the time of year, is family photographs!

If you’ve been in my house, you probably could have guessed that.

My first college roommate taught me to surround myself with photos of people I love.

It’s a great way to cheer up a space, and you don’t always need a frame.

*Writing about decorating feels a little bit like trying to write in Russian for me. The only design elements that get a lot of attention at our house are the kids’ art and our organized drawers of Legos! 😉

Sentimental Journey

One day my violin teacher, Liz Deters stopped me during my lesson and made me promise that I would never stop playing the violin. She was always very dramatic, but I took the promise seriously. I am so grateful that I did.

I became very sentimental before I picked up my new violin this weekend. I thought of all of the amazing opportunities that I have had with my old instrument, the generosity of my parents who bought it for me, the places I have played, and the people I have met. I reflected on the blessing that it’s been to be a violinist.

I reminisced a bit with Richard and I wondered if I would play in as many places with my new instrument. No, we decided, probably not. But that is okay. The opportunities of youth are over, but that doesn’t mean the memories and the experiences cease to enrich my life.

With my little instrument, I’ve been invited to celebrate at weddings and parties; I’ve also been invited to provide comfort at funerals. I’ve been invited to unique venues such as a high council meeting when I was a teenager and years later, a mountainside in the dark for Pioneer Trek. Some of my best friends have been my music friends. I’ve met generosity and sacrifice in my teachers, parents, husband, and children so I could play.

I’ve played my little instrument in the Salt Lake Tabernacle, high school auditoriums, LDS stake and ward buildings, at universities, and on hillsides. I’ve been a soloist, a concert master, and sat so far back in an orchestra that I could hardly see the conductor. I’ve felt strong and I’ve felt weak. I have learned to accept both compliments and mistakes gracefully.

My favorite times on the violin were a couple of Christmas parties in Arizona where I joined a band and we presented a fun program with pop, folk, and sacred music. I love fiddling for my family’s traditional dancing of the Virginia Reel in the mountains.

I am thankful for the emotional outlet my instrument has given me and I cherish the notes of thanks that I have received from people who have been touched by the music.

My new violin is here and last night I played everything I know how to play and then brought out some old concertos from my high school days. I am so thankful to be a violinist and I am excited for the new chapter of music in my life!

This week…

I fell in love with this. Richard has been trying to buy me a violin for a long time, but that’s not as easy as it sounds. I’ve tried out a lot of violins over the years and when I played this one, I knew that it was special. We joked that it was a little bit like wand shopping in Harry Potter. When I played it, I felt so strongly that THIS was the ONE! Magical! This weekend I get to bring it home. I am reading this. I just finished a chapter about the Vikings. Yikes. Scary. I am watching this a little bit at a time. Mark likes the corny humor in it more than I do. I’ve been concerned about THIS. We learned today that Richard still has a job.

I’m making a red one of these for Mark to use as a reading fort:

photo from Care's blog — photo from Care’s blog; pattern by Susan

We’ve cheered at baseball games for Mark and Timothy. I haven’t been cooking much, but Daniel told me tonight that the food this week has been especially good. Now that’s an accomplishment. Did I mention that I am getting a new violin? That’s really all I can think about.

Morning Walk

Mark and I try to exercise each school day. Some days are so beautiful that we take long walks in the wilderness. On rainy days I ride my exercise bike and he will play Wii sports. One day he found a yoga feature and it was pretty charming.

Flowers are blooming on our mountain path. The light is hinting at a change in tone. Autumn is my favorite time of year.

His grace is sufficient.

Post-edit note: Thank you for your prayers and kind words. I was calmer than I have ever been while playing in public, and that was a miracle in my life. The arrangement and my accompanist were amazing and I feel good about the song. I want to clarify that I love my “student violin” because it has done its job: I have learned to play the violin and I have had many wonderful experiences with music with it under my chin! The negative things that someone told me about my violin were not solicited. I have never asked someone to find fault with my instrument. Violin people can be snobby. I don’t want to sound snobby! I didn’t intend my words about the violin to be seen as a complaint, but to emphasize that we are all imperfect “instruments” that God chooses to use for His purposes and our benefit. Isn’t it great to look back on a difficult task and see the hand of God strengthening you though it? He loves us.

I love public speaking. I love presenting lessons. But I don’t get to do that very often. I feel like Alma in The Book of Mormon when he said, “O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people.”

Later he acknowledges that he “sin[s] in his wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted to me.” (Alma 29:1, 3)

Some of my zeal for speaking and teaching comes from pride in one of my talents. Some of it comes from the power of testimony. However, I am learning for myself what Moses and others have learned: God doesn’t always ask us to use our best talents. Sometimes (most often?) we are asked to act in one of our weak areas.

Instead of teaching, I am asked to share my testimony with a student violin and with a smaller talent that I struggle to find time to nurture. Instead of the favored path of hours of study and writing, I am asked to practice the violin, which is monotonous and lacks vistas of great thinking from favorite authors. (I should probably spend more time marveling at the work of the great composers I am practicing.) It also reminds me constantly of where I need to improve.

I have struggled with insecurity in my abilities. It wasn’t always this way. I just got out of practice. So, I resolved last year to practice the violin more often. I don’t enjoy practicing, but my confidence in playing in public is increasing, and my skills are better. I have also learned to ask people to pray for me.

My instrument is still old and needs new strings, a new bridge, and some repair. I’ve been told that no matter what I do, I won’t be able to play any louder on this instrument. So be it. I have learned that although imperfect, my violin playing is an acceptable sacrifice and God’s grace is sufficient to overcome my fears. (Ether 12:27)

Perhaps the greatest gift in being asked to play the violin in public is that it forces me to come out of myself and my securities, and the raw faith of that act may have greater effect on the hearts of others than my words would ever have. I’m not so selfish to think that it’s all about me. I really hope to bless others.

I’m playing a challenging piece tomorrow in church. Here is a recording of Jenny Oaks Baker playing it. I would appreciate your prayers.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSXM6LS4km4

Elements of a good day

Girl with Lilac, (1979) by Michael Taylor

Here are a few things that make my day feel like it’s a success.

Dinner as a family, family prayers and family scripture study

Exercise

Food to eat in the refrigerator

The kids practice their instruments. (Music fills the house for several hours a day.)

I have some time to read.

I have some time to write.

I clean something really well.

I take time to sit in the family room and enjoy how the kids gather and talk with me about the day.

I wear something pretty.

I do a good deed for somebody.

I have a conversation with Richard.

I read the scriptures and pray.

I have some time alone to think.

Do all of these things happen every day? No way. But I take the mix I can manage each day and call it good.

Things to remember and things to improve

Our kitchen is where I have decided to set up our home school because it has the best windows and Mark hasn’t had any windows at school for two years.

It’s day #4 of school at home. Mark and I are adjusting to the schedule and he is learning my expectations for quality and focus during class.

He asked me, “What shall I call you during school… Mrs. Ross or Mom?”

I replied, “Mom, because that title is more important than any other.”

(Mild indoctrination. Good for me.)

There are a few things I have had to remember about a home school. Here are a few:

1. I need to be physically and mentally present while he works. No housework during school. I make lists of “10-minute jobs” that I do during his breaks.

2. I need to be ready with plans, books, and supplies in advance.

3. I need to have more books from the library for reference and for fun. As a home school parent I have more time to read and that is a happy thing.

There are two things I am doing differently because of what I have learned from sending kids to public school. I have added more exercise to our routine and I am using timers more often. I want to keep Mark outdoors and moving. When he goes back to public school he will not have slow, relaxed habits. He will be able to write under pressure, be quick at math facts, and able to type.