Author: Angela

I write so my family will always have letters from home.

Art by Mark

Mark has decided to keep his art projects top secret. I am not even to ask the medium he is using in class. He rode his bike to art this week even though wind gusts were strong so he could keep the secret a little longer. This is a pretty large piece and he says he held it flat with both hands as he rode his bike through the wind. Now that is dedication to art and the concept of a dramatic presentation.

Ultimate Frisbee

Tim is the first to get up in the morning at our house and the last to come home after school. Band and Frisbee take a lot of time, but he is still a straight-A student. He is amazing.

A Great Devotional

I heard this devotional while driving yesterday. When I got to my destination, I parked the car and sat and listened to it in the parking lot. It’s that good. Here is a highlight video of Elder Neil L. Anderson’s BYU Devotional address, “A Holier Approach to Ministering.” If you’re in a hurry, begin at minute 2:35.

Gift

Two of the most beautiful passages of War and Peace happen when Prince Andrew is wounded in different battles. He has clarity in these moments about others and himself, feeling compassion and love instead of his usual contempt and ambition. Fame reveals itself as the small thing it is. He remembers how it felt to be a child.

I think of these scenes, and they remind me of the goal: to experience life in a more welcoming, childlike way. If I did, I could enjoy warmth, comfort, compassion, companionship, and love more easily. There would be no room for grudges or worries. A child trusts; a child seeks joy; a child accepts the gifts around him as reality.

In another War and Peace passage, Pierre, the restless seeker, realizes,

God is here and everywhere… He felt like a man who after straining his eyes to see into the far distance finds what he sought at his very feet. All his life he had looked over the heads of men around him, when he should have merely looked in front of him without straining his eyes.

-War and Peace, ch XII

I sat in a concert about a month ago I had a War and Peace moment. It was neither sought-for nor earned; I was actually tired and a little frustrated that I couldn’t find a good seat. During the long concert, I looked around me at the families who had come to support their children. I felt how they loved each other. I smiled at the grandmother who hugged her tough son and grandchildren. I noticed a middle school aged boy sitting alone, holding a bouquet of flowers carefully in his hands during the whole concert. I strained to watch him give the gift after the concert, but lost him in the crowd. He was love. I loved him. He loved someone enough to sit alone and bring her flowers. I was love. I could see beyond my usual categorization of people and just see their goodness. This was a welcome rest. This was happiness.

These moments of pure love are rare, so I am writing it to remind myself it’s always there. I just need to develop a capacity to receive it when it is revealed to me.

“I was then wiser and had more insight than at any other time, and understood all that is worth understanding in life. because…because I was happy.”

Pierre’s insanity consisted in not waiting, as he used to do, to discover personal attributes which he termed “good qualities” in people before loving them; his heart was now overflowing with love, and by loving people without cause he discovered indubitable causes for loving them.

-War and Peace, ch XIX

Nine years old

Yesterday this blog turned nine years old. I didn’t think of it until this morning. Instead of commemmorating, I spent some time installing a plug-in to make the blog private. I think Richard has talked me out of closing off the blog to most visitors. As I contemplate a tenth year of blogging, I realize the main reasons for beginning a blog are gone. My parents returned from their mission. We live closer to family and can see them more often. I am no longer home schooling and needing validation for it. The kids are much older now, and there are no more cute baseball pictures and ballet recitals to share. Milestones such as graduation, a mission, an internship, driving, and our baby turning twelve are coming, and I don’t feel the clarity to write something worthy of these moments. I look at my first posts, the kids eating a treat and playing baseball in Arizona, and feel the difference in our situation deeply. We are not here to stay the same, as these years have shown. But Paige is still the one that inspires us to pull together for traditional meals and activities and she is still creating art. Daniel continues to inspire awe with his creations and surprise us with his mature insights. Timothy still disarms me with his smile and shows steady excellence in all he does. Mark remains affectionate and is a bright, entertaining companion. Richard sits at the same desk and works in the yard. I fuss about the house and carve out time to read and write between driving people places. In some things, we are what we have always been, just more full in the expression of them. Thank you for checking in on us.