*I have edited this this since I first posted. I wanted to clarify what I mean by equality and inclusion.

Here are a few bits of advice for the kids to digest when they need it. I’m writing a long post as I try to hold still while my back heals.

Beware of the idea that we all need to be the same.

There is a lot of noise today about equality, which is okay. We are all children of God and we are all alike unto God. (2 Nephi 26:33) Unfortunately, many activists have decided that equality demands that we are all treated the same. We need to have the same responsibilities, the same attention, the same size pickle slices, or we are not really being treated as equals. There are gross inequalities in the world that need to be addressed, but I am concerned about the trend of counting titles and responsibilities as evidence of worth.

This hyper-focus on fairness simply teaches that what we have reflects our value. If we don’t have the same responsibilities as someone else, we have cause to be offended. By worldly logic, a person who presides over a church or runs a corporation is the only one who is really getting all he is due. I believe these attitudes are founded in pride in accomplishments, titles, and our most primitive desire to have the same size cookie as our neighbor.

In contrast to this, I believe that our worth comes from being children of our Heavenly Father. Evidence of our worth doesn’t come from what we have, in what we know, or say, or who approved our academic studies and gave us a diploma. It doesn’t hinge on whether we sit in a prominent place at church or the boardroom, or what we are asked to do by God. Our worth isn’t even supported by “equal opportunities.” I believe that when we focus on who we are rather than on what we have, we can be happier.

When activists teach that we need to be the same, the importance of family roles and the power of gender are often ignored or mocked. My gender and my life story are gifts! I treasure them.

Beware of the word, “Inclusion.”

I have learned to be skeptical of the enticing word, “inclusion.” It’s often used as a tool to muddle the lines between right and wrong. Inclusion sounds so great. It’s all about open-mindedness, implies that you are trendy, and means that you love and accept everyone. Worldly inclusion carries with it the idea that people should accept all behavior, not just people. In other words, we are encouraged to embrace the sin along with the sinner. Of course this message is often clothed in language that makes you feel like a jerk if you oppose sinful behavior. This is when you need to open the Bible.

The Savior spent time with many people, including sinners and outcasts, but never, never condoned sins. His love guided Him to show respect and focused attention. However, love for people didn’t mean He compromised on commandments to make them feel more comfortable. Were there groups who received His rebuke? Yes. He was patient as disciples tried to make sense of His teachings. He knew that they would not achieve perfection right away, and He didn’t forsake them when they stumbled. This is real inclusion.

Discontent isn’t an automatic virtue.

Discontent is high on the list of virtues for many worldly thinkers. It’s implied that if we are content, we must be growing complacent, or we must be ignorant of something that should really bother us. Those who fight traditional values the are seen as having something more valuable to say than the quiet masses. This isn’t always true.

Those who have an answer for everything don’t always have the right answers.

There are times when someone will argue their point and I don’t know how to answer. Does it mean they are right and I am wrong? No. It could mean that they are better at arguing. When someone launches into a well-reasoned argument against a commandment or a principle, I try to remember that God has said that “…my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” (Isaiah 55:8) and “…the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God” (1 Cor 3:19). I have learned that you can trust your impressions from the Holy Ghost that something is wrong, even if you can’t formulate an answer right away for why it is wrong. It’s also okay to carry unanswered questions. Over time, as you nurture your faith, not your doubts, the answers will come. (Alma 12:10)

No one is worth losing your faith over.

We can’t put our trust in personalities, no matter how charming or educated or kind. There is no one– no philosophy, no personality, no group for whom it is worth losing what is most precious: our faith, our family, and our covenants with God. There are really dynamic people who know how to promote their ideas. You may admire someone or a cause, but never give anyone the power to rob you of your testimony of the gospel. You can trust the prophets. You can trust the scriptures. Hold tightly to these and you will be okay.