Tonight as I put together a Christmas craft activity for the kids I kept thinking that I could pull out the camera and make a “tutorial” for the little pocketed pouches we were sewing. A contrasting thought reminded me that my grandmothers and mother never felt internal pressure to publish home project tutorials. How did I arrive at this mindset?
I understand that my value has nothing to do with what I publish online, but I like to see that people are reading. And people don’t like stale, day-old stuff. I feel pressure to keep moving so you will come back… because we never outgrow the thrill of reading something new, especially when it’s a note from a friend. I write with you readers resting someplace my thoughts, but I also write because I escape as I craft and whittle away at ideas and sentences. If I decide to post a crafty tutorial, it will be because I am proud of it, not because I feel pressure to produce something.
It would be difficult for me to be a serial cartoon artist, always having to come up with something funny. It would be very difficult for me to be a craft or lifestyle blogger, always trying to come up with the next new thing.
Is there anything I can produce online day after day that I can consistently be proud of?
I don’t think so.
It feels like freedom to say no to this production sometimes. Peaks and valleys, green light, red light. Thoughts take time to distill and life must be lived before it can be written.