Kindness Magnified

I wandered into some mean girls’ territory today at the library. As I leaned down to get a book off the shelf, I felt a small rubber band wiz by, and perhaps another. Finally a girl spoke up, “Stop it. That’s Mark’s mom.” I had been kind to this girl before, but wasn’t sure she would claim to know me. In a staggering act of courage against her peers, I saw my small kindness come back to me, only it had grown. It had taken a new form, and it was better than my simple favor. It had become this girl’s bravery and consolation, and it put a quick end to the mischief. I gave her my best smile and moved on, not so defeated as I felt before.

Music

I heard lots of great music this weekend from my family: a trombone quartet at a State music festival, a piano solo by Richard at church, and a concert at the Cathedral of the Madeleine with our niece in the choir. And my father in law commented on our family picture wall all afternoon. That was a sweet melody, too.

The Year of the Tulip

We have seen seven winters and springs in Utah. This spring, however, we have tulips everywhere, so many that I wondered if someone planted extra bulbs while our backs were turned. The array of colors is surprising and stunning. Most are tulips we did not know we had. They bloom in places I cleaned out in the flower beds last summer. They bloom in places I have ignored. In glorious display, they proclaim to me that some of the best developments in life happen after an intense season. They show me that latent divine understanding can bloom after drinking steadily from living water through the storms. What a sight!

A Second Post about this Piece of Music

I am posting this piece again on this Holy Week, because it captures the meekness, agony, and triumph we commemorate at Easter. If you want to know more about the composition, the second video is an interview with the composer who set out to write a piece using common liturgical phrases with simplicity and power, enough to “knock people’s socks off.” He wrote it by candlelight in a cabin on an island. “There is no electricity or anything in that piece.”

You don’t have to know the words to feel the power of this piece, so listen in a solitary place and feel what the music has to share with you.

O Magnum Mysterium

https://youtu.be/gi51yTIQJXc

Little things this week

General Conference
I will really miss him.
Quilt group at our house this week.
These ideas for family history at a friend’s home were inspiring. It was an honor to see their family’s testimonies and how they celebrate their ancestors.
Loved it.
Tim has another black eye but declined to be photographed.
I kept the conference block tower for several days because Mark did a brilliant job.

Canyonlands, Needles District

In the shadow of sandstone formations, I watched the boys scale almost every surface they could. In the silence of the land, I walked a little with God and told him things I really want to do and felt his blessing. In the light of the temple, I saw more clearly who my sons are, and who they are becoming.

A neighbor observed that the views we seek most often are valleys, not mountains. I think we love the view of a valley because it reminds us how far we have come. We are ascending, after all.

Sights and Sounds this Week

We did some things. We saw some things. We read some things. I put correction tape over some ugly words. Blah, blah. I’ve been writing this blog for ten years, running out on a stage with my best words, my cutest people, and biggest achievements and the audience is mostly silent, kind of like when I play violin in church. The absence of applause screams doubt in my mind sometimes. Writing here is loneliness, multiplied by ten years. Writing here is also sanity, multiplied by ten years. This is how I feel on this tenth anniversary week.

Just little happy experiences

There are just little happy experiences that writing about doesn’t do justice. Pictures or videos don’t capture it. Memory isn’t exact enough. But there’s an eternity of those ahead… -Elder Daniel Ross

This is something Daniel expressed to me via text this week and I have thought about it again and again. Tiny interactions and connections, the evidence of humanity and goodness, can cut through differences and keep us afloat.

I walked several steps behind a little Muslim family into a store this week. The five or six-year-old son stayed behind to hold the door open for me. They weren’t speaking English, so I just smiled and gave a small wave to the boy, who had thrown his might into keeping the door open as a kindness to me. My thoughts about this family’s differences as I walked behind them in the parking lot just seconds before this interaction felt so shallow.

A different day, during school and work hours, a young father, with a daughter and a son, no older than ten years old looked at a wall of religious art. The daughter had taken an expensive framed print off the display wall and was cradling it until her arms. This was the one she loved. Later, at the cash register, I stood behind the family, the father now holding a few inexpensive prints similar to the expensive framed edition. He offered to buy a piece of candy for each child, but the children seemed content with the slips-of-paper-Jesus hugging someone. When it was my turn to step up to the register, I couldn’t speak or see clearly for a few seconds for what I had just witnessed.

The middle school kids swarmed the entrance to the public library as Mark and I drove into the parking lot after school. I offered to stay in the car as Mark found some books, since our path was through a sea of peers. He said no way. If somebody had a problem with his mom, he’d beat them up. He figured he was taller than most of them, so he had the advantage. In other words, he knew that walking with me would take courage, and he was up for it. You will be relieved to know that no violence ensued during the walk, and there were just a few loud hellos. The strong empathy in my personality made me feel insecure along with the preteens, but Mark and I made the walk together. I loved him for it.

Yesterday Tim went out to take photos of the sunset. He said he was trying to take more pictures like Daniel did. Then he mentioned that he wished he could look at Daniel’s photos of our vacations last summer, thinking there was no way he could see them. In covert sentences and expressions, Tim lets me know he misses Daniel. I pulled up Daniel’s albums on my computer and Tim was delighted, and in his understated, earnest way he enjoyed every one.