Letters from Home – Page 94 – A blog by Angela Ross

Crumbs and sticky patches all over the floor

Summer feels less like a family member and more like a visitor once school begins. I sit in the car at the base of Little Cottonwood Canyon in front of the piano teacher’s house and watch the rays of sun find their path through the leaves of trees. Shifting gold patches of light lay scattered on the road before me and the poplar leaves shuffle in the wind, sounding almost like a stream. Hazy light brings definition to the fins of cliffs layered like a fan ahead of me. The quality of light brings thoughts of football season, new pencils, new shoes, and the crunch of leaves beneath my feet.

I have declared lesson time is writing time, the car, a retreat from the house that seems to echo with reminders of all I need to do.

We do, and do, and do. The lists are getting checked off, but the signs of strain showed up for me this week: mouth ulcers, forgetfulness, irritability toward our naughty dog patient.

Paige began her move back to Provo, her last move to BYU. I watched her drive away through tears even though I knew she would be back the next day. It’s as if I owe each child some tears to mark milestones. They breeze out of the house, anxious for the next step, but I see the path, and the steps of childhood and early adulthood are running out. Their days grow bigger than toys and games at home, their circles are wider than family and a few friends on bicycles, and their journeys as different as their interests and gifts.

Sigh. Hooray! ((Sniff.))

What’s on the list for today?

Buy more cereal, the fuel of choice.
Vet
Calls
A visit
Clean. The. Floors.

Do the Things Happy People Do

Some words that have influenced my thinking in the last few weeks from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk, “Living After the Manner of Happiness”:

The Prophet Joseph Smith once said that “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it.”
Remember the Prophet Joseph’s choice of language: He spoke of the path that leads to happiness as the key to realizing that goal.
We know one thing for sure; happiness is not easy to find running straight for it. It is usually too elusive, too ephemeral, too subtle. If you haven’t learned it already, you will learn in the years ahead that happiness comes to us when we least expect it, when we are busy doing something else. Happiness is almost always a by-product of some other endeavor.
But my reassurance to you today is that in God’s plan we can do very much to find the happiness we do desire. We can take certain steps, we can form certain habits, we can do certain things that God and history tell us lead to happiness…
In short your best chance for being happy is to do the things that happy people do. Live the way happy people live. Walk the path that happy people walk. and your chances to find joy in unexpected moments, to find peace in unexpected places, to find the help of angels when you didn’t even know they knew you existed, improves exponentially.
How can we know the way? Jesus gave the answer that rings from eternity to all eternity, “I am the way, the truth, and the life…”
Learn as quickly as you can that so much of your happiness is in your hands, not in events or circumstances or fortune or misfortune. [President Abraham Lincoln said,] “folks are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness comes first by what comes into your head a long time before it comes into your hand.
“The Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind,” the revelations say. Too often we have thought it was all up to the heart; it is not. God expects a willing mind in the quest for happiness and peace as well. Put your head into this. All of this takes effort. It is a battle but a battle for happiness that is worth waging.
Kindness and pleasantness and faith-based optimism are characteristics of happy people. From the words of Mother Teresa “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”
Avoid animosity, contention, and anger in your life.
Work at it. Learn to work. Serve diligently. Don’t be idle and mischievous.
I encourage you and applaud you in “pursuing the path that leads to [happiness.] Christ is “the way, the truth, and the life” –that no one comes to true happiness except by Him. I bless you to know that someday, sometimes, somewhere you will have every righteous desire of your heart as you live the gospel of Jesus Christ, thus living “after the manner” that leads to those blessings.

Poor Little Pup

He went out to play in the yard and came back with a couple of toes missing. We will never know what happened, and oh, he has suffered!

First Day 2019-20

Just a few tears today for me. Just a few.

Last week of summer break

Just as I was surprised last year by a serendipitous sunflower at Daniel’s departure, another one popped up in the garden on time for his one year mark. It brought me to my knees right there on the lawn. God knows our days.

Our boys performed at a piano recital on Monday night. Timothy played a Debussy piece and Mark played a Beethoven. We took them out for Chinese food and someone asked if Timothy was on his way to a mission. Aaack! Not yet! Mark pushed his food around his plate. He is full of cares.

I walked into the middle school with Mark this week, and through the halls of the elementary school to visit my friend’s Harry Potter themed classroom. I did not walk into the high school, but corresponded with one of Tim’s teachers. Still, I am in denial that they will be in school again on Monday. My homeschool memories clutch my heart and make me cry a little each August. Was I really so bad for my kids?

Tim invited a girl over to watch a movie and we all felt awkward and I found myself baking brownies as a bridge. Even their fudgy goodness couldn’t span the gap, but they were delicious.

This summer, the lawn care and landscaping business run by Tim and his friends has kept him outdoors all day, six days a week sometimes. This week, in addition to mowing, they decided to offer a garbage can washing service. Tim was in charge of transportation of the cans, just emptied by the garbage truck, to a new location where another boy pressure washed them. I have texts from happy customers about their sweet smelling cans. This is life with Timothy: unpredictable, but excellent.

Paige moves home tomorrow for a few weeks before her semester begins. There will be three “children” home for the next few weeks, with only one abroad.

Backpacking nearby, Richard is able to send me photos of the evening with Mark. What a blessing.

I remember the last night at girls camp in Arizona, I moved to a new tent by myself to make space for the Bishop’s wife to stay. That night, I noticed that there was cell service in this isolated tent, and Richard and I were able to have a precious conversation that I needed so much.

That was seven years ago, just before our move to Utah. Many miles and experiences later, the highlights of my summer are still moments of connection with Richard, whether on long walks or during fleeting calls from campsites with spotty service.

As I wrote the last paragraph, Richard called from his hammock, somewhere near Brighton. All is well there.

Weber Snapshots 2019

The Virginia Reel 2019

We were busy at the Weber, my sisters’ families had gone home, and we were running out of time to do the Virginia Reel. My mom and I debated whether we had the energy to play Turkey in the Straw 200 times, but if you look at the faces of the dancers, I think you can see why we do this each year.

Our place

The Weber property has power over memory and time. Nowhere else can I feel my grandparents’ presence and influence greater. It’s here that I feel the tangibles of my childhood so well, but also slip easily into my place in the continuum of family roles. I’m the older aunt in the kitchen now, the one on the shore and bridge watching the children float down the river. I have been the child in the river and the teen lingering on the edges of traditional family games and songs. I have been the young mother chasing children and playing in the river with them. Now I am the older mother, no longer trying to get my children to eat something new, with a heart stretched by distance between us. The balance has shifted a little during these midlife years, and I find that I look ahead a little less than I recall the past. In childhood, everything lay ahead. In the quiet of this phase of life, I feel ancestors about me, and see that they continue to shape my life, my expectations for my children, and my definition of the good life. It is a beautiful legacy to visit each summer at the cabin.

People who Elevate

I told a friend that I am reading C. S. Lewis again because I need to behave better. His writings are an elevating influence in my life.

I have many people who influence me to be a better person.

My mom: She doesn’t get distracted by worldly noise and speaks truth without fear. She is also very fun.

Richard: He knows how to serve and exercises self control. He raises the fun index in the room. He has the patience to seek the best.

My dad: He is a builder, not just a builder of things like shelves and rock walls, but people.

Paige: It’s almost impossible for me to be negative when I am with her. She is optimistic and sympathetic, willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. She fills me with light.

Daniel: He is independent and willing to stand up for those who are bullied or labeled negatively. He shows gratitude and our testimonies grow together.

Timothy: He loves without measure. He is modest about his accomplishments and is steady in his work. He follows through with his commitments and perfects his skills so patiently!

Mark: He is obedient and seeks a relationship with God without guile. He shows gratitude.

Susan: She makes everyone feel like they are her favorite.

Sarah: She models love, independence, and strength.

Lorraine: She gives and gives. She tries to build connection in many ways.

Dale: He is a Christlike man who has only ever shown me kindness. He even tried to change the way he said Fish Creek when I had a hard time saying “crick.” (I can be so difficult.)

Janine: She has positive energy and knows how to lift others. I crave her company so often.

Charlene: She loves me and mine and lifts my heart in good times and bad.

Care: She knows how to reach me when I need a friend and she creates beautiful, fun things.

Becky: Seeks to encourage everyone in their talents.

Cindy: Never criticizes.

Kristy: “Seeketh not her own.” She is a rare person.

Anne: Knows how to live, but listens to my ideas, too.

Julie: She has blessed me with her knowledge and abilities and good book suggestions.

Melinda: I feel she loves me, despite all.

Nancy: She trusts me and visits me.

Kaye: She volunteers on every sign up sheet going around church. She teaches and models good homemaking skills.

I am out of time, and there are more of you. Also, I could say so much more about everyone. But you get the idea. So much good.

Sherbet Skies

Feeling a bit low this week, I went shopping for a gift, and noticed a beautiful rug in the store. I took picture after picture and admired the price. But the thought came that buying this rug wouldn’t fix the way I felt. I remembered a friend in Arizona whose home was filled with expensive, beautiful rugs. When I complimented them, she told me that she bought them during a time of grief.

On this beautiful week of sherbet sunsets, long walks, porch conversations, and a midnight message that family traditions live on while apart, my lapse in courage does not need to be memorialized with a rug!

Finding courage is about gathering from a depth of being and experience we no longer remember. My courage this week came as I studied pictures and stories of ancestors, and from a small voice in my mind reminding me of the power within myself to handle this time in my life. It came as I trusted in my ancient and continuing relationship with God.