Letters from Home – Page 71 – A blog by Angela Ross

Recognition

Effort in life is not always recognized. Sometimes it’s because the work is behind the scenes, or people are too busy to take the time to say something. Sometimes it’s because people see the work as effortless or habitual and they take it for granted. A very few see effort and turn to jealousy. Most people, though, are simply not aware.

Dr. Barbara Morgan Gardner, a religious educator said,

Worthwhile effort is often only perceptible to those who have put forth similar effort. This is true for any topic, whether it be calculus, home economics, or whatever the work is. People who put forth significant effort recognize somebody else who has put forth that effort.
Barbara Morgan Gardner, from an address given at the 2020 BYU LDS Educators Society Conference, featured in the McKay Today School of Education magazine, Spring 2021.

When we are young and developing talents, there are many ways to find recognition for our work. Mentors are everywhere. Eventually, there comes a time when that begins to turn. We become the mentors. This, too, takes effort, but there is little recognition here.

This quote led me to think about the Savior’s efforts. I exist in his efforts, as if in water, yet I don’t know the depth of that water. I hope I am growing in my recognition of what he has done for me.

Vaccines

One by one, our family gets closer to being fully vaccinated for Covid-19. I have had the worst time this weekend after my second dose, but I am still grateful for vaccines. They are miracles.

Latent potential

For the first five or six years we lived here, I would pull out the tulip leaves before they would bloom beneath the trees because I was uncomfortable seeing leaves coming up through the periwinkle. We hadn’t planted the bulbs and it just looked messy to me. I didn’t see the potential. One year, I decided to let them come up and bloom and they have astonished me by their beauty ever since.

There are parallels in life. I find that the less I do to pave every path for my teens, the more they find their independence and flourish. It’s not that I give up entirely, but I trust the simple religious practices, family rules, and their foundation in the gospel to be an anchor and a guide. In tulips, the bulb and roots weather the winters, not the leaves and blooms. Latent abilities and futures are waiting to spring forth when conditions are right for tulips and for teens. It’s good to step out of the way and not get frustrated by the random leaves when they start coming up where I did not plant. Teen years, like these flower beds, are a bit messy and haphazard. As Tim approaches graduation, I am in awe at all that he has accomplished. In many ways, he has succeeded because I stopped trying to prune back his many random interests and pastimes.

I recommend this book.

This book has thoughtful, Christ-centered writing and beautiful watercolor illustrations. It doesn’t have the usual jargon that Christian books use, and the author is sincere in telling her personal journey. Bible verses are hand-written and come from a variety of translations, which I found helpful. Peace settled within me as I read this book. It’s beautiful enough to keep on your coffee table and full of wisdom. I loved it.

Ward conferences 2021

The stake presidency and I made a video for children to watch during ward conferences this year. I wrote here a few months ago when we recorded it that I forgot to put on my shoes. 🤦 Leadership via Zoom and YouTube requires a lot of ego strength because it’s rare to get any feedback. On this last day of ward conference season, I am grateful to have witnessed the efforts from church leaders to help every person feel loved.

One Sunday a few months ago, I knocked on a door of a Primary leader on the day of her ward conference. Inside the house, children scurried to the door and I could hear their voices. “Mom! It’s the Primary president!” I was in a mask. This was not a family I knew. But the little girl had watched the video and could recognize me. One promise given to me when I was set apart in this calling was that children would feel the Savior’s love through my ministering. As ward conferences come to an end, and I have not been able to minister face to face with the children this year, I hope there are many who recognized the Savior’s love in our little video for them. I will probably never know, but that’s the way it is with most service. You stretch, try, and trust, then repeat. And sometimes you rush to the goal and forget to put on your shoes.

another screenshot of the video we made for the children

Light on a Darkened Stage

One of the nicest things someone has done for me lately is to ask to read a short book of family history that I wrote. She not only read it, but took the time to compliment me when she returned it. She asked questions about people and noticed that I had written it when I was raising small children. She said she liked my ancestors. It really made a difference to hear every word from this valued friend.

The time my friend invested to read and tell me good job was like someone shining a light on a dark stage, recently darkened by the passing of my grandmother and our kids growing up. Thank you, J for shining a light.

Doll work 6

I have made some progress on the doll I started in February.

This is the back of the head. I line up pins in a row where I want the part to be and wrap yarn around each pin, then and around a stick. The stitches you see on the right are the anchor stitches for all the facial embroidery. When I do the other half of the hair on the back of the head, they won’t show at all. Also, ignore the needle in this picture. I’m just using the head as a pin cushion.

I use upholstery thread to sew each loop of hair down, followed by a tack stitch to keep it in place. (By tack stitch, I mean a small stitch right beside the stitch that I have already made through the loop of yarn. This keeps the thread from coming undone.)

Here is a closeup of the stitch I make through the loop of yarn, just without the pin in the way. I am actually repeating what I have already done for the picture. I don’t normally do two stitches through the loop of yarn.

A friend passed away before I could finish this doll for her. So, I really don’t who needs it, nor do I have a great plan for the hair. It will probably be two ponytails or braids. I placed the hairline back from her face to allow for bangs, but I could always add more long hair in front of I decide against them. My observations about yarn are that woolen yarns seem prettier to me, and the thicker the yarn, the less work to fill the head with hair. I have used all kinds of yarn, thin and thick, acrylic, pure wool, and woolen blends, and I actually have a very pale blue yarn waiting for my next doll.

The thing that takes the most time, at least for me, is the decision making. We’ll see what develops. Somehow, even though this doll represents a missed opportunity and the loss of a friend, she smiles at me, and I know it’s okay that I didn’t finish in time.

To see earlier progress on the doll, here are links to the posts.

Things we do when we anticipate a goodbye

Tim spoke in church and it was the longest I have heard his voice in years. He keeps it all to himself, the humor, the insights, the excellence. Some people just don’t show a need for approval, and he is the most independent person I have ever known. In only one class has he asked for help. Even when we were homeschooling, he would take his work to his room and do it alone. I came home from church and took a personal video of the recording of church services so I can hear his voice and his testimony whenever I need it, and I hugged him up and told him how proud I am of him.

Richard went on a trip to Moab with friends over the weekend, and our dog, traumatized by the separation, found a place in his suitcase as he unpacked on Saturday night.

We all self-soothe in some way about anticipated separations. I make a recording and the dog tries to stow away. I have found 3 gray hairs during my life so far. All have happened around the time of high school graduations.

Uneventful, active day

This morning I awoke at 4:30 am and my mind was *on*. My notebook lay on the bedside table and I made the decision to turn on the lamp. Knowing how ideas, like butterflies, go, I wrote down what my mind had to say.

Later, in the human hours of the morning, I tried to deliver some flowers to someone, but her children wouldn’t leave the door to fetch her. Two red haired boys stood mesmerized as they looked at the flowers in my hands, and didn’t seem to understand I was asking to see their mom. Their eyes told me they should be the delivery people, so I handed them to the youngest and most eager, who immediately assumed new decorum as he marched forth. I stopped by to visit my mom for her birthday and found her giggling with her best friend of 30+ years. Lots of hugs today.

Mark and I were left alone tonight, so we ate out at Pizzeria Limone and sipped soda like pals.

I didn’t ask for anything from my grandmother’s home except the gray fox stole from the 1940’s, that is, if no one else wanted it. This and a few other treasures are now home with me. I don’t know if I dare wear the fur in public, but it is keeping me warm this cold evening. It snowed like it was Christmas today.

A year ago today, I was hospitalized and had just lost 53 cm of my small intestine. One minute I was well, and the next, I was not. A year later, I feel blessed to have this uneventful but active day.