Half of our family was away this weekend to have a grand adventure at Fish Creek with Richard’s family… and my brother Paul.
They camped, rode 4-wheelers, hiked, and explored.
We were all led to believe that it was just for the boys, but the pictures don’t lie. Richard’s sister was there. 😉
They came home dirty, exhausted, and smiling. It looked like a successful trip to me.
I’ve been hoping for some photos from the Scout Camp that Daniel attended this summer to add to this post, but my feelings for what occurred with Daniel don’t require a photo to convey.
Scout Camp was just what Daniel needed and I will always be thankful for his leaders.
Parenting has made me feel very inadequate lately. Some of this feeling comes because I know that I am a flawed person. Some of this feeling comes because the kids don’t need me in the same ways that they used to and I’m trying to figure it all out. The kids are trying to figure out who they are and some days they long for more independence, but on others they need extra support.
I will admit that one of my biggest challenges in parenting is how to handle all of the technology that my children want to use. Some days it seems like all I do is monitor time spent on the computer, Wii, and watching Netflix. We have set time limits, but screen time tends to blur capacity for self control. It’s no fun being the screen time sheriff, but I am diligent. Some days I feel like a martyr. I sacrifice my easy tone and adopt an uncomfortable iron will to keep them from being tied too closely to the computer and television. It’s parenting in the trenches. The enemy is in the house and it takes courage to keep it at a distance.
Daniel has needed some space and I have struggled to help him find the it while still parenting and guiding. We sent him to Scout camp hoping that the time away would nurture his need for independence, challenge, and friendships with other young men.
When he saw me for the first time after camp he gave me a long hug. I don’t know why. Whether it was the corny songs and cheers, the camaraderie of leaders and friends, the nights under the stars, particularly poor cooking, a week away from the computer, or a combination of all of these things, I was grateful for whatever it was that brought Daniel to a place that he wanted to give me a hug.
This state of grace that Daniel was given at camp was a magnet for the young cousins at our family reunion. He spent time wrestling and nurturing them. He caught them in the freezing river and waded them to shore; he was helpful and he was magnificent.
Daniel is an amazing young man and he has grown more patient and unselfish this year. He’s also grown about 5 inches. Anyone under that kind of physical stretching is going to have some adjustments to make in the way he moves, talks, sits, and interacts with the world. I’m cheering for him all the way.
httpv://youtu.be/7o-ByARPf9w
I love this boy.
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Richard went to Cub Day Camp with Timothy. It was a fun time and Timothy earned quite a collection of activity pins. I nearly ate his orange soap carving when he left it on the kitchen counter because I thought it looked like a piece of cheese.
After my great aunt’s death, I visited her apartment with my mom and sisters. Her husband told us something like, “We lived the best life. It was ideal, really,” and listed some of the things they did that made it so.
I’ve thought about that comment many times over the last few months. His list of things that defined the “best life” were so different from my own and honestly, that is ok with me. Our different definitions about the “best life” have initiated some thoughts for me about contentment.
I think that our hearts search for common things, such as comfort, meaning, growth, and acceptance, but we all choose to find these things in different ways. So many factors influence and hinder our efforts, but I think there are common themes among happy and content people. I think they are grateful and they are hopeful.
I am most happy when I have a balance between contentment and yearning, and that takes work. More than any other quality, gratitude keeps me content, but not complacent. The quality of hope keeps my yearning focused on eternal things, not worldly things.
There’s that part in Plato’s Republic where the people sit in the cave, perceiving only the shadow of reality on the wall in front of them and only a few enlightened people see a higher truth. Most horrifying to me in that scene is the idea that people are missing the really important things, but compelled to watch shadows, they become totally absorbed in the act of looking at imitations so they come to believe that “this is all there is”. Unlike Plato, I think enlightenment about important things isn’t saved just for a choice few. The best lives always include family, good pursuits, and faith and a lot of us are living well. These things are not shadows, they are some of the only real things we have.
If someone were to ask me today if I think that I live the best life, I would say YES, despite some worry and heartache today. These are shadows and will pass. The realities are clear and life is good.
This morning I am finishing my conference notebook. I got this idea from a religion course my mom took at BYU. The idea is to find the quotes that are meaningful to you from the words of the prophets and compile them by topic into a document.
This summer I read the General Conference addresses from the May Ensign and marked the passages that meant something to me. Next, I went through the marked passages and placed a post-it note at the top of the page with a topic written on it. I color coded these post-it notes, pink for motherhood, yellow for revelation, etc.
Using an electronic version of the Conference addresses, I am copying and pasting the quotes by topic into a Word document.
Through this exercise I have discovered that these are the topics that were important to me this year:
We visited the Weber cabin for a few hours this weekend to say hello to the kids’ great-grandparents and other extended family.
We visited with my cousin Laura and enjoyed her vivacious spirit.
Timothy, the super-cousin, walking with little David.
Richard and my uncle David talked for a long time. The Stewarts are good company. The following picture is my favorite. My grandpa got up from resting to wave to Sterling and Janice as they drove away.
When someone leaves the cabin, we line up holding dish towels or whatever we can find to wave to them as they drive away.
The kids chose to walk to the gate with their uncle as we drove out of the ranch. They just look so tall.
The end.
Today I may have unpacked the last box from last year’s move. It is another one of those unsung triumphs in my work.
Such as…
a sink with no dirty dishes,
a well-stocked bathroom cabinet with clean towels and plenty of t.p.,
an organized storage room with labeled boxes,
a room with a year’s supply of basic food items, well monitored,
clean baseboards,
functional light bulbs in each fixture,
a child’s closet with neatly folded hand-me-downs ready for use in a couple of years,
bills paid and checks deposited,
freezers full of meat, bread, and vegetables,
a carefully curated gallery of artwork by the children,
family photo albums intact and up to date,
rotating decorations on the mantel to celebrate holidays and changes in season,
magazines prominently displayed for use and old editions filed away,
jackets on hooks and shoes in baskets, laundry carefully folded (and unfortunately never ironed!),
the dog fed,
the humidifier cleaned,
the awards, programs, report cards, assignments, and papers are sorted and saved,
sugar and flour bins stocked,
seeing that the bookmarks in the children’s scriptures move steadily forward,
and so on.
My quiet life feels even more quiet this week with the kids away at school, but I know that this collection of small tasks that I do each day makes our lives better. What a blessing to be the one who gets to have so much time to reflect and ponder, to work and develop talents in the quiet of the house, all the time looking forward to the hour when they all come back through the doors and begin pounding on that piano, ringing on that cello, running through the yard, and crashing within the bins of Legos.
Someday when the kids are grown and out of the house, I’m quite sure that after the piano music I will miss the sound of crashing Legos in their bins. Echoes of this sound will always remind me of my boys.
I said goodbye to the kids this week and I am a little sad. Someone gave me an unexpected discount at the store and I sobbed for 5 minutes in my car about it. I hyperventilate when I hear a song on the radio that matches my mood. Every emotion is ready to jump out with any provocation, especially when I am alone.
Who knows how many hours I agonized over the decision about schools this summer, but peace eventually settled in my heart. I’m not sad about the decision. I am sad because I miss the kids.
They are going to have a good year. They have friends, they have goals, they are great students.