I LOVED the Face To Face event with Elder Cook and two Church historians, Kate Holbrook and Matt Grow last night. I always cheer for Brother Grow. He is the father of one of Tim’s friends.
You can view it here:
They answer questions about transparency in Church history, the accounts of the First Vision, polygamy, translation of the Book of Mormon, and more. The historians’ words are eloquent and full of faith.
It’s a page-turner. But you don’t need a hard copy. You can read it on your devices here. There are links in the electronic document to take you to the primary and secondary sources. This is an approachable history and I am enjoying it!
P.S. Mark likes it, too.
He carries me.
In recent months, it has become very clear to me that empathetic people are powerful influencers. I think one of the things my sons have learned through my Relief Society service is empathy. They have been great supports these past 3 years, and this week, they had the perfect words to say in response to something that happened to me. Then they helped with dinner.
This weekend I learned that I lost the only record I kept of my time as Relief Society president: the calendar with the names of each sister I served every day. In my emotional fog after Daniel left on his mission, I attacked a stack of papers on my desk and tossed them in the recycling, not realizing my calendar must have been among these papers. This is a profound loss to me. I gave up writing in a journal during the years I have served, telling myself that this calendar was to be my record of my time as president. This calendar, God, and I are the only ones who know what I really did during these years, and I have a terrible memory. I have wept on the floor over this loss. Underlying this loss is the fear that what I have done just ascends as smoke and does not matter. But we all know that is nonsense, and in stronger moments than these I will feel better. Acts of love remain, and are never wasted.
Here is something I found from 6 1/2 years ago. Paige plays the piano, Daniel, Timothy, and Mark sing.
I read an interesting article earlier this year about an author and speaker who took back his productivity by carving out one day a week that he labeled, “untouchable.” He allowed no calls, no texts, and no interruptions. He planned for these weekly events sixteen weeks in advance. He analyzed the results of his untouchable days, and he was 10X more productive each week. He has a wife who cared for the kids, so children were not part of his schedule during work hours.
Mothers don’t really get untouchable days, but I have learned that while a whole day may be great, even a few hours alone and untouchable can be helpful. The key for this author and for me has been to make a good plan for the time. Last year, when I wrote my book, my schedule allowed for about three hours a day for personal time. (This many hours was unheard of when I had all the kids at home.) I used one hour for scripture study and two for writing. Years ago, in an Ensign article, a man wrote about his mother who found her productive time was one hour before her ten children got up each day. This was never something I could do without regretting it by 10 am. My untouchable, personal time needs to be in the late morning, after I have done a few jobs around the house so my mind can focus.
I guess with school back in session, I am thinking a lot about productivity and creating good habits. New this year are the little cell phone baskets in the kitchen and we have each made a list of things we want to accomplish with all the time we will have because we are giving our phones a rest. On my list is to write another book and pick up the violin more often. There is a phrase that circulates through the Church of Jesus Christ, and that is that we are trying to raise a “sin resistant generation.” This is a different version of the idea of being “untouchable,” but I believe that taking back our personal time is one way we become spiritually resistant to sin, or untouchable.
I placed a few small fabric baskets in the kitchen. These are cell phone beds. This is where my phone stays most of the day. If it is not in my pocket, I don’t check it all the time. This weekend I also turned down my phone for most of the day Saturday. I only answered the most pressing texts. I kept it off during my date with Richard. By eleven o’clock, someone had decided I must be on vacation because I didn’t respond to her texts immediately. I don’t think I should have to be on call all of the time, but the reality is that people expect it because we all carry cell phones. When I take a break, I come back to messages wondering where I am, wondering if I have completed a task, and news, usually bad. Sometimes, I really don’t like my phone.
What do you think about this video? The narrowing sliver of time to create? The absence of stopping cues in social media? Of our tendency to visit sites that make us unhappy three times more often than those that do make us happy? Where do you draw lines with your phone use?
I found him. Can you? This image is from the Mexico MTC Facebook page. Let me be clear: I am NOT going to be a Facebook mother, offering opinions about what’s going on in his mission with other mothers. I guess this is a thing (smh). It is fun to see this huge group that entered the MTC with him, though.
There was a knock on the door during my Relief Society presidency meeting this week, and it was two members of the Elders Quorum presidency coming to update me on a few ministering changes and to talk to Richard. I invited them to join my presidency meeting and we addressed a lot of issues. I can’t tell you what a blessing this was. This conversation lifted a handful of burdens. Ministering takes a lot of coordination and teamwork, and I am grateful for the new direction in the Church, but also for an Elders Quorum president who shows us over and over that he wants us to be a team.
On the first day of seventh grade and tenth grade, I realized that summer wasn’t long enough. The routines were too familiar; the boys slipped into old patterns and we drove down the hill like summer never happened. “But wait,” I thought, as Mark left the car, “I really like having you around.” And when Timothy left the car, I decided to take the long drive home so I could be a little bit sad. Yes, yes, it’s all peachy and good they go to school. Yes, yes, they will grow and learn and have independence. Blah, blah, blah. Research, resilience, lights, socially adjusted and so forth. But for me, it feels like a continuation of a lonely, weary road today.