Category: Life according to Angela

West is home

I took an Old Testament course a few years ago which taught me to look at the words of Genesis more allegorically, or poetically. So when I read that God planted a garden eastward in Eden, I think the author symbolically places God in the west. Cain chooses to dwell east of Eden, which would be as far from God as possible.

Later, when the Tabernacle is constructed, the orientation is east to west, with the Holy of Holies taking the far west position. East to west, this is the direction the high priest would take to commune with God.

East and west, this is the orientation of my house. In the different seasons I know when the sun will light up my kitchen in the morning, and I know when to look out my western windows for the sunset.

East to west, I follow the sun each day.

East to west, disciples try to follow the Son each day.

Every day is a chance to begin again. Every day is a chance to pray and study and do something kind. I want to follow, east to west, because west is home.

I collect dishes

I have been reading about the art and psychology of homemaking, and the objects people choose to place in their homes to reflect what is important to them. One of my kids commented that I have added things during the pandemic that look like they belong in a temple, maybe because we couldn’t attend for a while. Over time, I have displayed more and more heirlooms, photos of ancestors, and beautiful dishes.

I have an obsession with beautiful dishes.

I wonder what that says about me.

I think my collection shows that I love to make the time memorable at family meals. The dishes I have inherited help me remember the fine ladies in my ancestry. I love many of the same beautiful things they loved. I am old fashioned, a flowery seventies girl, kind of like those brown calico plates. I don’t think I could name a favorite set. I love them all: my wedding china (collected after 26 years), the orange set for Halloween from the dollar store, Grandma Stewart’s Christmas Spode, Aunt Susan’s browns, the blue and white Liberty Blue, the elegant white bone china, the pink Depression glass, and the jade green plates… they help us celebrate seasons and family and beauty. Many pieces are antiques, which means they have seen people through all kinds of things. They are permanence and beauty, so let the world swirl around outside, sit down, and enjoy the serenity of old, steady things and a lovely meal.

Home vs the News

I take part in very different experiences depending on how much news I allow into my head. Again and again through this pandemic, I find a great contrast in our personal experiences compared to the picture painted by other voices. I don’t deny the real suffering going on, but I don’t have to open the door and invite it in all the time. I don’t think our minds are equipped to handle the amount of information in the constant news cycle.

We definitely don’t go out as much. We are blessed with pretty good internet and a home with lots of space. Richard still works from home in the basement office. I am mentally preparing for remote learning for Mark as case numbers rise. The pandemic continues to push us home, and I am doing what I can to make it pleasant. Without question, we are profoundly blessed.

Rest in Peace, little hamster.

Unique times call for incredible women

This is my presidency, my Covid era, incredible stake Primary presidency. We have been masked, filmed, Zoomed and distanced for most of the time we have served. We have adapted again and again, visited Primary leaders on porches and phones, held meetings outdoors and distanced in chapels. We have facilitated baptisms one by one, keeping families safe. Tonight I decided to take a picture after our masked meeting so I can remember this time, and also how we look behind those masks.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

I put photos of my 2021 dolls in my little album this week. I am learning new skill in creating personalities in the features. Which doll face or mood matches your hopes for 2022? “Resolute,” as President Nelson said to be? Hopeful and curious? Calm and full of faith? Or maybe cautiously optimistic?

I think I relate to the expression on the blue haired doll. I feel ambivalent about the New Year, blank about the coming months, but maybe a little relieved 2021 is a closed book. I can resolve to keep an open mind to what is ahead and find joy in it, but I would really welcome an easier road for a little while. I feel quieted by the things I need to fix in my life, but I know to whom I can go for help, and I have a plan.

Traveler

Tim’s two mission assignments
Mission home in Vancouver 12/29/21

I have been uneasy this week, knowing Tim was in transit in a challenging time, but I have tried not to indulge in my feelings. Without wallowing in my fears, I have been gentle with myself and allowed for comfort, quiet, reading, journaling, and some rest. Tim’s mission is not about me. My prayers have evolved from merely, “Please protect and guide him,” to, “Thy will be done,” (not said in resignation but as an affirmation) and, “Please let my son be a blessing to someone today.” The more I make this about God’s will and and helping others, and focus less on my feelings, the more healthy I become in my heart.

Gifts from my children

We all enjoy giving and receiving presents. But there is a difference between presents and gifts. True gifts may be part of ourselves– giving of the heart and mind– and therefore more enduring and of far greater worth than presents bought at the store.

James E. Faust
I played In the Bleak Midwinter in church. This is a screenshot from the YouTube broadcast.
Here you can kind of see Daniel, whose accompaniment was vital and beautiful.

I have been touched by many gifts this Christmas. Paige made drawings of Daniel and Tim at age three to complete my little collection of drawings of our children. Daniel may not consider this as part of his already generous gift and precious letter to me, but his piano accompaniment of the piece I played in church was a beautiful gift. Tim hand wrote long letters to each of us and made sure I had a gift from him under the tree, even though he wasn’t with us this year. Mark gave me a CD of music that he doesn’t enjoy himself, and was my companion for so many errands for Christmas giving. His service and company was so important to me this year.

It isn’t always possible to do something meaningful, but I know when I give “of my heart and mind,” the Spirit of Christmas fills my soul.

Today Paige and Michael celebrate their anniversary. Their presence in our lives is a gift and blessing.

photo by Rachel Angela Photography

Merry merry

There are things we do to mark the days leading up to Christmas. We have a few Advent calendars, and the little house Advent on my windowsill is one of my favorite new things. There are concerts and the annual trip to Temple Square. My hands have handled many Christmas cards and neighbor gifts, given and received. Most years, I embroider a doll or two for people who are grieving. I made some extras this year since 2021 has been rough for so many people. Today, the husband of someone I gave a doll to this week stopped me and thanked me for the comfort it gave to him. Who knew?!

I received a beautiful gift basket that I wouldn’t let my family open for days because I thought it was so pretty. A week went by, and I finally got around to unpacking the gift. In the bottom of the box, beneath some paper and wrapping was a silver ring with a “T.” I knew this was not intended for me, and tried to find the owner. I was successful, and the woman quickly came over to get her ring that she lost while assembling the box. The ring had the initial of her son who is serving a mission, and she prayed that she would find it. Another tender mercy for a missionary mom.

I might need a “T” ring myself.

My hands have been busy with other things, and today I am only writing as long as I have to wait for Mark to come out of a meeting. Oh, here he is. Merry merry Christmas, my friends.

Finished!

Well, this one is ready. 🎄🎁🤶 I didn’t know I loved her until the last stitch. Sometimes that’s how it works. I had some adventures with this face, including spraying what I thought was water on it, only to learn that someone had replaced the water in the spray bottle with car cleaning solution. Later, I replaced an entire eye because it was smaller than the other. This doll is a survivor.