On this quick trip, we focused on visiting just few people and places we knew 20 years ago. The memories tumbled around in my heart as we saw the old haunts, and I felt such gratitude. There were some heartbreaking things we learned and some really happy, full experiences, too. Reunions are often complicated like that.
It has been a busy few months preparing for a stake Primary training about temple and family history work. On the day of the training, Paige and I decorated 70 temple cookies, and that was a big job. Thank you, Paige!
Most of the effort to prepare for this evening can’t be shown. Truly, it was not about the pretty cookies. There was a lot of personal and collaborative work. It was a spiritual journey. By the end, I realized this wasn’t “my” training at all. My original ideas for the evening slowly changed to something better, thanks to counseling with my presidency and an enthusiastic high councilor. Answers to prayers came. My small hope for some help from a few temple and family history consultants resulted in around 16 people showing up to teach.
It’s my birthday weekend, and as I look back on my last week of being 47, I can say that it was one of the best weeks. I was with my Sanchez family in the temple, along with Richard, Paige, Daniel, and McKenna. I got to see ordinances performed for people from my own labors in family history research. And towards the end of the week, I believe miracles happened at our training.
I have learned that when I have a big event at church where I will be speaking or leading a discussion, I need to retreat in the hours (and sometimes days) leading up to it. I eat simple foods, and I avoid errands and people. I have spent a lot of time wishing I wasn’t like this, that I could have endless capacity to be with people and lots of energy to do more. But my strengths need stillness to show themselves. It takes quiet to bring order to all that I observe about people and the world. I am always watching and thinking, and I am analyzing behavior and words. I try to think of little things that might be helpful. I love to study and learn. All of this takes a lot of quiet. I haven’t always had the luxury of stillness when I needed it, but during the more busy times in my life, I have learned I can function as an extrovert, too.
I have had to work to understand that my quiet ways are a strength. I admire extroverts! I think they are wonderful.
Maybe you have struggled to understand that your personality unlocks your purpose on earth, or that your gifts are needed, noticed, and enough. I have. And I can tell you that your personality and spiritual gifts are wonderful. Consider their Source!
The Timothy iteration of Elder Ross is super funny each week in our video calls. He talks about his service in understatements and we have to draw out the things a different missionary might bring up right away. He is serving in Palau on an island called Koror. He welcomes the rain on the hot, hot days, and he is training a missionary and finding plenty of people to teach. His latest video call was interrupted by a little boy (a frequent visitor on his calls) trying to get his attention by stealing his phone and running away with it. There were scenes of a little palm, then ceilings and hallways whizzing past on the screen, and a final interception by another missionary, a hello, and a handoff. This happened twice.
A lot happens during a mission. There are a lot of emotions. There is a lot of heart stretching taking place on both ends of the weekly call.
I like preparing dinner while this light comes through the windows.
I like Mark’s friends. They are the first among our children’s friends to regularly hang out here. I like the sound of laughter coming from our basement. I like sharing treats with them and having them fill our kitchen. They are funny, so smart, good, and lively.
I like having people of all ages at our house. I keep toys ready for children and food for teens. They also like our video collection. To welcome adults, I have had to let go of concern about what the carpet looks like, or that the floor isn’t mopped, and that I don’t decorate like HGTV, and just welcome people inside. I have changed a lot in my level of hospitality. It is good (for a planner like me) to let go of the tidy plan, and embrace the messy one that allows people to feel loved and allows us to be seen as we really are. Our house has been especially full of friends the past few months. Just saying “Come in!” has a strong effect on friendships.
Sometime during the pandemic, Richard and I watched a movie about Vincent Van Gogh. I don’t remember the name of the film, but William Dafoe was the actor who played Van Gogh. I learned in the film that I have mispronounced his last name all my life, that the light in southern France is magical for painting, and that his paintings were not popular until after his death.
It’s a small thing, but as I make these little cross stitch creations, I learn about different artists’ use of color. Van Gogh is fearless with color, and I love recreating his paintings with needle and floss more than any other artist so far.
Mark had some great moments as a homeschool student. He said funny and clever things all the time. He also drew a lot of good pictures. These monsters and action scenes were drawn about 7 years ago in the margins of his math notebooks, but I am just getting around to displaying them. I cut them out, scanned them, and arranged them into a collage with my computer.
My favorite word lately is “curate,” as I am being mindful of what I keep and display. Now I think it would be cute to create a similar collage of artwork from each child. The art box is one of the last holdouts in my purge of homeschool papers.
There are years that ask questions and there are years that answer.
Zora Neale Hurston
I have thought about this quote a lot this week. At first, I agreed with it, but changed my mind. I don’t think our lives show up as one thing one year and another thing the next. Life is more nuanced than that. Yes, some answers are better seen after the experience, but I want to say that answers are always in the works.
I think it’s our tendency to generalize about time. I might say I had a bad day, when really, the bad stuff lasted a few minutes. We might have a tendency to say the past few years have been uncertain, but when I look at what I have learned during this time of really tough experiences, can I really say I have lived without answers? No! These years of poor health, deaths, and uncertainty have given me extra life experience and many answers in a consolidated time. Looking back, I am able to see more accurately that answers were always descending, helpers were prepared to do their thing, and clarity came, one adjustment at a time.
As I read the scriptures, I try to keep a running list of promises the Lord has made to his covenant people. This was my goal as I approached the book of Jeremiah, and my morning study time during the last few weeks has been dominated by His promises in this book. I ran out of dedicated space in my notebook, and the promises poured onto another sheet of paper. I learned that there are so many good things to come!
This kind of study is one reason I can say that God is good. I know for myself what He has said, what He has done, and what He has promised to do.
The book of Jeremiah has brought me a lot of hope that I did not see coming.
“As you study your scriptures… I encourage you to make a list of all that the Lord has promised He will do for covenant Israel. I think you will be astounded! Ponder these promises. Talk about them with your family and friends. Then live and watch for these promises to be fulfilled in your own life.”
Russell M Nelson
Richard arranged for our family to enjoy one last camping trip this year. He reserved a large campsite in Midway with beautiful views of the changing leaves on the mountains and Heber Valley. It was chilly, but we enjoyed generous food portions, a break from phone service, plenty of hot cocoa, and singing around the fire with a guitar. Life felt pretty good. Happy 23rd Birthday to Daniel! And happy Conference weekend.
