Category: Life according to Angela

I’ve been reading about unreasonable expectations. These are the kind of expectations which can carry a person to extremes in their ideology, drain a person of energy, and create an idea of futility.

I try to fight unreasonable expectations, but sometimes they creep in. There is too much to do each day, so I’ve been seeking help in prayer to focus on priorities. Sometimes I fail at this. This weekend was a “fulfilling external expectations weekend” and it seemed like the more that I did, the more that other fires would spring up for me to put out.

I felt my patience and endurance spiral into a nosedive of misspoken words and crash on my bedroom chair at 10:00 at night with the thought, “I’m not succeeding.”

I went to bed. Today I understand better what I let myself do. In my good intentions, my desire to be exact, I marched after the banner of a person instead of the quiet voice that whispers, “Take My yoke upon you.”

Someday when all my thoughts, actions, and intentions are sifted and sorted, it will only matter how often I acted on God’s expectations. I just need to stay focused on what He expects of me, and not take so much upon myself, even if the words of others apparently have some power over my heart.

I didn’t think that I was one of those people who sought the approval of others, but I think that I am, and this is the source of my problem.

Here’s a quote I read in a Conference talk that I found applied to my situation:

“There are so many ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’ that merely keeping track of them can be a challenge. Sometimes, well-meaning amplifications of divine principles–many coming from uninspired sources–complicate matters further, diluting the purity of divine truth with man-made addenda. One person’s good idea–something that may work for him or her–takes root and becomes an expectation. And gradually, eternal principles can get lost within the labyrinth of ‘good ideas’

“This was one of the Savior’s criticisms of the religious ‘experts’ of His day, whom He chastised for attending to the hundreds of minor details of the law while neglecting the weightier matters.

“So how how do we stay aligned with those weightier matters?

“…When asked to name the greatest commandment, He did not hesitate. ‘Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,’ He said. ‘This is the first and great commandment.’ Coupled with the second great commandment–to love our neighbor as ourselves–we have a compass that provides direction for not only for our lives but also for the Lord’s Church on both sides of the veil.”

(By President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, of course, Ensign, November 2009)

 

If I could teach the world something today, it would be a lesson in manners.

Let’s begin now.

When you call someone (me) on the phone, please introduce yourself before jumping into your reason for calling. And if you introduce yourself and you aren’t a close associate and have only met me one time, you may want to remind me about that so I know to whom I am speaking. If you have several things to share with me, please ask if I have 5 to 10 minutes to talk.

If I have never met you, it’s a good idea to be especially polite because you only get one chance to… you know, make a first impression. For instance, you should avoid listing grievances right away, especially if I have made it clear that I was unaware of the situation over which you’ve gotten yourself into a fluff.

If I ask a question, please do not belittle the question or become defensive. Just answer the question in a polite voice. If you don’t know the answer, please say, “I don’t know, but let me get back with you about it.”

Please give me the benefit of the doubt and be kind. You don’t have to ask about my life, but don’t be so abrupt that I wonder if you’re angry that I asked you a question.

Remember, it is an act of trust to ask a question. If you belittle me with your tone (not just your words), you break a trust.

You don’t have to be abrupt to be effective. You don’t have to be brisk to show that you are in charge. I find that leadership requires quite a bit of flexibility and love. Don’t forget that the person you are calling is just as amazing as you, and if you took the time to appreciate that, your life would be enhanced by the association.

Remember that no one is right all of the time, even you, and it’s okay to be human. Don’t hide behind a barking, abrupt mode of speech. If you think that being abrupt is just the way you are, you will need to hide it with your tone of voice and count to ten more often.

Being polite is not about you. It’s about making the other person feel comfortable. And You can do it!

Best wishes,

Preparing to teach a lesson for Sunday, the whirr of over-focused thinking distanced me from the life of the house.

In contrast, more mechanical thinking took over during the many car trips transporting kids from event to event. Driving and the occluded thought that accompanies it is a very big part of my life.

I come away from this weekend a little off-centered for all of the thinking and non-thinking that my tasks have required. I know this makes little sense.

How can a weekend of over-thinking and non-thinking be so exhausting?

I look forward to the regular routines of Monday for the balance and rest they provide.