So much of my heart went into this night that it feels strange to write about it here. I’ll fill some pages in my journal about it.
Please enjoy the pretty pictures of my family and homemade petit fours. (Mark helped me with the fondant glaze and Paige made the rosettes.)
I prescribed another reading of The Secret Garden for myself because I think it holds many of the keys to a good life.
I love to read about Mary’s transformation from a sickly, weak, lonely girl, to one who has energy to love people and life.
She had to work to get there, along with the play and self care.
I tackled a closet cleanout yesterday that I have been putting off for a long time. It was a lot of work, and I was tired when I finished, but also invigorated! With this momentum, I sat down at my desk and finished some more neglected projects.
I am thankful for the nature of work, how it forces me to move, build strength, go outside, and then it gives back the impulse to do more. Isn’t it funny how the most difficult step is usually just to begin?
I want you to see Paige’s reworking of her Secret Garden illustrations, so I am prescribing a visit to her website, www.paigemclaughlinart.com. The Secret Garden project can be seen by clicking this LINK.
On Saturday, I found this photo in a little album. Timothy was three, and the dog was a new puppy, not yet house trained. We had just moved into our new house in Sahuarita, Arizona. Mark would be born in a few days. Paige was dancing ballet almost every night, and Daniel would soon begin piano lessons. I miss those little faces.
I keep “hearing” the dog’s step, and expecting him to follow me around the kitchen, or to greet me at the door. Today, I saw Richard out of the corner of my eye and my mind registered that he was holding our dog. It will take some time to get used to living without the pup.
I am lucky to be able to see our children pretty often, but having a missionary is definitely a heart-stretching time. We were six plus a dog when we moved to Utah, and now we are three in this house.
My personality can’t be “on” all the time. There must be off days, and when weeks are so full they hurt, I look forward to weeks like this one, which are not noteworthy and feel in-between, like an adolescence. Our neighbors moved on Monday and it has affected me more than I expected…sadness, anger, self-pity, reminiscing… Like I said, this week has felt like adolescence.
I have taken these off days to read my books and think my thoughts, reading the news with narrowed eyes, because ouch, Ukraine. I donated a car load of old clothing and unused household goods that have been collecting in the garage all winter. I moved some blossoms and greenery into the kitchen, a ritual I look forward to each year.
Ritual and routine, on and off, beginnings, middles, and endings. This is what I have been thinking about during these early days of March.
Dear friend,
We made it through January 2022.
Did you see a lot of friends fall ill? I did. I also bought a lot more masks. I keep hoping each time I buy another box that *this* will be the last. In January, I went ahead and bought 3 boxes.
In contrast, if you are local, did you notice how sunny it was in January? Gorgeous!
We have been watching Masterpiece’s All Creatures Great and Small. I love Mrs. Hall and the sets. Now, THIS is a jewel box house. Every scene, I am hoping the actors will move around more so I can get a better look at the props and furniture.
I didn’t do a lot of organizing like many people in January, but I deep cleaned some rooms, and I got all the pine needles vacuumed from the carpet downstairs before we turned the calendar to February.
I read 7 books on cold evenings, every inch of me below the chin wrapped in blankets. No, I did not use my nose to advance pages on the Kindle to avoid exposing my fingers. But it’s worth considering.
A neighbor in our cul-de-sac just put their house on the market. It is a competitive housing market, so our street has been lined with cars. I learned the house behind us was sold to somebody who plans to turn it into an Airbnb. Boo! Still, I’m thrilled that there will be NO [mean] DOGS living there.
I have a new secretary, and she will be wonderful, as was my previous secretary.
Tim is serving in Maple Ridge, BC with two elders from Canada. One was assigned to Italy, and Tim of course was originally assigned to Guam, but they are “all in.” This is considered a temporary reassignment, and I am still not quite set in my mind that he is in Canada. I’m slow like that. I’m aware it doesn’t matter what I think, but it matters that he is smiling and happy, though. And he is.
Happy February!
♥️,
A.
P.S. write back soon. Ha ha
In this assortment, you will find things that I would like to remember about this week. Wouldn’t it be sad to forget *that* sunset? Or that Mark came home excited about the progress he made on his woods project… And that I worked on a quilt and found a few happy surprises… Wouldn’t it be unfortunate to forget these happy little things?
I have been reading about the art and psychology of homemaking, and the objects people choose to place in their homes to reflect what is important to them. One of my kids commented that I have added things during the pandemic that look like they belong in a temple, maybe because we couldn’t attend for a while. Over time, I have displayed more and more heirlooms, photos of ancestors, and beautiful dishes.
I have an obsession with beautiful dishes.
I wonder what that says about me.
I think my collection shows that I love to make the time memorable at family meals. The dishes I have inherited help me remember the fine ladies in my ancestry. I love many of the same beautiful things they loved. I am old fashioned, a flowery seventies girl, kind of like those brown calico plates. I don’t think I could name a favorite set. I love them all: my wedding china (collected after 26 years), the orange set for Halloween from the dollar store, Grandma Stewart’s Christmas Spode, Aunt Susan’s browns, the blue and white Liberty Blue, the elegant white bone china, the pink Depression glass, and the jade green plates… they help us celebrate seasons and family and beauty. Many pieces are antiques, which means they have seen people through all kinds of things. They are permanence and beauty, so let the world swirl around outside, sit down, and enjoy the serenity of old, steady things and a lovely meal.
I take part in very different experiences depending on how much news I allow into my head. Again and again through this pandemic, I find a great contrast in our personal experiences compared to the picture painted by other voices. I don’t deny the real suffering going on, but I don’t have to open the door and invite it in all the time. I don’t think our minds are equipped to handle the amount of information in the constant news cycle.
We definitely don’t go out as much. We are blessed with pretty good internet and a home with lots of space. Richard still works from home in the basement office. I am mentally preparing for remote learning for Mark as case numbers rise. The pandemic continues to push us home, and I am doing what I can to make it pleasant. Without question, we are profoundly blessed.
This sunrise greeted me this morning after I dropped off Mark at school. It was a good start to the week. I have been reading about the Creation in the scriptures. God’s creations remind me that He exists, and He is present.
Today is preparation day for Tim, the day he will need to do his laundry, pick up a new suit and dry cleaning, and get his car back on the ground so we can drive it during his mission. He sold all his vehicles but this one. This one holds so much of his time and labor, I don’t blame him for not wanting to get rid of it.
I cleared away all the autumn stuff yesterday and Mark and I put up all of our Nativities and two trees. Tonight we decorate gingerbread houses to celebrate an early birthday for Tim.
We have tried to be quiet for MTC classes and I never know how long Tim will have for dinner, but I feel pretty good about our family’s role in helping Elder Ross on the first leg of his mission. We haven’t been super spiritual, we have just tried to be helpful and available. Routines have definitely been rocked during the past few weeks, and I am giving myself a measure of grace for not being a monument to family gospel study. With so many unknowns and a rotating schedule, we have scraped through with prayer and a few verses of scripture. We made a gratitude display with scriptures and things we are thankful for. When the kids were younger, we definitely did more than this. I think on this a lot, and haven’t arrived at a strong conclusion about why, or how we can fix things. One truth is that our teens don’t want to engage in conversation with the whole family. It is more of a one-on-one phenomenon when it happens. There is no magic solution to every problem once a home becomes a “missionary training center.” Another truth is that our home has been an MTC all their lives, whether we realize it or not. The piano practice, gospel study, togetherness, and learning to work and serve, it is all there.