Category: Extended family

Rosemary M Wixom, the Primary General President, spoke in General Conference about the importance of the words we speak and write to our children. She related the story of a prisoner of war who was allowed to write home after years of imprisonment, but he was allowed only 25 words. He wrote, “These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college. Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year.”

Here are my 25 words to my family. If I did this next week, the words would be different, but this is what I am thinking about today:

Christ lives! Obedience brings power and understanding from heaven. Love one another. Find heroes in the scriptures. Develop charity. Keep a journal. I love you.

What would your 25 words be to your family?

One day when I was in California visiting my grandmother, I arrived at her home to find her waiting for me at the door, holding a photograph.

“You’ll never guess what I found while you were gone,” she said.

It was a photograph of her mother, Alli, which she had never seen before. The only picture we had of Alli as an adult is a very serious passport photo. The newly discovered photo was taken at a children’s birthday party in October 1925. She is sitting among the young children, beaming.

It was a sweet moment for us to see a smiling Alli. I keep a copy of this new photograph on my desk. Lovely.
During this past decade of research I haven’t found all of the family information I had hoped to find, but it’s small discoveries such as this photo that fuel my enthusiasm and love for the effort. In my journal I have begun a list of the “coincidences” that have occurred during this project that have brought new information, direction, and a sense that there are angels helping. I don’t feel peace, but an infusion of energy; I feel compelled to keep working, and even with the dead ends, the work is deeply satisfying.

My book grew after I visited California, but April 30th is my deadline.

I found an interesting article about the value of family stories for children. It seems that the time we take at meals and other family gatherings to share family histories can arm our children with a capacity to face difficulties in their lives. Knowledge of family (and the quality time spent with family to learn it) is “the best single predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness.” The stories give the children a sense of place and reminds them of the strength that others have shown. The New York Times article is here. A researcher commented in the article, “The [children] who know a lot about their families tend tend to do better when they face challenges.”

I love this thought. Sharing my family history research can help my children today. They can see that their grandparents faced challenges, succeeded in some things, failed in others, but they were REAL and they were strong.

This article clarifies that the value is not just in knowing facts, but the time spent weaving that family narrative into children’s lives that makes a difference.