Weber Snapshots 2019
Category: Extended family
The Virginia Reel 2019
We were busy at the Weber, my sisters’ families had gone home, and we were running out of time to do the Virginia Reel. My mom and I debated whether we had the energy to play Turkey in the Straw 200 times, but if you look at the faces of the dancers, I think you can see why we do this each year.
Our place
The Weber property has power over memory and time. Nowhere else can I feel my grandparents’ presence and influence greater. It’s here that I feel the tangibles of my childhood so well, but also slip easily into my place in the continuum of family roles. I’m the older aunt in the kitchen now, the one on the shore and bridge watching the children float down the river. I have been the child in the river and the teen lingering on the edges of traditional family games and songs. I have been the young mother chasing children and playing in the river with them. Now I am the older mother, no longer trying to get my children to eat something new, with a heart stretched by distance between us. The balance has shifted a little during these midlife years, and I find that I look ahead a little less than I recall the past. In childhood, everything lay ahead. In the quiet of this phase of life, I feel ancestors about me, and see that they continue to shape my life, my expectations for my children, and my definition of the good life. It is a beautiful legacy to visit each summer at the cabin.
People who Elevate
I told a friend that I am reading C. S. Lewis again because I need to behave better. His writings are an elevating influence in my life.
I have many people who influence me to be a better person.
My mom: She doesn’t get distracted by worldly noise and speaks truth without fear. She is also very fun.
Richard: He knows how to serve and exercises self control. He raises the fun index in the room. He has the patience to seek the best.
My dad: He is a builder, not just a builder of things like shelves and rock walls, but people.
Paige: It’s almost impossible for me to be negative when I am with her. She is optimistic and sympathetic, willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. She fills me with light.
Daniel: He is independent and willing to stand up for those who are bullied or labeled negatively. He shows gratitude and our testimonies grow together.
Timothy: He loves without measure. He is modest about his accomplishments and is steady in his work. He follows through with his commitments and perfects his skills so patiently!
Mark: He is obedient and seeks a relationship with God without guile. He shows gratitude.
Susan: She makes everyone feel like they are her favorite.
Sarah: She models love, independence, and strength.
Lorraine: She gives and gives. She tries to build connection in many ways.
Dale: He is a Christlike man who has only ever shown me kindness. He even tried to change the way he said Fish Creek when I had a hard time saying “crick.” (I can be so difficult.)
Janine: She has positive energy and knows how to lift others. I crave her company so often.
Charlene: She loves me and mine and lifts my heart in good times and bad.
Care: She knows how to reach me when I need a friend and she creates beautiful, fun things.
Becky: Seeks to encourage everyone in their talents.
Cindy: Never criticizes.
Kristy: “Seeketh not her own.” She is a rare person.
Anne: Knows how to live, but listens to my ideas, too.
Julie: She has blessed me with her knowledge and abilities and good book suggestions.
Melinda: I feel she loves me, despite all.
Nancy: She trusts me and visits me.
Kaye: She volunteers on every sign up sheet going around church. She teaches and models good homemaking skills.
I am out of time, and there are more of you. Also, I could say so much more about everyone. But you get the idea. So much good.
Sherbet Skies
Feeling a bit low this week, I went shopping for a gift, and noticed a beautiful rug in the store. I took picture after picture and admired the price. But the thought came that buying this rug wouldn’t fix the way I felt. I remembered a friend in Arizona whose home was filled with expensive, beautiful rugs. When I complimented them, she told me that she bought them during a time of grief.
On this beautiful week of sherbet sunsets, long walks, porch conversations, and a midnight message that family traditions live on while apart, my lapse in courage does not need to be memorialized with a rug!
Finding courage is about gathering from a depth of being and experience we no longer remember. My courage this week came as I studied pictures and stories of ancestors, and from a small voice in my mind reminding me of the power within myself to handle this time in my life. It came as I trusted in my ancient and continuing relationship with God.
Fish Creek 2019
Cousin time
Ship, turtle, dragon,
Tucson temple, crayon,
“A”, church, and a saguaro.
Good Days
The definition of a good day expands when I am thankful, and it contracts when I am self-centered. By all measures, narrow and great, I have had some good days this week.
In Spring Lake, I taught a little art class and we made small tile mosaics. I spent time sitting on the porch with my mom and some of my sisters. I walked in the canyon with Richard three evenings this week.
I was a bit starstruck to meet two great historians and authors, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich and Kate Holbrook at a conference. And by “meet,” I mean there a was a conversation about our shirts as we waited for bathroom stalls. Later, “Thank you for your work,” was all I could think to say when I met the Pulitzer Prize winner, but I think that was just right.
What do most of these activities have in common? They were opportunities for me to deal in vast things, such as relationships, possibilities, and nature. They were opportunities to learn from other people. For all the reading and scholarship that I love, there are levels of understanding to be gained only through hearing a person’s voice.
Home Work
We are moving forward with carpet after nearly seven years in the house. I guess this means we are staying, although we saw a lot more of our families when we lived out of state. Living close to family means we’re everyday relatives, not destination relatives. In fact, we went to St George this weekend and neither we nor anyone else took a single photo. I’m a little sad that I don’t have pictures of the missionary, his pretty mom now out of the hospital, the cousins, the aunts and uncles, and the grandparents who gathered to celebrate his service. We are still treated like destination relatives, but our stays are shorter. I love being present for the big and little things for the extended family, and there are some very sweet memories that I will treasure from this trip that do not require photographs to recall.
May has been its usual busy self. Richard was away from home all but one weekend, I think. The sprinkler system has been down, but the rain has compensated very well. My new church calling has stressed me out, but with each “first” and introduction, I see that things will be fine. The boys have stayed up late. We have still not planted the tomatoes. I don’t remember the last time I mopped the floor. But sometime this summer, there will be soft new carpet in the house, and I have a pretty new plant. The woman at the store who cares for the plants was a little sad that I took it home instead of her. I kind of want to name the plant Shiela. Wait. Did I just share that online?
Thirteen
I asked the family if anyone remembered their 13th birthday. Mark said right away, “I do,” since it was the day before. Paige told me that she remembered her thirteenth birthday because she got braces and her hair cut that week. I remember being angry about being teased. Tim remembers going to a Star Wars premier at midnight.
I like to read old posts of how things used to be, so here’s one for the time capsule.
At age 13, Mark is interested in reading, Legos, Scouting, the Anthem PS4 game, and a Netflix show about mind games. Salted caramel anything? Yes, please. Dark chocolate is pulling out in front of milk chocolate. His birthday cake of choice is Violet Sanchez’s glazed lemon cake. Milky Way candy bars, chili cheese Fritos, and store brand cherry toaster pastries traveled down the conveyor belt at the grocery store this week in his honor. He likes to peruse the spice aisle and try new flavors. Favorite dinners usually include beef: meatballs, meatloaf, pot roast, hamburgers, and steak. He also loves smoked chicken and is a barbecue sauce connoisseur. He reads my cooking magazines and likes to make Aebleskivers.
He is fastidious in his hygiene, disciplined in his obedience, and keeps a cluttered space for his building projects. He collects movie ticket stubs, smashed pennies, baseball keychains, Archie comic books, and mementos from times with his cousins. He can read a book in an afternoon and we make a lot of library trips. He listens to the radio in his room, and he likes the music of AJR, preferring the radio edited versions of their songs. George Ezra? Yes. Collin Raye?(in Mom’s car) Nooooooo!
Language Arts and Math are his least favorite subjects this year. I think it has more to do with the teachers than the subjects. He loves science, history, band, and Raisels sour raisins for which he makes trades during lunch time at school.
He’s accomplished and smart, but I am most proud of the person he is becoming. His self discipline in piano practice and scripture study are uncommon in someone his age. He asks me how my day is going and still pats me on the back reassuringly and randomly. He is making changes in screen time habits for the better. His Primary president, Barbara Bartee wished him a happy birthday and delivered a handmade gift, even though he has been out of Primary for a year. He spent his birthday morning cleaning the kitchen at the family cabin, deep in conversation with his cousin, Kaitlyn. He ordered a caramel shake, a scone, a barbecue burger, and onion rings for lunch at the Hi Mountain Drugstore in Kamas for his birthday lunch. He picked out an orange Technic car from the Lego store to build, and we watched the Lego Movie 2 in the evening. Daniel made a video call to wish him a happy birthday from Chile. They spent most of the conversation talking about Lego engineering.
This is long, but I know from experience what little details will mean in the future.
Mark, you are loved and needed. You are smart and kind. You make great food and I like how you ask me questions about what I think. I like how you style the front of your hair standing straight up and keep the rest short. I like your laugh. It has a deeper pitch than last year, but keeps its essential rhythm, a long series of chuckles followed by a sharp intake of breath. Your features are more angular than last year, and you are inches taller than I am. You don’t read the blog, but someday perhaps you will see this and smile. I love you.