Tim took a furniture design class this school year and made this alder desk. It is his own design and it is beautiful. Last night we went to the showcase event where all the students displayed their work. There were guitars, benches, chairs, beds, entertainment centers, cedar chests, and more. It is always an impressive sight. They have a People’s Choice award chosen by the families and friends and a Best of Show award chosen by judges who know the craft.
Tim won Best of Show!
His work is careful and meticulous. He listened to instructions and carefully executed them. This was not an easy thing to design a piece of furniture and bring it to life. We are so proud of him.
He claimed his very nice prizes, changed into a tux, and performed in a band concert right after that. He is a rock star.
I set out to find the “causes” of righteous behavior in the Book of Mormon. Beginning with the first verse and moving through each chapter, I began writing down things that led to righteousness: good parents, visions, dreams, the influence of others, determination to fulfill a covenant, rejoicing in the Lord’s hand in life, etc. Within a very short time, I found the goodness of God linked to the power of people to be good. With every effort shown by people, God was there, helping, guiding, inspiring, and strengthening. He is the source of the spiritual gift of faith. It is in Him that people can find a worthy placement of their faith. He sends blessings with perfect timing. He softens hearts. His Son’s atonement enables, purifies, and gives hope. He manifests himself in word, power, and deed. He is everywhere righteousness is happening. He is the “cause.” To be righteous is to allow His influence in.
I have had detracting voices to my religion throughout my life, some very close. My deep study is one reason I love my church with confidence. The Book of Mormon is true. As I have made it a manual for my life, I have felt its power. I have come to know to know what my religion is by dissecting chapter, verse, and words. It is good.
Yesterday I found a phrase I have not considered. “…all men shall reap the reward of their works, according to that which they have been…” (Alma 9:28)
What have I been to others? Have I been a light? Have I been a gentle place to land?
What have I been to God? Have I been a source of joy to Him? When needed, have I been able to reflect His light to others?
What have I been to myself? Am I as forgiving and patient with myself as I am with others? Is my focus on becoming or doing? Is my priority people or processes?
I have days when I am limited in what I can accomplish. On these days, I erase my to do lists. I have learned that my identity is not just tied to my productivity. There are very few essential things to do each day: pray, read scriptures, love others, repent, eat, and sleep. Righteousness is an identity more than a resume.
I asked the family if anyone remembered their 13th birthday. Mark said right away, “I do,” since it was the day before. Paige told me that she remembered her thirteenth birthday because she got braces and her hair cut that week. I remember being angry about being teased. Tim remembers going to a Star Wars premier at midnight.
I like to read old posts of how things used to be, so here’s one for the time capsule.
At age 13, Mark is interested in reading, Legos, Scouting, the Anthem PS4 game, and a Netflix show about mind games. Salted caramel anything? Yes, please. Dark chocolate is pulling out in front of milk chocolate. His birthday cake of choice is Violet Sanchez’s glazed lemon cake. Milky Way candy bars, chili cheese Fritos, and store brand cherry toaster pastries traveled down the conveyor belt at the grocery store this week in his honor. He likes to peruse the spice aisle and try new flavors. Favorite dinners usually include beef: meatballs, meatloaf, pot roast, hamburgers, and steak. He also loves smoked chicken and is a barbecue sauce connoisseur. He reads my cooking magazines and likes to make Aebleskivers.
He is fastidious in his hygiene, disciplined in his obedience, and keeps a cluttered space for his building projects. He collects movie ticket stubs, smashed pennies, baseball keychains, Archie comic books, and mementos from times with his cousins. He can read a book in an afternoon and we make a lot of library trips. He listens to the radio in his room, and he likes the music of AJR, preferring the radio edited versions of their songs. George Ezra? Yes. Collin Raye?(in Mom’s car) Nooooooo!
Language Arts and Math are his least favorite subjects this year. I think it has more to do with the teachers than the subjects. He loves science, history, band, and Raisels sour raisins for which he makes trades during lunch time at school.
He’s accomplished and smart, but I am most proud of the person he is becoming. His self discipline in piano practice and scripture study are uncommon in someone his age. He asks me how my day is going and still pats me on the back reassuringly and randomly. He is making changes in screen time habits for the better. His Primary president, Barbara Bartee wished him a happy birthday and delivered a handmade gift, even though he has been out of Primary for a year. He spent his birthday morning cleaning the kitchen at the family cabin, deep in conversation with his cousin, Kaitlyn. He ordered a caramel shake, a scone, a barbecue burger, and onion rings for lunch at the Hi Mountain Drugstore in Kamas for his birthday lunch. He picked out an orange Technic car from the Lego store to build, and we watched the Lego Movie 2 in the evening. Daniel made a video call to wish him a happy birthday from Chile. They spent most of the conversation talking about Lego engineering.
This is long, but I know from experience what little details will mean in the future.
Mark, you are loved and needed. You are smart and kind. You make great food and I like how you ask me questions about what I think. I like how you style the front of your hair standing straight up and keep the rest short. I like your laugh. It has a deeper pitch than last year, but keeps its essential rhythm, a long series of chuckles followed by a sharp intake of breath. Your features are more angular than last year, and you are inches taller than I am. You don’t read the blog, but someday perhaps you will see this and smile. I love you.
Friends, I had to have my portrait taken for display. I cut my hair two times and practiced my smile while snapping selfies over the course of weeks. In the end, the photographer just used the first shot because I began to progressively twitch, blink, and smirk with each successive snap. When he said to smile presidentially, my face collapsed like a hot air balloon without a flame. He let me see my photos and magically altered the one you see. I am not this bright and shiny, ever. Brian Twede is the photographer and he is my friend, a desirable trait for a someone who has editorial power over your image. It has been 24 years since I had a portrait taken of just myself. Brian told me not to wait another quarter of a century to sit for my next portrait.
I made some new friends this week, three women I did not know before, but felt inspired to choose to serve with me at church. I spent time with each of them, one by one, talking about important things like families, dreams, and testimony and felt my heart warm. I’m not surprised that I love them. I’m surprised how quickly it happened.
I worried and prayed for a sister-in-law.
I enjoyed a date night with Richard for our anniversary, which included two restaurants and lots of roses. Then, lucky us, we had another evening together later in the week, each of us dressed in Scout uniforms, matchy-matchy. I thought I was through with my uniform, but I am delighted at some good memories that came when I put it back on.
I watched Timothy play in an ultimate Frisbee tournament and helped him with Prom preparations. I had a lot of time with Tim this week, and I am so grateful for that.
I disabled the family computer last week, which was mainly being used to watch YouTube videos. When the kids were little, there were times I would chant, “I’m a big bad mama and I’m not afraid of you,” (I know, I am ridiculous) aloud or in my mind when I had to do the hard things that young parents have to do: enforce bedtime, deny requests for sugar, insist on car seats, clean up messes, and react in a positive way to tantrums. Not even that mental chant helped boost my morale over the computer drama. The reality is, a teen tantrum is much more painful to endure than one from a three-year-old.
Richard came home with the best pictures of a Scout campout in Diamond Fork. He brought his smokeless fire pit and Chip brought his guitar, and the boys and leaders sang around the campfire and roasted marshmallows and biscuits as it got dark. Mark came home from the camp, hugged me, and asked what he could eat. Balance is restored.
The upcoming break from Scouting has made for some interesting conversations. A few weeks ago at church, someone overheard that Richard would be out of a job at the end of the year. She immediately thought of his employment, not his Scoutmaster work, and her husband pulled us aside to commiserate.
We have observed that Scouting in our church is winding down, and there is less enthusiasm and participation. Richard has tried to figure out which boys want to pursue the Eagle rank and guide them to the right classes and activities so they can do it. In our unit, most boys and parents are not interested in rank advancement. This makes it hard to know if it’s “worth it” to go camping each month, but Richard and the other leaders continue to take them into the wild. It’s a good thing for the boys, the Deacons quorum, and the neighborhood. Scouting bridges a potential gap in our neighborhood between those who go to church and those who don’t. In fact, I don’t think the boys perceive a gap, as they are just friends having fun together. That is a very good thing.
I wandered into some mean girls’ territory today at the library. As I leaned down to get a book off the shelf, I felt a small rubber band wiz by, and perhaps another. Finally a girl spoke up, “Stop it. That’s Mark’s mom.” I had been kind to this girl before, but wasn’t sure she would claim to know me. In a staggering act of courage against her peers, I saw my small kindness come back to me, only it had grown. It had taken a new form, and it was better than my simple favor. It had become this girl’s bravery and consolation, and it put a quick end to the mischief. I gave her my best smile and moved on, not so defeated as I felt before.
I heard lots of great music this weekend from my family: a trombone quartet at a State music festival, a piano solo by Richard at church, and a concert at the Cathedral of the Madeleine with our niece in the choir. And my father in law commented on our family picture wall all afternoon. That was a sweet melody, too.
We have seen seven winters and springs in Utah. This spring, however, we have tulips everywhere, so many that I wondered if someone planted extra bulbs while our backs were turned. The array of colors is surprising and stunning. Most are tulips we did not know we had. They bloom in places I cleaned out in the flower beds last summer. They bloom in places I have ignored. In glorious display, they proclaim to me that some of the best developments in life happen after an intense season. They show me that latent divine understanding can bloom after drinking steadily from living water through the storms. What a sight!
