Author: Angela

I write so my family will always have letters from home.

Allow him

I think I can say that I am an expert on our son Mark, and this week he was different. He is used to being home alone without friends, so when he started to show frustration that he couldn’t get in touch with one of his friends, I was a little baffled. Over a few days, he kept asking me to contact his friend’s mother after his efforts to make noise and peer through the fence didn’t work to get his friend’s attention.

On Wednesday, the day before his Scout camp, Mark was especially lonely for this friend, but we couldn’t reach him. I took him out into the garden with me and we worked together. I looked at Lego sets with him online. I told him to clean his room (my answer for boredom). Eventually, the back gate opened and they were together at last.

That day they talked a lot about Scout camp and Mark talked his friend into going. “I had him at guns, Mom.” (There are rifles at Scout camp.)

I didn’t want to destroy his hopes, but I knew there were some hurdles to getting this boy to Scout camp the next morning. I tried to explain to Mark that it was up to the boy’s parents to get him ready, and there was a lot to do. I told him there might be trouble getting all the forms filled out, and the camp might not let him go at the last minute. This time, it was Mark’s turn to be baffled at me. He was sure his friend was going to Scout camp.

Mark was right, and the love he showed his friend was the key to getting him there. This sweet friend is a Church member, but doesn’t feel comfortable among the kids at church. Mark misses his friend on Sundays.

I realized that Mark’s discomfort all week was probably the Spirit prompting him to act. My attempts to divert his attention and dampen his enthusiasm didn’t make his job any easier. As I read a text of gratitude from the boy’s mother, what had begun for me as cautious encouragement for Mark turned to open admiration for his courage. Next time, I hope I will do more to allow him to follow the promptings he feels from the Holy Ghost.

It seems strange now, but I had spent some time this week worrying about sending Mark to camp. As he stepped out of the car when I dropped him off, I saw Mark’s confidence and maturity as he went straight to his friend to welcome him. There is strength and perception and power in our eleven-year-old. Trust me, I know because I’m a Mark expert.

I forgot about these

My quilt group made these blocks about 18 months ago and exchanged them with one another. I made the ones with the smiles. I was busy and put them away and forgot about them. It’s definitely time to sew them together and make this quilt! I plan to ask my sisters and mom to help me hand quilt around the figures during our family reunion. I’m bossy like that.

Vamp

photo by Liz

In the score of a musical, there are measures marked “vamp,” and you repeat these simple measures over and over as the actors do their lines before jumping into song. Some nights the actors take a little longer with their lines, and there will be more repetition. If you want an example of what I am talking about, listen to “Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof on YouTube. As Tevye speaks, the orchestra vamps.

This week I am between numbers, just vamping: sleep, pray, eat, work, sleep, pray, eat work. Richard is at Scout camp, and I’m a little aimless, except for my goal to pick up all the pieces. I find myself free to clean out drawers and organize files. Clutter, beware. I can’t vamp forever, with a family reunion and a trip to Yellowstone coming up, but the simple beat of sorting through our home will make the transitions easier.

It’s just good to know where the socks are. It’s good to refill the empty sugar and flour containers, and discard old plastic cups that have taken over the kitchen drawer. Somehow in all the sorting, I find myself again. I get so lost when we are away from home.

I am not who you see at family gatherings

Image from Pinterest, unknown artist.

We live life on many levels. I feel very good about my inner life, where my thoughts and ideas and study have a home. My outward life is good, too. With neighbors, I am outgoing and try to be thoughtful and friendly. Among extended family, however, I usually draw inward. I feel my loss of integrity at family gatherings with guilt and surprise. Again and again, I wonder how I can feel so “together” about my life until I need to interact with relatives.

I disengage because there is a smaller chance of me messing up or facing assessment. I need to stop being afraid of what others think and say. It robs me of myself and better family relationships.

A favorite great-aunt continues to be my ideal for how to interact at family gatherings. Recently, I went over her patterns of behavior and realized she made brief, beautiful appearances and then retreated. She was often late, seeming to operate in her own time table. She brought expensive bakery goods to contribute. She had her place: she was the sparkle. She probably felt the pressure of her role very deeply. Was she late because it took a lot of effort to face us, with gifts, clothes, and food, perfectly arranged?  Her effusive compliments were a part of her script for a few hours and then she was gone. When she stayed for a few days instead of a few hours, she took time away from family to take walks and read. Clearly she had a need for personal time. I admire how she handled the high-intensity dynamics of a family gathering. She chose to turn outward, and this takes so much courage. She was kind and outgoing without compromising her need for solitude. I want to be like this.

Receive every offer, idea, and contribution with gratitude and grace. Greet warmly. Accept invitations with excitement. Express gratitude freely. Encourage and admire openly. Read another time. Celebrate individuality. Remember we are all children of the Most High and have a need to be loved.

July 4th at Spring Lake


There are two stories of our Spring Lake retreat for July 4th. The first story is peaceful, quiet, and relaxed. The next story is more crowded with cousins and family. Each has its place and is important.

Richard J. brought me homemade Swig cookies~La La Land~ice cream run~sunset views of the Payson temple~4 of 5 siblings and families attend~My aunt’s family attends~pretty tables~big lunch~birthday cake for Sarah~nap on the couch in the middle of everything going on~babies ~littles ~middles ~teens ~twenties ~thirties ~forties ~fifties ~sixties

Mark’s Summer Adventure

These pictures came to me gradually over the week that Mark was gone. It was a fun to see how far he traveled each day. He said he really, really loved Mount Rushmore and many other things on his trip with his cousins and grandparents.

Crazy Horse

 

Martin’s Cove

I know Mark will always remember this trip and love his grandparents for the time they took to get to know him better as they traveled. It’s really a priceless gift.