{"id":15626,"date":"2018-10-23T10:42:42","date_gmt":"2018-10-23T17:42:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.angelaross.net\/blog\/?p=15626"},"modified":"2018-10-30T16:46:51","modified_gmt":"2018-10-30T22:46:51","slug":"strings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.angelaross.net\/blog\/2018\/10\/strings\/","title":{"rendered":"Strings"},"content":{"rendered":"

Note: This is about a process more than an event, and left ambiguous so you can see yourself in the narrative. It is a lesson gained over many years, events, and interactions.<\/em><\/p>\n

I live like a kind of marionette, bouncing and dancing according to the will of puppeteers, responding quickly to turns and lifts of the cross of wood over my head. I live a frenetic pace, until suddenly, I am set down on the ground. In a tangle of strings, left in a heap on the floor, I struggle to find which way is up. Wasn’t I doing just as the puppeteers directed? So why am I here, entangled in all these strings?<\/p>\n

I am flustered as I fight to stand. I become angry at the puppeteers for the awkward situation in which they have left me. I don’t want to be on the floor, but I must rest after struggling against the heaviness of wooden cross, strings, and my own weight. I am trying to rise, and I look down in shame as I struggle. There are people who understand, but I cause some hurt to others because they see my struggle as a retreat. I want them to understand that I came here to dance and I am trying! I wonder, was that pretty marionette real? Or was it a puppeteer all along that made me who I was?<\/p>\n

On the ground, I work new muscles. I do repetitive tasks. I hardly create, but I repair things with patience. In menial tasks, I come to myself. One by one, the strings begin to snap. Looking down as they fall, I see they are not light, clear strings, but road-stained tethers. They are my hurts, my fears, and my own expectations, and they are my only connection to the puppeteers and critics. I feel new freedom in the release. More strings snap at unexpected times during sacred, methodical work and service. Grace likes a surprise entrance. Without strings, the criticism and puppeteers retreat in my mind to their inconsequential places: apart from me. There are no limits as long as I remember these things:<\/p>\n

I am a child of God.<\/p>\n

I am more than I know.<\/p>\n

No mortal puppeteer defines who I am.<\/p>\n

I always have power to choose who I will be.<\/p>\n

And I rise. I believe I will dance again, not because a puppeteer or strings compel me, but because that is what I did as a child, before I acquired strings.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Note: This is about a process more than an event, and left ambiguous so you can see yourself in the narrative. It is a lesson gained over many years, events, and interactions. I live like a kind of marionette, bouncing and dancing according to the will of puppeteers, responding quickly to turns and lifts of … Continue reading Strings<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-according-to-angela"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.angelaross.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.angelaross.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.angelaross.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.angelaross.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.angelaross.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15626"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"http:\/\/www.angelaross.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15626\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15646,"href":"http:\/\/www.angelaross.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15626\/revisions\/15646"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.angelaross.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.angelaross.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.angelaross.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}